A Little Knowledge

My executive lifestyle has taken its toll this week, hence little activity on the site. I got back to Bangkok last night, and made it to Nana in time to drink way too much, and stayed out way too late with a couple of sleazy reprobates. I have a hangover the size of Belgium, but must write.

A Little Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing

Learning to speak Thai if you’re going to spend any amount of time here is a huge help. Even “survival Thai” will make things ten times easier, and open up a lot more possibilities.

Unfortunately, the more Thai we learn, the more dangerous we become. Knowing precisely how to insult a mamasan in her native tongue is a recipe for disaster – as a buddy found out in a certain Nana Plaza bar recently. He narrowly escaped a beating, but ironically if he’d been cursing in English they probably wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.

I found myself in a similar situation last night, having slept too little and drunk too much. Incredibly, as I staggered past Thermae at around 5.30am, there were still a few young ladies touting for business outside.

My offer of ฿100 for the “holey trinity”, complete with altogether too many Thai swear words, was not well received.

Kryptonite

Wandering the streets of a more “civilised” Asian capital recently, I felt like Superman must have felt in the criminally-underrated Superman 2, after losing his super powers.

Tons of hot Asian chicks, 99% of whom were showing zero interest. In Bangkok, you can ascertain whether a girl’s interested just by making eye contact – whether in a bar, in a disco, on the street, on the skytrain or wherever. To have hordes of hotties positively avoiding my eye was a sobering experience. It’s good to be back.

25 thoughts on “A Little Knowledge

  1. Not to mention Phnom Penh, and other parts of Cambodia, as well as parts of Vietnam and the Philippines. And Myanmar. And Laos. Hell, most of South East Asia really. Bangkok is definitely easier though.

  2. A propos of nothing in this thread I hit the Pong ( a fitting place to try one’s chops as it were.) Snaffled a fetching young Kamen whore who showed her hand with a cola demand and settled for three Heinies which she dumped back like a sailor on leave.
    Tine to consumate this short term marriage. In a pathetixc lunge for the driver’s seatr, the bitch ordered me to tip her acne-scarred service girl buddy. (I’s been tipping all night)
    I took the opportunity to cut my losses and blow that Bluish popstand (excellent bar but it needs to train up the rascals who think they’re smarter than the long term)farangs.
    Stomped out just down the road as far as that S&M plac,e turned around, went back to the bar and explained the situation to the mamasan who , after some advocating, put all six hundred baht in my hand.
    Mamasan agreed that POLITENESS was the basis of good raport and that the gal had fucked up.

    Better than sex.

  3. Hmm. It gets annoying, sure, but they’re all whores at the end of the day. I’ve ceased to be surprised when they badger me for money.

    “Better than sex” is a bit of a stretch!

  4. BBB – I understand you can get into all kinds of unpleasant situations if caught mongering in Laos or Vietnam. Not sure if it is true, this is just hearsay.

    I really wonder if as Bangkok gets more ‘civilized’, our lives as gentlemen of leisure will become more difficult. Anyone venture a guess? Civilization is a bitch, I would hate to have to go to Papua New Guinea in my old age just to score some happy endings.

  5. No chance. Prostitution is ingrained in Thai culture, has been for centuries. The farang scene is merely the tip of the iceberg – 5%, say some. 1%, say others.

    Yes, Washington Square will probably get bulldozed in a couple of years. Some speak in hushed tones that Soi Cowboy may await the same fate. But for every brothel/bar/massage parlour that closes, another one springs up elsewhere. And the wealthy Thais are far too fond of the Ratchada massage parlours to allow anything to happen to those.

    Venues may change, but the whole scene is not going away anytime soon.

  6. “I really wonder if as Bangkok gets more “civilized”, our lives as gentlemen of leisure will become more difficult.”

    Of course!

    “Civilized” means “westernized”, and in western society, prostitution is by far the most horrible thing in the whole world, even more horrible than general violence and killing, especially in Sweden where i have lived all my life (thnx to the femi-nazis that rule Sweden). So when enough farangs will enter the southeast, there view on prostituion will also ihave an impact on these societys.

    And believe me, once the goverement is determend to really put an end of this nightlife, it will go pretty fast.

  7. I’d just like to point out that the phrase “better than sex” has a deep personal relevance, as just about anything (and that includes nothing) is better than sex with me right now.

    And my last street whore stole my deodorant.

  8. One of my buddies I know in a particular foreign government agency routinely gets invited to meetings with Thai military generals that take place on a private floor of Poseidon in a massive hot tub. A big enough tub for a bunch of guys to meet sandwiched between some of Bkk finest “models”.

    Change? Doubtful but I could see the Neon slowly diminishing..

  9. Agreed – to be fair, Thais aren’t particularly into the gogos, so they wouldn’t be too bothered to see them “go-go” (haha, I did a funny).

    So the number of gogo bars in Bangkok may diminish over time – but even if Cowboy (for example) were to close, Nana and Patpong would take over the trade. It’ll be a long time before all three disappear, and the beer bars won’t be going anywhere.

    How would Pattaya’s economy cope without the girly bars?

    Any establishments frequented by middle- to high-class Thais (like the soapies) are obviously safe for the long haul.

  10. Bangkok Bad Boy :yeah exactly my thought when in Sweden a couple of years ago they banned mens magazine in regular shops too, i thought, bah, NEVER will that happened, and bang, after a week almost all mens magazines were gone in the regular shop shelves. Now in Sweden it has gone so far, they wont even air Miss Universe on national TV anymore.

    And Exactly my thought when i lived in NYC, and they said, tomorrow no smoking is allowed in the pubs, the bars and the gogo bars, and EVEYONE laughed, including me, the New York goverment will actually force such stupid law upon the pub/bar visitors? Extremly ridicilous, concidering half of the people forcing this law upon us were smokers themselves and regular pub visitors. BANG, less than a week later, almost all bars/pubs had starting practicing this law.

    Bangkok badboy, you might think again

  11. yeah, i live in a place called Bangkok, and sure things are random, corrupt and very arbitrary here, but so is New York, just to a lesser degree.

  12. Heh, okay apologies for that – should have noticed.

    I stand by my opinion though – there is no way that prostitution (which, incidentally is already illegal) in Bangkok is going to disappear anytime soon.

    It is, of course, just my opinion. No sense arguing over it until it happens (or doesn’t), I guess. Welcome aboard.

  13. Thnx dude, yeah, no point in arguing more at this moment. And thanx also for a fun and informative blog!

    Keep up the good work.

  14. Aber – I’ve never been to a Scandinavian country, but always had this image of them being liberal, blesses places where you see topless girls sunbathing in public gardens and where tall, impressively shaped blondes are loose and frolicky . Exaggerating a bit here, but what I am hearing is the complete opposite. Exactly, how much fun is Sweden now?

  15. Julian – Well, let me put it this way, Scandinavia is okey (not more than that though), but Sweden is really bad.
    Sweden suffer from extreme political correctness, and although most ppl arent really aware of it, the social preassure to fit into this correctness makes Sweden a terrible place to live in.
    How does this apply to what we are talkin about on this blog? Well, Sweden has also since the last 10-12 years, seen an extreme development of a new wave of feminism, a feminism that has been dictating the media for over 10 years, this has of course infected the whole swedish population to a point where, even if a swede doesnt call himself a feminist, he still carries alot of values of a radical feminist, cause Swedes have been somewhat brainswhashed over the years by media. And to fit in, and be political correct, the general intellectual swede will agree to alot of feministic basic values, in order to fit in. they are not always aware of this though. Almost all my male friends at the University called themselves feminists.

    So, you will never see an advertise featuering a bikini dressed girl, cause it will immideatly get labeled as sexist, everyday, hundreds of advertisings will get sued for being “sexists”.
    A popstar 2 years ago, went to a strip club (OMG a strip club!!! how chauvinistic), and it became big news in the media, and everyone thougt he was chauvinistic and a true opresser of the female gender. So while very few things are banned in Sweden, the general swede is so concerned about being political correct, so you will be viewed as a real chauvinistic pig if you say you like to look at beautiful girls, Miss Universe got dicthed by national TV, cause they thought it was opressing the female gender. And most ppl agreed.

    When Sweden were about to join the soccer world cup, held in Germany, some feministists thought the Swedish fotball team should bojcott the whole event, because Germany had prostitutes, and they got almost all players to not only agree that this was correct, they also started to tell everyone else to bojcott the whole world cup, and it was really close that the Swedish team would cancel it all, but eventually, some ppl thought it would be best to play anyway, but it was close, very close.

    The feminist rule Sweden, and the media, and the news, i would say, around 30 procent of the total media deals with feminist gender issues. Sometimes very implicit, but often very explicit. You often hear ppl that even say they arent into feminism, still mention phrases and sentences said from some famous feminist, cause they got influenced by the media without knowing it.

    The most influental newspaper in Sweden has an on going series about the war in Iraq, alomst half of the articles deals with women issues, all portraying the male as a predator and opressor.

    No Sweden is NOT a good place to be, if you must go to Scandinaiva, avoid Sweden.

    And if you meet any Swede in Pattaya, Ibiza or some other party paradise place, its not always the general Swede, and of course, i am just writing about Sweden in general terms, but this pretty much my impression of Sweden. After all, i lived there for almost 32 years.

    But i got away, puh!

  16. Bangkok Bad boy – i dont know if your comment were sarcastic or not, but anyway, i might add that for me, i was never into soccer, so i couldnt care less if they played or not, but i wanted to mention it, beacuse people who knows a little about sports also knows that playing world cup, whether its Soccer, Hockey or anything else, is usually something all the players dreamed of when they were kids, and when they finally get a chance to play and represent their country, they will just give up on their dreams, just to be political correct and follow the feminists. Personally, i think its kinda stupid.

  17. Aber – thanks for the ‘Sweden Today 101’. Interesting to hear that… There seems to be a trend in the West to ban anything resembling fun.

    BBB – you are doing a great service to the community with this blog! Not only does one get to read about the goings on in our favorite place on the planet, see the occasional babe photo, but one also gets to expand one’s cultural horizons. Kudos.

  18. Julian – well, the thing is in Sweden, and thats the difference between lets say the US and Sweden, is that while in the US they ban and censour alot, in Sweden they dont, because they dont have to. Because swedes are so “mature” and concerned to be political correct, that they will help control eachother, the social preassure is a big factor here, and also the feminist controlled media.

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