Shades of Grey

Shades of grey, yesterday

Shades of grey, yesterday

There is a particularly nasty affliction of colour-blindness running rampant back in Farangland. Whilst we denizens of the Land of Smiles can happily see life in various shades of grey, our Western cousins are hampered with vision that only seems to register black and white.

I touched on this previously – a British pal pays more in drinks and cigarettes for the attentions of a sturdy lass in the pub (and fails) than he would pay for a guaranteed result here in Thailand, which in my experience would likely be more enjoyable.

Yet he, like many, had the whole mental block about “paying for it”. That’s something for the dirty mac brigade. It’s an admission of inadequacy – even despair.

Is it?

Christopher Brookmyre writes:

All those uptight assholes who took way too much pride in telling you they never paid for it in their lives – they didn’t know what they were missing. And this was because they didn’t understand the nature of the transaction. They thought paying for it was undignified, that it somehow diminished them as men. What kind of insecure loser did you have to be to believe that, when, in every other aspect of your life, paying someone else to render you services was what underlined your status? Yeah, sure, you could pump your own gas, wash your own car, shine your own shoes; you could roll dough and make your own fucking pizza. But who the fuck wants to do that when you’ve got money in your pocket? Having to do that shit yourself because you don’t have money in your pocket – that’s undignified; that diminishes you as a man. Paying for it didn’t mean you couldn’t get it any other way – it meant that you could afford the convenience option, same as any other service.

And talk about denial! “Never paid for it.” Yeah, right. Maybe not directly, asshole, but you fuckin’ paid for it, make no mistake. Sneakier than a stealth tax, and just as unavoidable, there’s a traceable dollar outlay connected to every time she unzips your fly, whether she be your wife, your mistress or a one-night stand. And this isn’t just about steak dinners and hotel rooms, either. This is about that thousand-buck suit on your back, your health-club subscription and your stylist’s fee, too. Even if you’re a rock star backstage at the Hollywood Bowl: that seventeen year-old with the doe-eyes and the awe-struck look is still playing an angle, and she ain’t leaving without a piece of you bigger than the one between her teeth. Whether it’s a noseful of your best pure, or the cheque she’ll get when she tells all, one way or another, that blow-job is coming at a cost.

The Sacred Art of Stealing

Gentlemen, there is no such thing as free sex. Pants Elk wrote on this very website back in January:

More on “taking them home”: my friend did the math for a first date here in Paris, done with the style a gorgeous Parisienne expects;
Flowers: 40 euros
Champagne: 30e
Cab to her apartment: 15e
Cab to theater: 15e
Show/opera tix: 200e
Cab to restaurant: 15e
Meal, wine: 150e
Cab back to her place: 15e
Kiss/cuddle/grope/fuck as situation permits: “free”
Cab back home: 15e
TOTAL EXPENDITURE: 495 euros
Result: uncertain

Cheap return flight to BKK: 500 euros
Bargirl: 20e
Beer: 1e
Cabfare: 16e
TOTAL EXPENDITURE: 537 euros
Result: guaranteed satisfaction #

You pay, I pay, he pays, we all pay. Barfines are cheaper than alimony. And I see no shame in it, either.

Good luck convincing your mates back home on that count though. It’s a curious world…

17 thoughts on “Shades of Grey

  1. Wonderful. Good on you. Just rub it in a little bit harder why don’t you? I’ve been back in Oz for 4 weeks & I haven’t seen anythying to get excited over.

  2. All sex is quid pro quo. You give something to get something. Or you get something if you give something. May be money, secutity, a few drinks, or just making her feel like she is lucky to have you. A girl wants to think she isn’t a whore, good for her. But they all want something first before they give it up. The only difference is the medium of exchange.

  3. In a perfect world, and from a sex point of view bkk is pretty close, I find mixing “pay for play” and “no pay but you are really paying” works out nicely for some. For instance, I have a friend who dated a Nurse and it took 7 months before they played Doctor (and it turned out to be horrible). At the same time he dated a University student, a real one, and it took about 6 weeks. Finally, he has his threads of Giks and one night “pay for play” girls. Oddly enough, the “pay for play” thread helped him be patient with the “no pay but you are really paying” girls creating a nice balance.

    Personally, “pay for play” has ruined me and I’ve lost all patience with non-working-girls. I can’t imagine paying for an expensive dinner and not getting some. Paalease.

  4. How many $150 dinner dates have I suffered through that ultimately begat nothing more than some quiet time with me and ‘Han Solo’?

    Too many.

    Christ, one alone is already too many.

    Fuck them bitches.

  5. After many years of banging whores I have found that at times it gets rather unsatisfying. When you’ve acted out every fantasy you ever had, when there’s nothing a whore can do that’s new any more, when you’re totally sated: this is when the chase becomes better than the catch.

    (Almost) 🙂

  6. I’ll pay for it for one reason, because I want too. Don’t need to justify it to myself and don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Fuck mai pen lai, the best thing mr capitalist farang can take from buddhism is to accept or reject without regret or concern.

    As for Pants, BBB’s mate and the Heckler spending lots of dollars with very poor returns, just don’t do it. Thinks thats what they want? Probably is, but they want what they can’t have a hell of a lot more. Stop needing women and being like all the other weak assed, desperate, fawning, downtrodden men and you’ll start getting a practical education into Mr Darwins work.

  7. Just a wheezy confederate yelp and bursitis-worrying air-punch from the Pants Elk gallery for the welcome return of Combover …

    (Oh, and I could never afford the kind of Parisienne my friend was “courting” – looking again at the figures, I think the meal is way too cheap – double that.)(And it would probably be as crappy as the attitude it was served with – Bangkok is the best city in the world for eating out)(waits for inevitable return on “eating out” feed …)

  8. I think the point is, when you pay for it, you know in the back of your head that the girl does it for the money, and not for you or who you are. Everyone can get laid for cash, but if you can charm a girl into bed, it helps your ego build or something. Second thing is that if you take a whore, you keep thinking in the back of your mind which ugly perv had eaten her out just before you did.

    It’s not a pride thing, but the fact that you think you are better because you can pick up whores without conscience makes it laughable. It is a free choice wether you want to talk your woman into bed or pay for a prostitute.

    Maybe it’s a pride thing, as in, I can take pride in telling people how many whores I’ve paid for sex …

  9. When you “charm a girl into bed”, how much money do you generally spend from start to finish? Include the value of your time in the equation.

    I think you’ll find you pay more than we do.

    It’s nothing to do with ego or pride – at least, not for me. I just like having sex with beautiful women. Pound for dollar for baht, Thailand is amongst the cheapest and easiest places to do so. Whilst Cambodia or Myanmar may be even cheaper, the quality of life doesn’t even begin to measure up to what we have here.

    And that is, lest we forget, why the vast majority of us are here.

  10. Actually I moved here cause this was the only place in the world I know of where I can join the British club and get the same treatment as all the other British passport holders but yet I am an American passport holder. Why in the hell this is the case in Bkk I will never understand but after being turned down to join the British Club in both Hong Kong and Beijing I felt I had no choice but to move to Bkk. However one night while stumbling home from the British club after drinking too much ale I did happen to get a nightcap in the Star of Light…

  11. Combover posted:

    “When you’ve acted out every fantasy you ever had, when there’s nothing a whore can do that’s new any more . . . ”

    Once, out of complete and utter boredom, I asked a persistent katoey in a third floor Crown Group “30/70 ratio” bar if he could arrange “a show” for me. The place was influx from a straight bar to a katoey joint.

    I used with my best German accent, thinking this would rid of this pest soon enough. “How ’bout a really hot chick having full-on, 2-way, oral and vaginal penetration sex with a fully-hung ladyboy for an hour or so?, ” I proposed, (I confess, with a bit of arrogance)
    Thought I had him stymied with that one.

    Uh, no way
    After a moment’s thought and a quick buzz around the bar, this enterprising tweenster returned proudly with, “I can do for you.”
    He then pointed out a very hot queen-whore type and a young athletic action Lara Croft type katoey.
    It would cost five thousand short time in that joint next door. (Discretions ;-? Ten if I took pictures.
    It was the real deal but I chickened out.

    Tipped the pervy bastard five hundred and scurried back down to Pay-sakoon which was still pretty good in those days.

  12. BassFace: Everyone can get laid for cash, but if you can charm a girl into bed, it helps your ego build or something.

    Give this a go sometime. . . . . Charm the whore.

    There’s plenty of “gray area” there with a good hook-up to charm a good friendly whore. I’ll just leave the details up to your imagination.
    Think about it. You CAN charm a whore.
    That’s what we do when we “swindle a straight chick out of free sex” , isn’t it? We dine and dash?
    I mean she’s lookin’ down the road to at least a phone call.
    (Please don’t flare back with the usual “double the whore’s price” stuff.)

    Like anybody else, they’re at their best when they fell good about their work.
    We feel better about ourselves in the morning when we charm them 🙂

  13. Prufrock posted…

    “After a moment’s thought and a quick buzz around the bar, this enterprising tweenster returned proudly with, “I can do for you.”
    He then pointed out a very hot queen-whore type and a young athletic action Lara Croft type katoey.
    It would cost five thousand short time in that joint next door. (Discretions ;-? Ten if I took pictures.
    It was the real deal but I chickened out.”

    And therein lies the rub. Do you…

    a. Chicken out, and continue to feel unsatisfied with what were previously thrilling sexual encounters in every conceivable position with any number of beautiful young women, it being all just too easy?
    b. Go for the katoey scenario above. Or similar. In essence, look for ever more extreme sexual activities, in ever greater quantity, just to recreate those early thrills? There’s a lorra lorra soulless, alcoholic, self deluding self loathing types like this in Thailand.
    c. Chat up white birds for an ego boost?

    Under the above scenarios, c doesn’t seem like such a bad option for retaining one’s sanity now & again. Perhaps I should try it sometime…:-)

  14. Combover: Too familiar. I’ve been guilty of #b myself. Never #c though. Not in Thailand, anyway. Affordable limitless sex with beautiful women does sometimes get kind of boring. Never thought I’d say that…

  15. getting it for free requires #1 time and #2 skill.  paying a fee alleviates both requirements.  even if you have #2, hence no  need to pay, there is only one way to dispense with #1, presuming your girl is not drunk, otherwise impaired or 'suffering' from nymphomania, or some combination thereof.  the one way is: pay a fee.

    i've heard every argument against paying and every retort.  paying her to leave is popular retort, but that doesn't explain punters who like to have their girls around as company.  in the end, whether you have #2 or not, what you're paying for is convenience and immediate gratification.

    ask any guy how long it took him to sleep with his GF or wife.  if time=money, we all make a substantial investment in such cases.

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