Empty Handed

Empty hands, yesterday
Empty hands, yesterday

Just to redress the balance, I’ll post a quick story on how – despite my best efforts – sometimes events can conspire against us. It doesn’t happen very often though…

The Party

I was at a party in a hotel suite in the wee small hours of the morning a few weeks ago, with a ton of booze, some pals and a gaggle of gogo girls, all from the same bar.

I’d been to said bar several times, and had drunk with a few of them – I just hadn’t barfined any of them before. So we all knew each other, more or less, the booze was flowing, the music was pumping, and the clothes were gradually being shed.

I’ve always been quite picky about girls. Back in the UK, that meant I didn’t get laid very often. Here in Thailand, it means I usually only get sleep with extremely attractive women. Anyway, I’ve always aimed high. So I’ve certainly experienced my fair share of rejection in years gone by. It just doesn’t happen round here very often.

I’d got my eye on the cutest of the five gogo girls. Even though she’d been practically begging me to barfine her last time I was in her bar, she just wasn’t interested. Her pals were less cute, but equally aloof. It seemed they were enjoying dancing around the suite in a state of undress far too much to contemplate stopping any time soon – not even to accompany me back to Bad Boy Towers. Me! The cheek of it.

Street Meat

Dejected and dismayed, I figured that rejection on five counts was quite sufficient for one night, and left the party. On my way to grab a taxi, I miraculously bumped into one of the hottest gogo girls in Bangkok – she’d been on my “to do” list for some time, but I’d always been “just visiting” when she’s been available in her bar.

“Hey, I go with you!”, she beamed.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!”, said I.

“No, I joking you. I have customer already. See you”.

Adding Insult to Injury

Enraged, I walked the length of the Miracle Mile in search of an acceptable bed-partner for the night. Nada. Nothing.

I took a cab home alone. The chubby security guard grinned at me as I walked in, and said “Ha ha, you no have lady tonight”.

I considered killing him, but decided against it.

8 thoughts on “Empty Handed

  1. A BG I was dating long-time a couple of years back and I were sitting in her bar, Hollywood 2. She asked my mate who was sitting beside me if he would like to bar-fine any of the dancers on stage. My mate replied, “No thanks, I have a girl-friend”. My date then says to me, “His hand is his girl-friend”.
    So you are never really empty-handed. But I am not suggesting you would ever do that. 🙂

  2. Occasionally, BBB invents a story so outlandishly unlikely, even for Bangkok, that it strains credulity to breaking point. This is one such story.
    Thanks for trying to make us feel better, BBB.

  3. i don't find this funny at all.  what if you were only in BKK for a weekend and this happened?  major letdown.  the BG joking with you is classic.  even BG's can smell desperation.  so you can't let it show through. 

    and then you have the ugly ones who smell the desperation and just can't deal with the fact they're not desirable- as in KMS' comment

    then you a doorman that kicks you when you're down. 

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