Co-Habitation, Part One

Domestic detritus, yesterday
Domestic detritus, yesterday

I’ve always lived alone in Bangkok. Whilst I’ve lost count of the number of girls I’ve shared my bed with, they’ve never stayed for longer than a day or two. The endless influx of companions can take its toll on a simple apartment, beyond the simple need to throw away all those extra toothbrushes every week or two.

Indeed, my most recent clearing-out session (pictured) yielded a handbag, sanitary towels, a clockwork musical cherub, a wax mould of my hand clasped with that of a particularly over-keen young lady, a half-drunk bottle of something pink, a mini-dress, various cosmetics, a cellphone charger, three pairs of earrings, three toothbrushes and a bottle of fanny-wash. All offers considered.

And so onto the point. As far-fetched as it may seem, I recently found myself falling for a particularly tasty gogo girl. I came across her for the first time a week or so before leaving for my mercifully brief trip to the UK, and we found ourselves spending most of our time together until I flew to Europe.

I returned to Bangkok having taken a rather painful hit in the wallet, but went to see her in the bar whilst I waited for more funds to come through. She was visibly thrilled to see me, shooed away the pushy waitresses who were suggesting I should buy her a drink, and just draped herself over me as I sipped on a cheap beer.

In between spending time together, she’d been sending cheesy love poems to me by text message. They were obviously copied from a book, but it was still a touching gesture – especially considering the fact that all too many girls seem to consider an appropriate vocabulary of communication to be “you buy me drink”, “I go with you”, “two thousand”, and “pussy hurt now. you finish soon please”.

I’d tentatively approached the subject with her after a marathon session of naked twister, and asked what she thought about the idea of moving in. Her eyes lit up like the neon sign of the gogo bar from which I’d plucked her.

And, of course, if she was to be my live-in girlfriend, she wouldn’t be working in a gogo bar any more. She could be housemaid, cook and concubine – in exchange for a modest allowance, of course. All that remained was to work out the details, and to make sure there weren’t any last-minute hitches…

Part Two is here. Feel free to share your own tales of domestic bliss – or otherwise – with Bangkok’s ladies of the night.

14 thoughts on “Co-Habitation, Part One

  1. remember this, you can’t turn a ho into a housewife… it doesnt work. remember this and you’ll be ok.

  2. A friend was incredulous that, on talking to a few bargirls and asking them about their ambitions, they so often told him that a housewife was precisely what they wanted to be.

    Whether they’re likely to be any good at it is quite another matter…

  3. Michael always use to have live-in go-go girls staying with him, and he always had two locks on his door. He would give her a key for one of the locks, and that lock would be the only one they would use.
    But being a person who does not like arguments and to be hassled, he would start using the the other door lock to keep her out when things got weird.
    It avoided conflict when it was time to move on.

  4. Yes, plenty of photos. And no, you can’t see them. I’ve never yet published photos of “my” girls, and I don’t intend to.

    I might not have many principles, but that’s one of them I’m afraid 🙂

  5. Punter41 is full of shit.

    I had a bar girl move in with me. Twenty years later she’s still here, and she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

    There’s all kinds of different girls in the bars, for all kinds of reasons. Give it your best shot but don’t lose the plot.

  6. There are plenty of horror stories out there, but quite a few successes to. Anyway, why not give it a go? If she’s not too damaged, it might well work provided you’re aware and sensitive of each others point of view.

    This book is quite a useful guide for interpreting each other’s motivations…

    http://www.amazon.com/Thailand-Fever-C-Pirazzi/dp/1887521488

    But I also reckon you’re doomed to fail if you get itchy feet and aim to keep your Bangkok Bad Boy lifestyle going on the sly.

  7. @Guy Dow: different strokes, different folks. I think if you snap the girl up before she’s spent too long in the bar, things are a lot easier. But what do I know?

    @Combover: excellent points.

    @Pants Elk: possession is nine tenths of the law.

    @Heckler: Path of least resistance. It’s physically sickening, but on the other hand it’s too ugly to throw away. Someone might find it.

    @PB: Wait for part two 😉

  8. Damn Pruie that’s the most positive and shortest thing I have ever seen you post. What’s up your ass?

    BBB, I haven’t read Part II yet but I can relate to where you are heading, I hope…

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