Pattaya in 12: Join in on the fun

Here’s how. Daywalker and Young Penfold are doing a Pattaya in 12 run this Sunday. They will each post a writeup next week about what they did 3:00pm-5:00pm and 5:00pm-7:00pm. For instance:

DW…Sat in XXX bar and some ugly pig came and sat next to us. She has bad teeth, but we still bought her a drink.
YP…Sat in XXX bar and some stunning gorgeous chick sat next to us. Wait, I think she’s a chick?

They will be spending at least 1000 baht per hour, and will be bringing a Camera.

Here’s how you can join in on the fun. Post a comment here with any bars you would like them to visit, or if you want them to provide any Pattaya-related updates. For instance, “Can you visit Lolita’s and tell us what the lineup looks like?” or “Check out Hi Boss Bar on Soi 6 and have YP drop his pants and dance on the bar” or “Smack a Beach Road Tailor Tout in the nuts and run away like your Forrest Gump”.

Not sure they will honor every request, it’s not like they have to or are getting paid, but maybe.

Anyway, they will write up their experiences and we can all have a good laugh, or cry.

Playing cost you nothing, so get your comments in and see what happens.

Crazy Bastards!

60 thoughts on “Pattaya in 12: Join in on the fun

  1. Can YP and DW attempt to not get their hole on this trip? As in… no pussy. And they must go round telling everyone they are eunuchs (phom bpen kon kan-tii …. rising tone on kan) and speak in ridiculously high, castrati voices. That’d be savage

  2. Bang a male Caucausian tourist while dressed up as a lady with a really stupid wig!
    Tell everyone your Mel Gibson’s cousin and call EVERY girl ‘sugar tits’!
    Bang each other!
    Finger a girl from every bar on Soi 6 (but no sex)!
    Bang a girl with no teeth!
    Get a blowjob while taking a shit (etiquette requires you wipe sitting down)!
    Wear a go go shoal/bra with number attached and cut offs and prance around walking street like a prick!
    Bang Film in Iron bar!
    Bang a deaf girl!
    Have a relaxing evening away from the seediness!
    Murder a pigeon!

  3. I would like these two obnoxiously drunk (which shouldnt be an issue) arriving in Lucifer’s @ 12:30am…I would like a run-down on how many times each has their package grabbed and how many tart asses they rub.

    Thanks…you guys are the bestest

  4. Well they should start the trip by stealing a taxi from a tout in bangkok and driving to Pattaya. Then pulling directly onto walking street at high speed tearing through the tourist police table and have at least 2 LB’s hanging onto the wiper blades for dear life before they get to the other end. Park it, and start the night there…

  5. I challenge the dynamic duo to obtain a packing crate, nail in a pair of rampant slappers and mail it to me at the below address….
    P.S. put a bit of food in there too – necrophilia is not really my thing.

    **Name and address supplied**

  6. Bang a deaf girl….. too easy. Done it.

    This has the opportunity of turning into Urban Sports.

    Try to get down Soi 6 without being seen by any bargirls. 1 point off for every time they shout out “I like bald man” etc.

    Rent a scooter and ride naked down beach road. 10 Points for every 20 metres you get without being stopped by the local filth. You officially start at The Amari and you officially finish with a night behind bars, no underwear and sharing a cell with 3 Alpha Shemales.

    See how many Russians, Indians, Bargirls you can get into a Songtaew. 1 Points for every punter that gets on.

    Start body-popping, break dancing, doing the robot in the middle of Walking Street and see how much of a crowd you can get. 1 point for every rubber necker that stands and open mouth breaths at your antics. 1 additional point if you can get any money out of them at the end of your show.

    I really like the idea of “Smack a Beach Road Tailor Tout in the nuts and run away like your Forrest Gump”. Do it precisely when he puts his hand out and say ‘awaight maaate’ in a broad cockney accent. Bollock slap and out. 10 points for each one, an additional 50 points for a complete set of tailors with sore bollocks in one beach road block.

    Finally, do everything that Barfine Warrior said.

  7. 1 2 beers per hour/per man/per day
    2 3somes with some ladyboys
    3 yeager boms every hour
    4 bigmacs at 300 am
    5 min of argueing with a toot toot driver(with the 6 ladyboys in tow)
    6 rounds in bed each-buy lots of tablets
    7 min recouvery between rounds
    8 tell the ladyboys you have no money
    9 run
    10 safe in bkk

  8. Our intrepid heros should both don cheap suits, shirt and tie, for the duration of the fiasco. Sandals with socks will be de riguer.

    The suits can be readily purchased from any good indian tailor..but they should be garish in colour, shiny and tacky. Because tonight matthew, we’re going to be english teachers in pattaya…and we’ll be acting like cunts.

    False taches and cs spray accessories are optional.

    HQ Out.

  9. YP and DW: Go to Windmill and find the prettiest chick there (which is hard) and bring your OWN bananas to the bar and ask her to peel it and you use it with her. This is what they do there normally so nothing special, just that u have to find the prettiest chick on stage or on the floor and then do it.

  10. Sorry chaps, but I will pull rank on YP if he starts getting doing his LB shit.

    Some good suggestions there.

    Its Pattaya in 12, so we should be there after lunch and back to the Mango HQ for closing. Which is probably a good thing.

    We will be sending TWEETS maybe.

  11. I’ve been with YP at Tilac Bar and had a quite candid conversation with him while he was openly fingerbanging a bargirl in her ass while we were standing at one of those podiums. Surreal just thinking about it. The fact she was a chick and not a Lima Bravo, that was the surreal part.

  12. Salty says:
    July 30, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    How about a photo of DW applying the suds to a naked YP in the jacuzzi at the Iron Club.

    winner winner chicken dinner!

  13. Would I go to hell, if I offered (with DWs cash) 10,000baht, for a tart to shave her head? Also, is there any law that would get us in shit, for riding a motosai into the sea?

  14. Hey, leave me out of your little role playing fantasies. We all know how this is going to end up, A Revolving London Bridge. The only question, who or what will be the third.

    BTW, what does “a bit of a bike” mean anyway? Is that Birmy talk?

  15. I’ve heard the phrase “The Village Bicycle.” Typically used to infer that everyone gets their turn to ride…..

  16. my bet is that one or both of them will be unable to crawl out of bed early enough to leave at noon, and the program will change to PATTAYA in 9 which doesn’t have the same ring to it!

  17. THey got here late — 5 ish — and are still on Soi 6 as of 9 pm. DW was slurring his words a bit on the phone.

  18. GOLF…..

    Completely away from this post but does any reader regularly play golf in the Bangkok area. I am over for three weeks in Sept and want to fit in a few rounds. Anyone got any ideas, suggestions or experiences that will help. Particularly if you fancy a game. My handicap is 14.

  19. Gents,

    You’re all a bunch of sick bastards.

    We left for Pattaya around 2pm…. and arrived back at in Bangkok this morning at 6am,

    We managed to get through a lot of the list. We couldn’t do it all, as there wasn’t enough time.. (and I am not gay)

    A write up will come later. YP has gone home to sleep.

    The post will include…. LB’s, wearing underwear in the street, break dancing, suds, naked, arse eating and a big mac.

    My phone died around 10pm, so I was unable to keep track of everything (i was keeping notes on it)

    Back soon…..

  20. YP is on his way to the bar now………

    I think we may have a “soi 8 in 30mins”… as we were so busy taking care of the ‘list’ that we never got to take care of ourselves.

    Nuts the size of footballs.

  21. chelsea blue, I suggest playing at Panya Indra. About 30 mins away from Sukhumvit. Brilliant course and amazing club house with very good food.

  22. for all you resident experts. On our recent trip a mate barfined a girl from Soi33 and she was damn hot.
    I recently got in touch and asked her if she would stay with me in the hotel for a week when we go back later this year and i said i would give her 2500 bht per day to which she agreed (so no bar fines and ready for action as and when needed).
    Is that a good deal or not. Could do with some guidance on this!!!!!

  23. This could be considered a very good deal. Long-time is usually 2-3k and the barfines on soi33 can be 1000+, so the math is in your favor. If she’s hot, icing on the cake.

  24. YP get your ass out of bed and write this post up! (Can you include american translations for those weird words you use….)

    Thanks in advance!

  25. ChelseaBlue if you make it to Pattaya check out 18 coins. Its a cheap little hotel that is all about golf. Its on Soi Buakho so dont expect the Ritz!

  26. @Will – I second pmmp here, its a very reasonable deal. Soi 33 commands higher tariffs….but, are you sure you want to make it a week? Could get problematic for multiple reasons. She holds out on you on day 2, you want to claw some back on day 3 but then you see THAT girl while youre out and about in Man Heaven….hmmm

    I’d draw up a 3 day contract with options….

  27. degasman, yes we all know the about the economy, so please tell me what would you do to have a beauty stay with you for a week and have on tap for morning noon and night pleasure. I would day she is 8 to 9 out of 10. Perfect soft white skin, good pair of fronts – all real and a good back side and boy can she dance. Put it this way when we were at a club lst time a couple of dudes tried to hit on her.
    Bar fines on soi 33 range from 1500 to 1600 and LT around 3000.
    So i dont think its a bad i am getting do you? what would you say it should be for a deal.

  28. Will – why bang one when you can bang ehh many? Just tell her youll meet the once, and if she really fits the bill then extend it. does that 2500 include food, hotel, drinks, johnnies, mobile phone, car, buffalo, friends drinks, friends of friends drinks, taxis, buying her nice sweet nothings, wedding ring.. just kiddin. ah hell go for it, waht do i know

  29. Barfine Warrior – i did bang her on the last trip whilst i was with another one and therefore know what i will get.
    She has met my friends regular girl who also stays with him when we go to BK and thats why she is keen as she wants to become a regular for me.
    So no need to worry about friends, neighbours and the next town folks turning up for freebies. I am just looking at the daily cost of 2500 to bang a girl when i want. Variety is good but a pain and who the hell wants to pay BFof 1500 to 1600 + 3k for LT. Thats madness.

  30. Will…we all got to bang her on your last trip. However, all very interesting as that is, how did yp and dw get on taking turns on ladyboy tarrifs?

    I’ll be intrigued to hear how yp finally persuaded dw to swallow his “pride”..

  31. I am at Mango HQ at the moment typing like a demon…. trying to make sense of it all.

    There will be the mention of LB’s. YP did convince me that LB’s… deep down are human after all. I did wield an ashtray incase.. but all in all… it wasn’t as scary as I thought.

    I still refuse to have someones dick in my arse though… or vice-versa

    By the way… how do you refer to them? Do you say “would you fellas like a drink”? or “would you girls like a drink”?

  32. HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhaaaaaaaa,I’ve had a few cool one’s here in the north west tnite mind ya,but——-
    @ DW,I’d be in anything but a bloke’s ass….
    and,I’d rather be the pitcher as opposed to the catcher…..each to his own!!!

  33. o.k… ir’s 04:30….. I just left Nana Liquid and I cant stop thinking about this subject…..
    I’d ask ChelseaBlue if it’d be considered gay to even talk to a Lima Brava… but since he married one, I think his answer would be slightly bias.

    I am STILL writing all this shit up… looking over it, some of it seems quite boring. But, it’s what went on so it’ll stay in the post.

    One thing for the audience though… should one (a dude that is) shave his nether region? Or is that just gay? Please let me now your thoughts… as I may need to change my narrative……

  34. Shaving around yer todger is about as gay as it gets. You might as well get your nipples pierced and then take one up the jacksey from an LB if you start on that malarkey. Nothing wrong with all that, of course.

    Looking forward as I am to the forthcoming report, on the next Pattaya trip you chaps should take it to an entirely different level. Let’s have DW in a wig, YP in a skirt, with the former pimping out the latter.

  35. Re: Shaving….

    I’ve had ladies in the beautiful city of pattaya request it and love and I’ve had a few laugh at it and say i looked like a ladyboy…

    I’ve asked a bunch what percent do it and its higher than you think. Some quote 50%. Old punters included….

  36. Shaving/trimming sack & crack is not too gay. Waxing said areas is.

    Wouldn’t normally be too fastidious about either, but on a whoring trip it makes perfect sense if you want the girls (& boys?!) to spend a bit of time down there.

  37. “Manscaping” is actually what is gay. For example, combining waxed balls, back & chest with a thousand sit ups a day, spray on tan, regular gym sessions would be very camp indeed.

    Doubt that too many here fit that description, mind 😉

  38. short back and sides around the nads? Fine in my opinion.

    Where the f@!k is the graphic Pattaya account? I feel this personal grooming topic is really detracting from the initial mission…

  39. No shit ST. There is a UFC fight tomorrow too… If YP does a write up for that and no Pattaya at 5:20…..

    Or was it Daywalker who was writing it up?

    Either way…. Lets hear it! 🙂

  40. The report is coming….. trust me… it aint easy piecing it all together. For starters YP can’t remember what day we went… let alone what bars he was naked in. It’s all typed up in draft, I just need to add some pics and delete anything that will get us arrested.

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