The BARANG Drinks 2 Much – Part Two of Two

Continued from Part One

Nice Riverside Cafe, Phnom Penh
Day Three, 12:00

‒Would you like your eggs scrambled or fried?”

‒Scrambled, please.”

Yum yum.

‒Have you seen The Athlete yet today?”, I asked The Heckler.

‒No. Let’s check his hotel after breakfast.”

“How was the Heart of Darkness?”

“Fucking awful.”

The Quay Hotel, Phnom Penh
Day Three, 13:30

“Hello cute receptionist, is Mr Athlete in his room?”

“No, sorry sir, he went to, er…”

“The bar?”

“No, the er…”

“The pub?”

“No, the er…”

“The olympic stadium?”

“No, the hospital.”

“Crap.”

Mr Thai’s Tuk Tuk, Phnom Penh
Day Three, 14:00

“So you’re half Thai?”

“Yes, my mother was Thai, from Bangkok. My father Cambodian, from Phnom Penh.”

Mr Thai’s tuk-tuk was wallpapered with photographs of Mr Thai posing variously with his passengers from over the years, in bars, on beaches, grinning like a loon. A mentalist, but nice enough with it.

He said he’d wait outside the hospital for us, despite our protestations that we had no idea how long we’d be.

International SOS Medical Clinic, Phnom Penh
Day Three, 14:30

From behind a dully-patterned curtain, The Athlete was reclining on a hospital bed, talking to a doctor. He’d taken his shoes off, but was still wearing the sunglasses.

“Yeah doc, no, just the kidney pain really. Otherwise, I’m in pretty good shape. I’m an athlete.”

“I see. Have you had anything to drink today?”

“Only breakfast. Bloody Mary. And a beer. But I couldn’t finish it, so that doesn’t count.”

“I see.”

The doctor took The Athlete away for some blood/urine tests. The Heckler and I waited in the room with the male nurse, who was keen to practise his English.

“Sorry, my English isn’t that good. I grew up under the Khmer Rouge, you know? School was not allowed, so we had to learn by ourselves, in secret.”

“Does that include the medical schools?”, I thought better of asking him.

His English was actually fine, and it was pretty humbling to hear him describe the conditions, the forced labour, the nightmarish details that must have seemed like a lifetime away now, in this relatively Westernised hospital ward, but are still living memories for so many Cambodians. Further analysis is not for the likes of this purveyor of chortle-writing, but it was a sobering conversation.

“You need to drink less”, the doctor was telling The Athlete as they returned. No shit. “No more alcohol today or tonight, okay?”

“You got it, doc. Can I have a beer tomorrow?”

“I suppose so.”

“Cool. Let’s go.”

The Quay Hotel, Phnom Penh
Day Three, 16:00

After a bumpy ride back in Mr Thai’s tuktuk (thanks, Mr Thai), we hung out in The Athlete’s suite for a while, watching Misery on TV, which lightened the mood no end. The deaf-mute hooker turned up again, so the Heckler and I decided to leave them alone for an evening of sobriety and deep, meaningful conversation…

Nice Riverside Cafe, Phnom Penh
Day Three, 19:00

Exempt from the alcohol ban, we indulged in a couple of Beer Laos and discussed our plans for the evening. The Heckler wanted to hit a high-end club. I didn’t think there was one, and said I’d prefer to check out a few more venues featuring young ladies of negotiable virtue, particularly since I’d got chatting to a very cute waitress and planned a daytime date for Day Four – he could always hit a club with The Athlete the night after. But tonight could be my last chance to get laid this trip. Well, last chance to pay to get laid…

Given that I could name half a dozen of my choice of venues, and their full postal addresses, whilst Heckles could only say that he wanted to go to “a club”, I won the toss. First up to Sharky’s, with the intention of getting some food…

Sharky’s Bar, Street 130, Phnom Penh
Day Three, 20:00

After a few more beers, we kind of forgot about the food. Whoops. Heckles was chatting to an ageing but pleasant enough girl at the bar, as I cast a forlorn eye around the other slim pickings. I was ready to leave after the first beer, but The Heckler seemed surprisingly intend on his MILF-esque moll, and we ended up staying for a few.

As it turned out, she’d be leaving with us. At least she had her own motorcycle:

“Cashback!”, I murmered to myself as the three of us pootled off down Street 130 on two very tired tyres…

Shanghai Bar, Street 51, Phnom Penh
Day Three, 22:00

This place had been recommended by the Pattaya Ghost, I think. Another hostess bar, but on a rather grander scale. To be fair, there were some very attractive hostesses in here, but they were unfortunately already taken by (predominantly) Asian customers.

The Heckler was taking great joy in introducing the unoccupied (and un-attractive, but what can you do?) hostesses to “Mom”, as he’d decided to call his Sharky’s “pull”. She took it in pretty good humour, to be fair. What she lacked in youth, she made up for in good spirits. Speaking of which, another round of B-52s landed on the table…

But after another couple of beers, I still had the urge to check out fresh pastures, and fresher girls. gavinmac had told me that his favourite bar in Phnom Penh was close to Shanghai bar. It was called Howie’s. I couldn’t remember any other details, but it seemed as good a place as any to check out.

Howie’s Bar, Street 51, Phnom Penh
Day Three, 23:00

Howie’s had eight or nine bartenders, and one (male) customer as we walked in. My initial reaction was to turn back around and walk out again. The Heckler and The Heckler’s Mom outvoted me. When my request for a Heineken was met with a can, rather than a bottle, of said beverage, I knew I’d been right. Cans are gay.

None of the bartenders were available for take-out, which was just as well since none of them were attractive either. Things briefly began to look up when a lone female entered, and sat alone opposite us. She was slim, sexy, dolled up very nicely, and made the universal throat-slitting gesture with her finger as soon as I made eye contact. Nice.

I went back to reading the list of ingredients on my Heineken can instead. There wasn’t anything else to do.

Pontoon Bar, On A Boat In The River, Phnom Penh
Day Three, 00:00

This was really, really gay. As we walked up the gangplank, I could hear a cringingly over-keen plummy-voiced English DJ introducing a record by saying something along the lines of “And now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, one of my favourites”… Presumably he’d moved to Cambodia because nobody in England would let him DJ at weddings any more.

This time, I put my foot down. This was beyond crap, and I wasn’t even going to have a drink. The other riverside bars seemed to close around midnight, so I cut my losses and went to bed. After all, I had a date in the morning…

Nice Riverside Cafe, Phnom Penh
Day Four, 11:30

‒Would you like your eggs scrambled or fried?”

‒Scrambled, please.”

Good Cambodian Girl was late, so I’d ordered breakfast while I was waiting.

She turned up soon enough, looking almost as tasty as my bacon and eggs, and ordered Cambodian food after casting a horrified glance at the Western menu. Her English was good enough that I wasn’t forced to resort to attempting to speak Khmer. Given that I could still only reliably remember how to say “massive wang”, this was most fortunate.

“So, what do you want to do today?”, I asked.

“I don’t know, up to you”, she replied.

I hate Asian girls sometimes.

It was a ridiculously hot day, and seemed even hotter than the Bangkok that I’d left. We were still sat outside though, because I was on holiday, damn it.

“Where can we go that has air conditioning?”

“Inside the cafe?”

“I’d like to see a little bit more of the city than that.”

We discussed our options – refrigerator showrooms, ice cream shops, or hey – how about the cinema? Classic date strategy – take her into a dark room where she can’t see you and isn’t allowed to talk to you. Awesome.

Sorya Shopping Centre, Phnom Penh
Day Four, 13:00

The movie wasn’t showing until 2pm, so we had an hour to kill. It’s a pretty cool shopping centre though, with a roller blading rink on the cinema floor. Had lots of fun watching the Cambodian youngsters repeatedly falling over and injuring themselves. What?

Anyway, so what do you do with a bored Asian girl in a shopping mall? Take her to Swensen’s, duh. Yes, Phnom Penh has Swensen’s. Cue one happy GCG.

Eventually, it was movie time. We were ushered into rows, filling up from the back, in what I understand is “American style” seating – we were not allowed to pick a nice quiet part of the theatre in which to sit. Every other customer was a Cambodian teenager with a mobile phone. And every single one of them made or received at least five calls during the movie.

Oh, and the thing about cinemas being nice and cool and air-conditioned? Seems that’s just a Thailand thing. This one was boiling hot – I was mopping sweat from my brow every five minutes or so for the duration of the movie, which was about twice as long as it needed to be.

I don’t remember the name of the movie, because the posters were all printed in Khmer script. The soundtrack was, of course, also Khmer-only. There were subtitles in parts, but these too were in Khmer script. I think it was a ghost movie, but I’m still not entirely sure.

Jean-Paul Sartre famously wrote in No Exit that “Hell is other people”. I would humbly like to refine that to “Hell is Cambodian people, armed with cellphones on which the volume is set to 11, in a boiling hot cinema”.

The FCC, Phnom Penh
Day Four, 17:00

We sat up on the roof and ate some terrific pizza, watching the boats go by on the river. Sounds kind of gay, now that I write it down, doesn’t it? She was cool, we just clicked and had an awesome time. I’m just an old romantic, really. You know when a girl’s so cool that you find yourself starting to imagine what your kids would look like before you’ve even finished dinner? No? Just me? Oh.

Anyway, we followed dinner with a wander around the classier bars, one of which was host to the following exchange…

Some Riverside Bar, Phnom Penh
Day Four, 22:00

“It’s so nice here, I’m so happy I met you”, she said. “Just me and you.”

Just then, there was something of a commotion, as two visibly drunk men struggled with the door. And joined us at our table.

“Hello!”, said The Heckler.

“Hulu!”, said The Athlete.

“Who are you?”, said The Heckler.

“I’m BBB”, said I.

Special Notice for Young Penfold (and Other Persons of Limited Attention Span): You have reached the 2,000 word boundary. You can stop reading if you want, but there’s a biscuit in it for you (free biscuit applies only to YP, stocks are limited) if you get to the end without falling asleep.

“No, her”, he said, attempting to pointing at the GCG, but missing by an angle that may actually have been obtuse.

I reluctantly introduced the GCG.

“You’re very very very very pretty”, said The Heckler.

“Yesh”, agreed The Athlete.

“Can I have your phone number?”, said The Heckler.

“No”, said the GCG.

I cringed.

They eventually wandered off into the night, and – to be fair – did pay for our drinks…

Reggae Bar, Street 110, Phnom Penh
Day Four, 00:30

Finally, sometime after midnight, we had to bid each other farewell. Neither of us fancied a disco, she wasn’t quite so enamoured that she was about to abandon sufficient principles to sleep with me on our first (and doubtless last) date, and the longer we left goodbye, the harder it would be.

One very keen snog later (I cupped her boob, it was awesome), I dropped her back at her mother’s place in a tuk-tuk, waved a teary goodbye, and said “Martini’s, please” to the driver once she was out of earshot.

Martini’s, Street 95, Phnom Penh
Day Four, 01:30

What? I had a stiffy.

Oh, come on, you’d have done the same thing.

Oh yes you would.

Unfortunately, Martini’s was rough. Seriously rough. You might think that spending 90 minutes licking a hedgehog whilst watching Stoke vs Bolton with Glaswegian commentary would be quite rough, but the calibre of girls in Martini’s made such a desperate act seem almost smooth in comparison.

I bought a Heineken from the outside bar, and cast an eye around. Maybe there would be one cute girl, hiding in a corner.

There wasn’t. There were lots of middle-aged Western social outcast men wearing Grateful Dead tshirts and ill-advised facial hair, staring into space, and some of the roughest crack-whores I’d ever seen in my life. Daywalker would have loved it.

I peeked into the disco, where things were, if anything, worse.

Back to the main courtyard, I drank my beer alone and stared contemplatively at a tree.

It’s not that there aren’t hot girls in Phnom Penh, but as I think gavinmac suggested a while back, perhaps the recent relative explosion in hostess bars means that the talent is spread far more thinly – the freelancer pool in particularl is a shockingly pale shadow of its former self. Maybe each hostess bar has one truly hot girl. There are, what, a hundred bars? That’s a lot of ground to cover.

In comparison, a few years back I could expect to find perhaps 20 potential partners in Sharky’s and another 30 in Martini’s. Even with the disappearance of the Viets, I might have expected 10 and 15. This trip, for me at least, they were 0 and 0.

I was still sipping my Heineken, savouring my last beer in Phnom Penh in these far-from-idyllic surroundings that held memories of much more palatable times, when I felt a slight tickle on my arse.

I grabbed the girls’s arm as I span around, her fingers still stuck half-way into my back pocket. I wasn’t about to hit a woman, and with another 20 or so rough-looking girls looking on, I just called her a thief, pushed her away, checked all of my pockets (nothing missing), chugged the rest of my beer, and walked out.

“Bye bye, the Martini’s Mutant”, I said on the way out.

“Bye bye”, said he, flapping a rudimentary limb. I put a dollar in his hat.

We Drank Beer In The Tuk-Tuk On The Way To The Airport. It Rained.

Two hostesses, one bona fide date, the worst cinema experience of my life, and a narrowly-avoided pickpocketing. Not a bad extended weekend, although not a patch on my first PP trip a few years back (5 girls in 3 nights). The lack of Vietnamese girls, combined with the apparent absence of any attractive Cambodian freelancers, means that my next side-trip will definitely be elsewhere, though, unless I decide to marry the GCG in the meantime.

The hostess bars are cool for a night or two, and granted I still didn’t make it to Le Cyrcee or Sophie’s, but I just don’t feel like a fourth trip would add much to my other Phnom Penh experiences, particularly since the truly attractive girls seem to be scarcer and scarcer on each trip. Or perhaps my tastes have become more and more picky over the years – this is the danger of living in Bangkok, after all…

So whither BBB? Perhaps to Vietnam itself, or to The Philippines, where I still haven’t been despite my best efforts. Jakarta sounds good from what little I’ve heard. Rangoon? Shanghai? Llandudno? Where next, guys?

35 thoughts on “The BARANG Drinks 2 Much – Part Two of Two

  1. well worth the wait, as usual. my favorite:

    “but missing by an angle that may actually have been obtuse”

    i second vietnam – ho chi minh city isn’t often discussed, but i doubt you’d be disappointed, especially after PP.

  2. Nice work BBB.

    I do feel vindicated a bit, I must say. After the drubbing I took from some — and the feeling that it was simply Songkran that made my trip less than thrilling — I found in Parts 1 and 2 here quite a bit of what I reported:

    – The viet girls are gone
    – Sharky’s was crap
    – Martini’s was worse
    – Shanghai had very pretty girls but were being tended to by Koreans

    I’m still wanting to do PP again, but I can see why you want greener pastures.

    You definitely need a few days in Angeles. I’ve done 3 trips there:

    33 hours — Too short
    10 days — Way too long
    4 days — Just right.

    Vietnam I want to see, but I think it’s pretty much the same P4P situation, or worse, than my trip to Sihanoukville. If you want nooky, go to AC.

  3. BBB: Cracking read and I am with you on the marked decline in quality in PP.
    The Ghost is right: it has to be Angeles for your next foray. The place is a filthy, third world shithole full of sleazy bars and dodgy farangs. You will feel instantly at home.

  4. bkk22 – I remember that ribbon story, too. Probably one of the most interesting experiences I’ve read in here and one very keen to try for myself.

    bbb – –“So, what do you want to do today?”, I asked. “I don’t know, up to you”, she replied. I hate Asian girls sometimes.–
    I know the feeling, my jap gf does the same thing. Cute, up to a point though

  5. Nice write-up, thanks for the info. I have been once before, however my farang wife (at the time) frowned upon the P4P scene.

    Goodbye Wife, Hello P4P

    (actually she is still my best friend, just no more handcuffs, for her or for me)

  6. Good write up, had one little honey ask me for a “C” note for a st talked her down to $40.00 and got pissed off with the BS. Told her to hit the bricks. After that, the night was a washout. Did the Sharky’s/Martini trick saw nothing of value. If this went belly up it might be an option but without the Viet’s, I don’t think so.

  7. Howie’s is good after 1:00 a.m. Before that it’s always crap.

    What makes you think she’s a good Cambodian girl? She works in a bar, and she stayed out with a white (pinkish, actually) guy alone until after midnight on the first date. In Cambodia, that’s a whore.

    I once got asked to the movies by a Shanghai hostess. I declined, because I feared spending hours in a sweltering hot theater surrounded by a bunch of Cambodian teenagers watching a crappy move I didn’t understand. Your description was just as a I imagined it, just with more cell phones.

  8. “I still didn’t make it to Le Cyrcee or Sophie’s”

    These were the only places in PP I even found worthwhile. Sophies, IMHO is one of the most memorable experiences a depraved Western monger can have in all of seAsia. It’s a must-do. It’s like living in BKK and never going to Lolitas (and Sophies in some ways ‘blows’ Lolitas away). You’re never the same again after a trip to Sophies, man!

    I humbly sugggest you should have STARTED with these, then worked your way down the list.
    However, that would have made for a much less entertaining yarn, for which I thank you, as I enjoyed reading this so much…

  9. Oh, forgot to mention…..

    Best story connected to Pontoon was the boat actually SUNK on New Year’s Eve last year. Now THAT’s a party.

    Guy I met there goes and says its good for picking up white girls. I passed.

  10. @bkk22: I remember it fondly: The Red Sash by Jack, for anyone who missed it first time around.

    @gavinmac: I have to be in bed by then. Regarding the GCG, I (intentionally) didn’t specify where she worked… She was a “good girl” because she wouldn’t have sex with me – is there any other definition?

    @AS: Okay, one more trip then…

    @PG: Picking up white girls? In the absence of JD, I would like to say “I like that” and also “that’s funny”.

    Vietnam seems to be the consensus, I will of course get to Angeles at some point as well. HCMC the city to hit in Vietnam?

  11. Sorry BBB, I just assumed that if she worked as a waitress in a place you frequent, she is a likely a slut.

    I feel like you are holding out a lot of good details about the 13 hour date with this girl. You went to a mall, did you end up shopping for her? What do you talk about with a Cambodian girl for 13 hours (well, eleven hours subtracting the movie)? When you cupped her boob, did she cup yours?

    Did she propose marriage? If you spent 13 hours with an impoverished Cambodian waitress and she didn’t propose marriage then you have no game at all.

  12. BBB —

    She was a “good girl” because she wouldn’t have sex with me – is there any other definition?

    Well, yeah, a pretty fucking obvious one!

    Oh, sorry, I forgot you’re Casanova with the man boobs.

  13. Jakarta. Everyone should try Stadium. Go there Friday lunchtime and you don’t leave until Tuesday. Very dark, very loud, very high.

  14. I will keep thinking that the only reason to go to PP is to get happy pizza.

    MSB – stadium is cool but can be a tad creepy at times…

  15. @MSB Stadium is the only place where I started seeing the walls melt after ingesting some shit or another. I also remember a gay waiter or hanger on hitting on me and then there’s a lost twelve hour period between that and me waking up next to ‘Yanti’ the next evening in my hotel room. Surreal.

  16. Sophies isn’t around any more, unless something changed since I was last in PP a couple months ago. Cyrcee is still around and definitely worth a visit.

    Sharkies has fewer Vietnamese in ’09 than it did on my first visit in ’04, but isn’t totally worthless for girls. I feel some of you are exaggerating just how bad it is.

  17. I last went to Cambodia around late 2007 and said never again right then. I couldn’t work out why guys were still pushing it. Without the Viets, it’s nothing (and they were gone even then). Pity, it was really something in 2001 and 2002.

  18. @gm: Lots of hand-holding and gazing into each others eyes. Also, there was a break between day-date and night-date where she went home to change, and to take the left-over pizza back to her mother. Marriage was not discussed.

    @PG: Ouch. I’ll have you know that my chest is the very definition of taut these days. Perhaps we need <sarcasm> tags for our American friends? I shall discuss this comment with you at tonight’s party 😉

    @MSB: Jakarta does sound interesting, but what is Stadium?

    @Bart: No exaggeration from me, I saw one Viet girl the whole trip, was there for 4 nights, and did a fair bit of exploring. Depends on your tastes, of course – I prefer pale, slim and pretty girls, ideally with boobs…

    @bibblies: There were Viet girls in Sharky’s and Martini’s as late as October ’08 (my last trip before this one). This trip, I only saw one.

  19. @BBB I saw around 8 Viets total at Sharky’s, and always at least 4 or so on any given night. One was quite aggressive and hard to not notice.

    I went to Walkabout once or twice and saw another aggressive but cute Viet there. Hard not to notice. I never went to Martinis.

    I guess it all depends when you’re there. I was there just before Khmer New Year (in April). Maybe the new year signals the beginning of the slow season, and the Viets go back home then?

  20. Glad some remembered The Red Sash, it belongs in every one of those “100 Things You Must Do Before You Die” books (but of course, won’t be mentioned). It was worth every last red Mao note I parted with.

    I did find another Red Sash place in a more southern part of China but the gal, while LOTS of fun, didn’t have the acrobatic skill to pull it off flawlessly (the Shanghai gal was flawless in several different and noteworthy areas). It turned out to be a more conventional, though thoroughly satisfying (and much less expensive) encounter.

    China has plenty of opportunities, but there are pitfalls. For starters, few girls speak ANY English, I mean not even cavewoman-simple “Name?”. It’s not geared toward neon bars serving tequila-shooters and nachos. It’s geared toward service for gentlemen who speak at least a little Putonghua, and unless you’re into karaoke, the soapies are the way to go.

    I’m curious about VN, hear conflicting reports. Agreed: the Phnom was incredible 2001-02, still great for years after that but nowadays, the KR have taken over the scene and the VN are very scarce.

    JtB

  21. @ bart: Vietnamese New Year (Tet) coincides with Chinese New Year on the lunar calendar, months before the Khmer/Thai New Year in mid-April.

    JtB

  22. @Bart: Yup, but seems that as of the Ghost’s trip there at Songkran there were no (or very very few) Viets.

    Perhaps it’s a seasonal migration thing, and a lot of them just go back to Vietnam for the low season?

    @Julian: Thanks, looks well worth a visit!

    @Jack: The Red Sash report was possibly the most pants-tightening article I’ve ever read on here. I can’t speak a word of any varieties of Chinese, but your report was so compelling that I would consider a trip purely for that one experience!

  23. Viet girls, lookswise, piss on both Cambodians and Thais. The girls in bars in HCM are typically cuter than in Thai bars and many fewer of them have had babies already.

    The trouble is that they’ve got a weird attitude. 20 girls will do anything to get you INTO the bar but, once you’re in, all but one will fuck off and leave you alone! None of the playfulness of the Thais. They’re often kind of annoying instead, not proactive and yet they’ll blame their “bad luck” for not having any customers! Get off your little arses and make them feel welcome then, honey! Why is a customer going to buy a drink for an annoying girl whose only conversation is “Buy me drink”?

  24. Was in PP early last year. A number of the locals recommended a place called Mikado. Never made it there myself because I had to spend 3 days sitting on the shitter (and another 3 in Thailand, don’t touch the ice!). If anyone is going, check it out and report back please.
    In my opinion Shanghai had by far the best looking girls. I, of course , hooked up with an absolute stunner who turned out to be the only girl in the place who wouldn’t sleep with customers as every other hostess in the place was quick to inform me.Had some fun with her though….

  25. Shanghai soapies have really developed over the years- taking the Thai style and putting their own spin on it. Most of the tarts I’ve “met” are from the NE, great look… Chinese helps- I had one wear the airline hostie outfit and we had a great time doing the role-play where I was the captain and was banging her in the cockpit while her husband was a passenger. That was a good day.

  26. “So, what do you want to do today?”, I asked.

    “I don’t know, up to you”, she replied.

    I hate Asian girls sometimes.

    I shit an egg from laughing so hard at this…

  27. First time comment/post
    Just a quick update on some of the places mentioned in PP, especially in the light of a recent crackdown on the Street 104/136 bar scene.
    Mikado, Sophie’s – both gone.
    Shanghai Bar – the majority of the girls do not go outside with customers. If you’re interested, ask early on to avoid disappointment later.
    Sharky’s – if you want your fill of freelancers on the frightening side of forty and flabby, you find them here! Slight exaggeration, but I reckon only 10% of the girls in this place worth a second look.
    What Viets there are (outside of low end places predominantly for the local clientele) are to be found in Walkabout and especially Martini. But those numbers have definitely declined over the last couple of years.
    The hostess bar scene generally- there has been a serious clamp down on these bars in the last month. Some have been forced to close (Cheerleaders for example), and in all the others (e.g. Bar 69, Bar 104 types) the operations have been completely toned down. No more skimpy outfits, no more dancing in/on the bars, no more tinted glass so everything inside now visible from outside. And no more bar fines. (Take out still available, but there is an air of caution about the place)
    Having said all of that, PP definitely still worth a visit for an extended weekend.
    Now who mentioned Jakarta? I’ll get me coat…………..

    • n – since PP was looking like there was no reason to go before – for sure there seems to be no reason at all

      besides happy pizza and “cheap” beer

      thanks for the update though. much appreciated

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