The November Kick-off… by Graham

Greeting folks….

Thai’s being.. well, Thai have a funny way of pronouncing certain letters and words. R’s are L’s, L’s are R’s and V’s are W’s. I have a bet with Miss Tim that if she can (correctly) pronounce ‘Dwarf driving a Range Rover’ – then I shall buy her one. I think this is a safe bet. Just aswell, as I don’t know where I can buy a Dwarf.

So I did chuckle when Miss Tim mentioned that it was soon time for me to hang out with the ‘Rats’. At first I thought she was being disrespectful of my comrades, calling them vermin. Then I realized that ‘rats’ is indeed ‘lads’. I then also realized that ‘rats’ is actually a better word to describe the lads that turned out on November the 1st.

The usual reliable rats were there of course, but the people who had made a big fuss of something being organized were notably absent. Never mind.

The kick off was to be at 4pm at Mullys but with all the excitement Miss Tim and I thought we’d get a head start on the Rats so arrived an hour earlier. It wasn’t early enough though as a couple of the Rats were already at the bar supping on beer. Nicely done!

Rainman, Jonas, Miss Tim and myself had a few drinks and waiting for the official 4pm start time when we could cash in on DebtStars round of drinks he PayPal’d to us.

Gamblin Man arrived just before 4 WITHOUT a girl. An unusual site I must ad.

With the amount of booze flowing, we thought it best to imbibe in a snack or two so as not to pass out before 8pm. A selection of food was ordered up and we all chowed down. I do like the food at Mullys.

With only 5 of us at the starting line as others were either held up at work or just plainly minced out, we decided on scrapping RCA Karting and headed to more bars in the area. After all, we didn’t want to spend valuable drinking hours in the back of a taxi.

Plus, we thought it a little bit irresponsible to drink and drive at that time of the day.

With Karting knocked on the head and the bill ordered, Miss Tim was already out the door heading for the shops muttering something about us (or her) having a good time.

We wanted to drink.. so headed to a bar recommended by Gamblin Man on soi 15. I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s pretty nice inside. A wine bar feel to it. There were bottles on shelves 30 feet high. Out of my reach. But then they would be at 6 feet.

Staff were very nice and polite. I’ve never been there before and would go back there again if I were not on a drinking mission. We had a feeling we were undesirables in there. Having said that, Jonas did spot an ex-mango customer who was always complaining about the prices, talking with the Manager and pointing at the menu! No doubt he was complaining about the price of his happy hour beer. It’s sooo good to be the other side of the bar now.

After a few in there we headed to Cowboy. It was only 6pm but there are a few outdoor bars so we thought we’d hit them. Shadow bar was the 1st. I like sitting here as it’s right on the street and I can see everyone that goes past. It just so happens that I was in the mood (and perfect spot) to pounce on certain people that have ‘wronged’ me in the past. I sent an SMS to Bubba telling him we’re at Cowboy. He replied that had I have told him earlier, he’d have been there! I replied that had he have read his e-mails or the blog – then he’d know the skinny. 1-0 to me.

One thing that pisses me off with almost every bar I go in, is the inability to WRITE the orders down. It’s not hard. Why is it these girls THINK they can remember 3 or 4 drinks when clearly they can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been to bars where the Bar man/Waiter could take an order of 10 drinks and get them all right. But go to Nana/Cowboy and order more than 3 drinks, she’ll come back to you and ask what you wanted. Maybe more than once. I can understand that certain girls are not there primarily as waitresses, so don’t have the skills to serve drinks. SO JUST GET A PAD!

By the time it was 7pm, we were already on the way to a place called ‘twatted’. We tried to stay out of the main bars (Baccara, Tilac..etc..) and instead see what was going on in the smaller bars.

Not a lot if I am honest! Some were pretty dismal, some were not as good as that. In one bar we sat down and the talked among ourselves. I can’t remember what the conversation was but the barmaid cracked a joke that we thought to be funny enough to buy her a drink. This was when another (old) bint came up and sat next to Jonas and came out with the usual ‘one dink for me’. And with that, we decided to check-bin. Sorry, but we’re just not playing their games. Had the old trout not been so pushy, she may have been given a drink, but certainly not when they try and bully you into it. Cow.

Several bars were visited and a pattern was developing. We noticed that Gamblin Man seem to know a lot of girls in a lot of bars. It seems that girls these days prefer good guys to bad guys. Having said that, the name Jonas was being shouted out in most bars too!

Not sure what bar was next.. I do remember that Gamblin Man showed me a bill in his bin for 200 for a lady drink. He was not impressed. I was tempted to take him into Midnight bar where the girl always orders a Tequila and Coke. Which is 2 drinks!! Bitches.

At this point we were joined by CTG. He looked like he had been in training to drink more booze than Cowboy had to offer. I’ve only ever seen one man match his drinking. And Rainman was still standing.

I know I’ve said it before, (and I believe that Stickman is kind of at the same opinion), but Cowboy is just not much fun anymore. Is it the girls? Is it the prices? Is it the people that are surrounding us? I think it’s a mixture of all of them.

Not sure what the time was or where we were, but we met up with one of the other chaps who was in the gang. As he was with his girlfriend, he couldn’t let his hair down. Not that he has any hair. More drinking followed.

I’d like to recount where we went and what we got upto, but if I am honest, I really don’t remember. I do remember that there was no bar that we wanted to stay in longer than it took to down a drink. I can recall a lot of time spent standing outside in the street having conversations such as ‘where next’?

The girls were not too friendly, the drinks were over-priced and there was no ‘fun’ atmosphere in the air. Having said that, we made our own. Time was getting on and we were all shit-faced. Apart from CTG & Rainman.

Trying to keep track of who’s round it is when drunk really is not too easy. I do remember us all pitching up at a bar and ordering a drink – only to be given 5 separate bins. The comment “it’s o.k, one bin is fine, we’re not English teachers” did result in the girls breaking out into laughter. After we’d done drinking there, we woke Jonas up and headed to the next bar.

This is where things get really blurry. Sitting at a back seat somewhere I thought it best to take Jonas outside and let him try and walk himself sober. I am not sure why I thought letting him walk down the road in similar fashion to a snake would sober him up, but then I was pissed too.

We never made it back to the bar. The Rats were a distant memory. I think we ended up on some grotty street bar for a much needed bottle of water. After some refreshment, we staggered off down the road, only to be approached by a very tall person, big hands, big feet, gruff voice, lipstick.. it was Rainman. He was filled to the brim with booze too and was heading back to base.

CTG was on a mission to get messy. GamblinMan had to spend some quality time with his girl that he just met and Baldy Pete had an appointment for his girlfriend to walk over him in high-heeled shoes. His high-heeled shoes I might add.

The next day was not a good one.

Suffering badly with a hangover and Miss Tim harping on about some shoe sale that is only on for the next three hours, we headed to T21 to make a sound investment.

After a little shopping we headed back to Mullys for some sober eating.

I’ve said many times that the food in Mullys is good. Very good. So after drooling over the menu Miss Tim ordered half a lamb and I ordered some beef thing. I call it ‘thing’ as looked good in the picture but I had no idea how to pronounce it so just pointed at in to the waitresses. An appetizer of some sort and some drinks. How hard can it be?

The appetizer came and went, then Miss Tims Lamb was fork-lifted onto her plate. No beef ‘thing’ for me. Not a problem as it looked so good that they obviously needed some specialists to come in and help them.

More minutes passed and I was getting a little annoyed. I asked a passing waitress where my food was and she looked at me like I was some kind of idiot.

She insisted that I didn’t order any such thing. Looking at the table with my knife and fork surrounding an empty space I pushed back and said ‘yes I did, I pointed at it on the menu’. She then broke into Thai, addressing Miss Tim. Miss Tim says she just asked if I’d like to RE-order but I am sure she was saying ‘who the fuck does this Farang think he is, questioning my waiting abilities’?

I said not to bother as Miss Tims dish was now looking like an extra from the Walking Dead. Time was running out. So I just taught them a lesson by sitting there sulking.

Now here is what I don’t understand…. when the bill came, the beef thing was on the bill, but the lamb dish wasn’t?!! How? If I had never ordered it, then how could it appear on a bill? This made me more angry and wanted to confront the girl. That was when Miss Tim pointed out that the lamb was double the price of the beef – so we were better off. And as it was Miss Tims turn to pay for lunch, she had a double score.

Tim paid, no tip, we left, I sulked some more.

The November to Remember had not started out as a complete success yet, as I couldn’t remember much of what happened.

I am not saying it was a disaster… in fact, if I could print a lot of the stuff that went on, then this would be a different tale, but only those that were there get to enjoy the memories and laughs.

As I loaded up the car with shoe boxes, we got in the car and drove home to HH and I made a vow to return the next week.

There is some fun out there somewhere. I just have to try harder…

Coming up next –

The storm
The Rats
Too Easy Bar
No Idea Bar
Soi 22 Corner Bar
MC Hammer
Queens Park Plaza
Pretty Lady (Spellbound)
Anglewitch
Billboard
Vomiting
Argentinian Steak House

11 thoughts on “The November Kick-off… by Graham

  1. Graham I am surprised that you have not learned this but among the Thai’s the Brits and farang generally do not rate. Even if you spoke Thai perfectly you would not. But Miss Tim does. Have her order and write down what was ordered where the waitress can see it. Then if she does not deliver the goods she “loses face” to another Thai. It will fix that problem permanently.
    I am in HCMC from November 22nd for the next two weeks. Send me the gang’s itinerary and I might just pop over. But to BKK and not HH.

    • Elgee…. I’m afraid I fall into the category of ‘I want to believe’ (x-files).

      Really, how hard can it be to remember a few dishes?

      As for the troops…. Where the fook are they now?

      I do recommend hanging out with GamblingMan. They seems to have ‘hot’ girls everywhere he goes?!!!

      • He said ‘borrow’ – it isn’t a paying role.

        C.M – About bloody time! However, I am out of the country at the moment. How long you around for? Months?

        Anyone been to the Pattaya dirt bikes place?

        • yeah im here until end of february…. so just let me know when… and im up for any actionsport…

          besides… middle february is Race of Champions.. anybody planning to go?

    • rayyar – sorry old bean.. I can’t find it!! It must not have been in the pile that was migrated over from the Big Mango. I have your ATV piece but not the dirt bikes.

      Refresh my memory. Was it good?!

  2. Nice G, still chuckle when I think back on the night, good fun, and that wasn’t lipstick, it was two liters of Red Bull… and you forgot to mention after ordering two Subways you didn’t have enough cash lmfao, it was the end of the night though.
    Still wondering who I gave my boxer shorts too… oi, hang on, never mind 🙂

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