Heading to Bangkok, I stopped off in Dubai for a few days to catch up with some pals and go for Dubai tradition known as the Friday Brunch. Basically all you can eat and drink for 4 hours. It’s costs around 10k which isn’t too bad at all in Dubai. The more you eat/drink, the better the value it is.
I got wasted. Badly. I’d been away for a month – so was out of practice. Saturday morning I was on the plane to Bangkok and if I am honest – I had felt better.
The plan was to sleep on the plane, get fully refreshed and then hit the town when I arrived.
That plan went to shit when some horrible little fucking Arab kid was being a total pain in the arse on the flight. He was shouting in his weird American accent to his sister (who was mostly ignoring him) telling her how to raise and lower the window blinds, or how to open up the table, or select movies. He was a total little shit and his parents didn’t bat an eyelid. Even though all lights were dimmed and everyone was trying to sleep – the little shit just wouldn’t shut the fuck up. I should have upped and moved I know, but I was just hoping at any moment he’d either turn his attention to a movie or maybe stick his tongue in a power socket. I was hoping to see them at the airport when we landed – so I could call them a bunch of ignorant twats but I didn’t see them. Of course, I’d never say that to them while we’re on an Emirates plane – flying over the Emirates. I am not stupid!
Into Bangkok – no traffic. The Chauffer was there to meet me and took my case to the waiting Benz. Cold towel and water waiting for me. Great. This is how it should be.
Less than 30 mins I arrived at the Landmark. Signed my name and was taken to my suite. Great.
After unpacking and having a quick shower, things turned a little sour. I wasn’t feeling so good. In fact, I started feeling quite bad.
It was almost midnight, so decided against going out. Instead, I’ll recharge my batteries – ready for the next day (Sunday). I had people to meet up with, so wanted to be ready.
From 4am onwards I was sick. Proper sick. Bits of stomach lining, shit, snot, blood and 25 year old bubble gum exited my body for the next 6 hours. The most sleep I got was a few hours on the bathroom floor – laying in my own puddle of tears.
As daylight was breaking through the windows, I hit the ‘do not disturb’ button on the little Control Panel by the bed. Very convenient that. And off I dozed.
Now, when I light up the ‘do not disturb’… I expect whoever the fuck it is on the other side of the door to see that light and well…. No disturb me. But oh no, the Gods of kindness were on a break. Instead, housekeeping rang the doorbell. I was too weak to shout out ‘foook off’. They opened the door but there was an inside lock stopping them from entering.
A little while later – the phone went asking me if I wanted Housekeeping. I told them I didn’t want to be disturbed. I was not well and would be sleeping all day. They asked if I wanted water. NO. I have 10 bottles in here – and don’t need anymore. Do I want fresh towels? NO! I am on my own in the suite. There are enough towels in here for a Toga party. PLEASE, just leave me alone.
An hour later…. The phone rings. ‘House Keeping’. I told them once again. Please. LEAVE ME ALONE.
A few hours later – another knock at the door. This time I open it and find a lady asking if I want the Turn-down service. I told her I do not want to be disturbed. I don’t want water and I don’t want anymore bastard towels. And back to bed it was.
Crap sleep all day/night. This was not how I saw my first weekend here.
I was supposed to meet up with several people – but was unable. Genuine sick. Luckily, the Sunday gang do their meet up every Sunday – so I’ll try for next week.
Monday morning I was glad to be heading home to HH. I spent 15k on a hotel room which I spend all the time being ‘crook’. When I checked out – they asked me if everything was to my satisfaction – to which I said No. Then went on to tell them what ‘do no disturb’ means. Thy guy on the desk was very apologetic and responsed with with what I am sure they have all been trained to respond with… something along the lines of ‘ o.k Sir, we have your feedback and shall look at changing our policies so these incidents do not happen again’. Knowing that this was a ‘fob-off’ – I asked that surely their policy was already ‘do not disturb’ a room which has a big red light on the door that says ‘do not disturb’?
My driver picked me up at 12. By 4pm I was on my sofa – feeling sorry for myself and thinking about how I can make up the time I have lost.
So I shall return in a week. GM will be in town, PRP – and Flank will still be here. Some other pals will also be hanging out who I want to catch up with – as I didn’t see them this weekend.
Infact, maybe it’s time we headed to Pattaya?