Another Pattaya in 12……

It had been a while since we did a Pattaya run.    Think it was last year?  Five of us went – and four came back.  That was a good trip.

With Lomeo out of action for the month, it was up to Bubba, GM and myself to head to Patts to see if everything is still ok there.

The plan was to meet at Mullis for lunch and then head off around 1pm.     What’s the deal with Mullis?  It’s always busy.  No matter what time of the day – there are people there.   Which makes me wonder why the staff are not very good at dealing with customers.   The girl serving us had a right face on her. I thought we were lucky to make it out of there alive.

1pm on the dot – we were on the road.  I have a regular driver who I always use for BKK/Patts/HH runs.  Even he remembered the last trip – noting that we lost one guy.  I felt a bit bad, as this guy will be waiting around until 2pm for us – knowing that we’ll be in a right drunken state when he picks us up.

Traffic was good and we were there in no time.     Only held up as we watched the aftermath of a car/pick up crash in the road.   It was odd.. as we could clearly see all the Buddha stuff dangling down from the rear view mirrors of the mangled cars.  I guess their good luck wasn’t working that day?

Where to go in Patts on a Saturday afternoon?   Well,  old ‘Pattayaman’ who knows everything said not to bother with soi 6 as it doesn’t open until 6pm.    As he is an idiot – we got dropped off in soi 6 around 3pm.   It was heaving!

Some new bars have opened up – or some old bars have had a lick of paint?   It’s was quite lively and there was a good buzz about the place.

As per usual… the first thing you do is walk from one end of the road the other and then walk back.

There was a time when soi 6 was scary and full of horrors. Not anymore.   It’s pretty tame and many of the girls are good looking – compared to the trolls that used to be there when not guarding a bridge.

One thing I noticed was that most bars we went in – all stocked Grey Goose Vodka.  A good improvement on last year.  Some of the Vodkas tasted like paint-stripper.

We stumbled across quite a few bars which were pretty good.  Many of the bars have themes and the girls in uniforms.    Why don’t they do that in Nana?   The closest I have seen to a uniform in soi 4 is all the staff in the Hilary Bar with a T-shirt saying  ‘I love Meow’!

Moving on…  we could have stayed in Soi 6 all night.  There are plenty of bars and plenty of girls to keep you entertained.

There is a bar – without the hard-sell girls, (just service staff) called Scooters.    British theme – a Vespa in the corner, pretty decent décor and good music.   This had to be one of the more popular bars by far.   Even without girls.

We must have stopped in half a dozen bars.  Each one had many good looking girls who were all full of life and chatty.  Thinking back,  I don’t recall any of them glued to their iPhone.

I should have made a note of the bar names, but lets be honest, do you look a the name of the bar or do you look at the girls outside the bar?    They’re all very similar and each one was pretty much on par with the other.    Soi 6 has definitely improved over the years.

Another bar we had a few drinks at was on Beach Road.  You know the type.  The big beach bars which just sell booze in large quantities.   Looking at the customers – it is a place where people just sit and get tanked up. Many people on their own drinking.    If I ever end up like that, someone kill me.

Now, with most bars which are ‘road-side’ – you’ll have people approach you trying to sell crap.   Jeez… I’ve seen so many. I don’t think 3 minutes passed without being pestered to buy some crap.    It was a first for me to see though – when a guy pulled up on his motorcycle/sidecar with a load of food.  He carried a tray of what looked like deep fried mice and walked around the bar trying to sell them.   What’s next?   An Ice-cream van reverse into the bar?  A Butcher slaughtering a cow in the corner?

With plenty of booze poured down our necks – it was getting dark so we decided to hit the streets and head to LK Metro.   It had been a while.

Time has not been kind to LK Metro.  Specifically the quality of girls working there.

I can’t remember the names of the gogo’s, but we went in all the usual big ones.     I can’t say I was impressed.

What is it with the tattoos and piercings?   One bar was full of heavily tattooed girls with loads of shit in their faces (piercings).   It’s not my cup of tea.   It looked like the cast of Sons of Anarchy dancing on a pole in the bar from Dusk til Dawn.  Monsters – the lot of them.     10 years ago – you’d expect these horrors to be beating you up on Soi 6.  Now, they’re on a pole and the normal girls are on soi 6.

Quality of pole dancers has gone down the crapper

Having been on the Grey Goose vodka for most of the day, you kind of get used to the taste – or how it should taste.   So in one bar when a vodka arrived that tasted like paint stripper – I knew it wasn’t right.   Fook knows what it was?  The cheapest nastiest fluid ever to carry the Vodka label that’s for sure.

I couldn’t drink it.   But then  I had probably had enough.  It was by then I was feeling pretty drunk and had to make my way to the toilets where I proceeded to vomit.

Being the type of person I am – I tend to clean everything up when I throw up.   That toilet cubicle has never looked so clean after I had finished with it.

I wasn’t sure what made me throw up.  I’d like to think it was the amount of booze I had thrown down my neck.  If not, it was the sight of all the ugly Rocky horror show rejects that were prancing around on stage.  Or the shit vodka?

From LK we headed to Walking Street.

Anyone been there lately?  It’s turning into Bangla Road.  Full of Tourists (and why not?) – but the holiday type of Tourists, not the party type (if that makes sense?).

Where there are Tourists – there are people selling crap to Tourists.  Sunglasses, wooden frogs, DVD’s, Maps of Thailand, fake watches and Dildos.

After buying a few Dildos for Lomeo and Jonas – we headed (I think) into Soi Diamond.    Can’t remember the name of the bar?    It was pretty dire if I remember.  By that time of night I think we were all past our peak and the thought of food and a nap was more appealing than have some scantily clad girl slap us with a foam tube.

We were done.

It was around 1am when my Driver pulled up outside Kentucky Fried McBurger King.

The journey back to Bangkok took less than 10 minutes.   Well, that about as much as we remember of the journey.

To sum it up…  yeah it was a good time.  We’ve had better – but we’ve also had a lot worse.

For future trips I think I’ll give LK & Walking Street a miss. Too busy and too many weirdo skanks.

I’d keep to the Soi’s off Beach Road.   You could easily  spend a whole night on soi 6.

But the main thing I will take away from that trip – is the price.  Pattaya is soooo much cheaper than Bangkok.  For the 1st time ever I arrived home with a  pile of cash in my pocket.   – and Dildo.

10 thoughts on “Another Pattaya in 12……

  1. Yeah it’s not often I make it home with my dildo!
    Your “Rocky Horror” reference is SOOO spot on mate! Just like the approach (from either side) to R4 ( or what ever the fuck it’s called these days) the South side, level 2 is getting nearly impassable…
    Good to hear soi 6 has stepped up the game!

  2. Haha, First time you arrived home with a dildo in your pocket? Well how else are they getting there?

    Man I don’t know, I think would give the freak show a whirl, I likes all kinds. farm fresh and also scary as fuck. I will say I kind of find soi 6 slightly intimidating in broad daylight. Maybe i should switch to grey goose…

    • I’m sorry, but I find it hard to believe Rolln finds soi 6 intimidating during the day.

      For those of you that don’t know Rolln, he is what you’d expect to pop out of the ‘Stripe’ Gremlin if you fed him after midnight. (and I don’t mean the cute fury one).
      Van Helsing went into hiding because he heard Rolln was hunting him. I also heard that Chuck Norris keeps a lists of facts about Rolln.

      So for Rolln to be intimidated of Soi 6 – paints a grim picture on it. However, roll back 10 years and I’d agree.

      Soi 6 is nothing like it used to be. Sure, there is still the smell of stale piss and cheap watered down bleach everywhere, but the quality, attitude and amount of girls has gone way up.

      You need to check it out.

      Maybe another run is due next month?

  3. Nice write up. Dont get down to Pattaya too often, but from what I recall, you are spot on with your write up

    How were the fried mice? I have to admit, I am a bit of a sucker when the little doe-eyed girl(s) come around with flowers. I realize that their parents (or whoever) are relying on that to separate money from suckers like myself, but what the heck…. Life in Thailand.

    • I feel another trip coming on……. hmm… Maybe an over night?

      Will check the interwebnet for a decent hotel. Or maybe just play it by ear and make no arrangements and see where the night takes us?

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