Cowboy Bar Crawl – Part 2 by Drunkwalker

Part 1

Time to cross the road. It’s 22:45. We’re all on the way to getting drunk. Some of us have passed that stage, and some of us are no longer in the convoy. C-Man is has a harem of girls hanging around him. Laitchiedog was quiet, WOM looks like he’s just had a shower and re-dressed, Pete flexing his biceps at some girls, Mike had already gone to another bar to make sure it’s safe for us, nR is nowhere to be found , Bubba is marching me to the next bar and PRP is telling his pal how not to get drunk. Pity he never followed his own advice.
1st bar (next to Old Dutch) is an Arab bar….

22:46 Rio. There are some pretty hot girls in here. I guess the Arab pays more for pretty girls. He has a quite a few. There were more girls outside Rio than inside for some reason? Drinks were expensive, but worth paying a little extra if you are in the company of hot chics.

23:00 Cockatoo – What we were all dreading (or maybe looking forward to). PRP was (and this is a well known medical term) ‘cunted’ by now. All farts and giggles as we entered the Dude House. Bubba and I went to the back of the room and pretended to be in deep conversation about the meaning of life. PRP meanwhile set about fondling a big set of silicons. It wasn’t big, and it wasn’t clever.
For some reason… cockatoo was one of the bars we spent the most time in!!?

23:30 Sahara. Arab bar. Pun intended.. it was deserted. Many girls outside though. Drink and out.

23:50 Moonshine. – and this is where the drink starts to take it’s toll on our note taking. I have a report saying there were no girls around and then I see on my iPhone that it says ‘friendly’. I can only assume I must have spoken to the only girl there and she must have been friendly as she was the only one?

00:25 – Jungle Jims – A few girls.. attractive and friendly. Worth going back

00:40 – Suzi Wong – Plenty of nude girls. Some with a so-so attitude and some who were only too happy to slap your face with their boobies! We spent a fair bit of time there!

01:15 – Cowboy 2. No idea.. no notes.. no memory!

This is why my notes are not to be taken seriously

01:40 – Dundee. All I have recorded is ‘moose’. Which means the girls are less than attractive.

02:00 Cactus – Again.. notes (booze) failed us. No comments. Although I think this was the bar that when we stumbled through the door, Mike was already finishing his drink.. once again, keeping one step ahead of us all.

02:16 Long Gun… getting pretty wasted by now. Not many girls around and the ones that were in there, had no intention of talking with a bunch of drunken dicks like us. All except WOM, who looked fresh, like he just came out.

02:30 Cocktail Club. I think someone threw up. It may have been me?

02:45 Rawhide – Pretty much empty. Allowed us to order drinks whilst music was turned down and girls were putting on their civvey costumes.

03:00 Penny Black – As we approached the door, Mike was coming out. The woman on the door said it was closed. This was not what we wanted to hear. Various insults followed, with demands to talk to the owners and threats of buying the bar and sacking the woman may have taken place. We stood there long enough that we could have had a drink.

03:10 – Corner Bar . Heaving!  This place is open until the early hours of the morning, so I guess all the drunken fools end up here after kicking out time in Cowboy.

We may have lost track of each other on the final leg of the challenge, but those that were still standing, were standing in The Corner Bar. I was pretty wasted by this time – so forgive me if my accounts are not quite accurate.

Bubba didn’t look too drunk.  Damn.  Why not?  Was he secretly drinking Pepsi shots instead of Jeager?

WOM was chatting up the Mamasan.  And when I say ‘chatting up’ I mean he had a fill on Alien face suction thing going on.

Mike was standing around, surveying the place. Looking for any threats of danger. – there wasn’t.

This was the 1st time I had a chance to have chat with C-Man. Time for a drink. Out of the 45k that I brought out with me, I was down to 100bht. I rooted around in my pockets, only to produce 4 pairs of cheap perfume stinking undies. Girls undies. Where the fuck did they come from? Offering them up to C-Man as a gift of some sort, C-Man plunge his hands into his pockets and produced 17 pairs of shit-catchers. How? Why? What on earth was he (my collection was insignificant) doing to collect all of these? I didn’t even know it was a competition?

C-man had a couple of cute girls in tow – and was looking to party. After stuffing all the undies back in his pocket, he introduced me. Looking the opposite of what WOM was looking like, I can only imagine their disgust. I needed a drink. I was out of cash. VOM bought me a drink. Oh the shame. Is this what my life has come to? Having to ask people for a drink as I am penniless.? I was not happy with myself.

Being on a drunken high, I didn’t want the night to end. C-Man had some party of sorts in the making. I was skint. No worries, PRP was here somewhere and would surely spot me 10k. Or so I thought. Looking around he was nowhere to be seen. More disturbingly, he still had my phone as he wanted to call his gf earlier and beg her not to lock him out of his condo.  Worst still, he was more shit faced than me. He couldn’t have gone far, so I made my excuses to C-man and looked outside for PRP. No sign. I ran to the end of cowboy but I was too late. PRP had gone. No worries, I can catch him at his crib which is 5 mins away. I hopped on a bike and told him where to go. Within a few minutes I was outside his condo asking the security to let me in. They were having none of it. I asked them to call him, but they said they didn’t have his number. Fuckers.

With my last 60bht, I flagged down a bike and headed home. No money.. no party and no phone.

Next day…..

I called up MY phone to hear PRP sounding like he was in pain. I needed my phone. I arranged to go see him in an hour.

When I arrived at his place, he was a mess. Laying on his sofa and feeling sorry for himself. Covered in bruises, he went on to tell me he had no recollection of getting home and no idea why he was covered in bruises. I took my phone, saw many..many messages for C-Man with pictures of him with girls.   Defeated, I went home to bed.

PRP doesn’t know where his bruises came from?

What happened to PRP? Where did the bruises come from? And where the hell did his shirt go – that was missing when he woke up in the corridor outside his condo?

What did we learn from all this?



In the next installment I have made a little summary and noted some observations. Playtime is over.

16 thoughts on “Cowboy Bar Crawl – Part 2 by Drunkwalker

  1. I had some k’s left if you’d have asked..but all u wanted was a drink, so I took it home where she decided in the morning to go shopping and relieved me of it whilst sleeping.
    She did call later to tell me so I wouldn’t think it was nicked.
    Kind of her to think of me.
    Would have been better for me if you had asked. At least I would have received it back.
    From her, not even a thank you. Gone.

  2. Ha. Brilliant.

    Thanks for the kind offer. – but I’d consider it too cheeky to have asked.

    Besides, it’s taught me a valuable lesson. Never go out on the piss with less than 50k.

  3. At the top end of Cockatoo (i.e. by the exit …obviously) the casual observer (and lets face it, we were trying to avoid looking at the stage) looking down into the depths of the bar were treated to the site of Daywalker nursing a baby …. comments flew – what is DW doing with a baby? … who the fuck thinks its a good idea to give DW a baby to hold? … etc etc. It wasn’t till much later that the object was identified as a big teddy bear … still, DW’s desire for parenthood was all too evident … he was probably in the wrong bar for that …

  4. judging by the sloth pace and numerous order errors it became clear we were not going to complete this challenge before 2pm if things continued as such. Paul and paired up at that little bar beside Country Road. My agenda was to complete the mission and get back to the plaza to claim my prize before the night swept her away, again! Paul and I split midway through each round and one of us stuck behind to settle the bin while the other tagged along with Mike and ordered ahead. We soon passed everybody and at Bacarra we were on a good pace to finish well before 1:30am…But we had a few delays in Suzy’s and I believe it was Cactus and what ever the bar is that’s next to long Gun was my final since the clock was now chiming 1:40am and I wasn’t about to miss my girl tonight!
    All and all vodka redbull served me well and would have been able to finish quite grace fully had I thought to plan ahead better and have my girl just meet me at Cowboy? Bummer to not have been in everyones company the whole time, that’s the fun of it and taking the mission objective too seriously I missed out! Next time will be better! Perhaps in Nov. in Tim’s honor can take here out with the boyz for a “high lights” summary Cowboy crawl? I know she would be touched by the gesture…

    • There will be no ‘touching’ of Tim. That’s just wrong.

      Why don’t you just marry your girl? She is obviously fucking up all plans you have. Blimey, you were racing to get back to the ‘wife’ – even though (and lets be honest) you’d be in no fit state to do anything!!

      Breaking away from the lads to go see the gf/wife/hired help is cold. VERY COLD. At least WOM had the decency to chloroform his missus before he went out.. leaving him to get on with the nights activities with a clear conscience!

  5. Tim was nice enough to sit next to me in AW while I fondled the breast of a young Issan princess who quoted a silly price for ST. But I didn’t touch her I swear.

    This report is much better than the first one – 45K DW ! I sure hope some LB picked your pocket while you were in Cockatoo and you didn’t blow that all on piss! And yes, cunted is the official term now.

    @nR – you are developing an unhealthy relationship with Tim and an intervention might be forthcoming. VRB is indeed a good drink and will have you believing you can BASE jump of cliffs without the aid of a parachute at some stage during the night.

    @C-Man – well done on the knicker collection ; I do hope you put them in your humidor alongside the Cohiba’s

    @et-al Well Done boys ; a challenge met!!

    • C-Mans collection will be on display in the party room of the Mango… with a plaque (A4 bit of paper) commemorating the Cowboy Crawl of September 2012.
      By that time, all the smell of cheap perfume would have been sniffed off the crothes by various scallywags.

      50k is about right for a night out. Used to be more until I ditched the freeloaders.

      What is it with nR and Tim? I think he likes her ‘too much’ 😉

  6. @ DW; sorry mate, I’ve embarrassed you once more, am I that smitten by her little charms? I doubt she likes me enough had I dared ask for her hand, hell I felt lucky just to get an occasional SMS reply there for awhile! My only real defense is a bit of a cliche but “this ones just right” per goldy locks is a fitting simile. Compounded by the supply (her) and demand (me and many others) I was protecting a sound investment. Do recall that falling out period and the dry patch through the middle of this trip, it sucked! Not only did I blow a shit load of cash for the hunt, I was miserably disappointed with the results! Was with C-man at a neighboring gog when I finally got the big SMS, he was very supportive and happy for me!

    As far as my friendship to miss tim, she’s become a good mate! Best looking mate I have currently! She’s the kinda girls that knows all the shit on you, sees first hand what your upto and still treats as a loving sister! How do you not adore her, as one of both of our friends put it, “if a gun was to my head and I had to pick one woman to marry, she would be mine!” I think that sums it up fairly well, Don’t you?
    I’m still hoping for another big quake that washes away the south down to about Antarctica, before Nov. of course…But its no secret I still believe in fairy tales and happily ever after. Or maybe I should just lay off those little thingies? 🙂

  7. U forgot the outside poledancer that i barfined on the first side and brought with us almost to the end and got shitfaced drunk since we all insisted she had to follow our tempo with drinks….

    and u missed out on the argument i had with her mamasan when i returned her and she couldnt even stand up straight and was suppossed to dance the last hour on the outside of the bar on the pole…… really funny with a shit-angry mamasan 😉

    just a note on the panties…. well the girls just thought its was fun to give them to me, wasnt planned at all…. it was more like, the more panties i got the more other girls wanted to chip in 😉 and a little smile and wink helped too 😉

    • Thats’ outrageous! I don’t remember that… although I think I recall others talking about it.

      You clearly have issues and little or no respect for women.

      You are my hero.

  8. and now i just got confirmation that i got relief coming to my cold country….

    the other non bargirl girl is adding 2 weeks to her business trip to europe and comes and give me little thailove in my home…..

    i love girls with their own business and means to do the reverse flight to me 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *