Pool Playing….

My month off has now come to an end.   Phew.  Glad to get back to work.  It’s been a somewhat busy month.     Now,  I know this will come as a shock to many people – but I have a few things I am not best pleased about with my time in Thailand.  Instead of one long whinge where I tell how various people need punching in the face – I’ll break it all down into smaller little tales.

Starting off with Pool players….

First of all – if you’re a pool player who thinks they are good.  Let me tell you this now.  You’re not.  You maybe against your pal – but against a seasoned bar-girl.  You can’t play for shit.

For those of you that have been in or visiting Thailand before girls were glued to their phones, the place to be was Gullivers on Soi 5.  With the pool tables at the back occupied by freelancers.  Put your name on the board and the winner stays on.  It was VERY rare to see a Farrang to beat a girl.

More often than not, the girls looked pretty hot in their tight jeans, bending over the tables.   This was their business.  Putting themselves on display.  Some girls use the pole.  These girls used a cue.

Now here is the thing, many afternoons I’d hang out there for a drink and watch guys challenge for a game of pool.  These guys would never talk to the girl.  Never smile.  Never joke.  Certainly not buy the girl a drink.   No.  They would treat each game like it was the most important game in the world.  These guys actually thought they could impress a girl with their pool skills!!.  DICKS.

The pool table is a great tool in which to meet a girl, strike up a conversation and have a laugh with someone you’ve never met before.  Why these people didn’t see that is beyond me?

This is all over Thailand.  For some reason – when a guy is on a pool table, he thinks he is the best in the world and people are impressed.  They’re not.     How many of us have witnessed a guy playing pool – who will suddenly start swinging the pool cue around thinking he is some kind of ninja?   Again, is this something that is supposed to be impressive?   I have no time for these idiots.

To me.. Pool is a GAME.  That is why you PLAY it.   It’s supposed to be fun.

So imagine my need to punch people in the face when I visited a friend of a friends little bar in soi 94 in Hua Hin.  It’s a small shop front bar with a pool table.     As I sat there with Miss Tim and a few pals having a drink, various people arrived – carrying their own Pool Cues.     Why?     Why actually go to the effort of buying a cue and carrying it to a bar to play on an average table with average pool balls?

I dismissed this – as they were all of the more ‘mature’ kind of gentlemen.   After an hour of many of them playing pool with each other, it was apparent that 1) no one spoke with each other and 2) they can’t really play very well at all!.   So what’s the point?   Where is the fun?

But why should I get angry about this?  Well,  aside from the miserable basts playing crap pool with their own cues – they all wear one of those little gloves.  The ones with a few fingers missing.   At first I thought the guys were ex -Jakuza, but it turns out they all think they are professional pool players.

Surely – if you and your opponent are both wearing these soppy little gloves then you both are equal as if you were both not wearing the gloves.  Take them off!   At least you wont look so fucking stupid.

This is like going for a bike ride – but wearing a full Tour de France outfit.   Or going ice skating with your pals and wearing the full spandex suite with helmet and goggles.

But maybe I am alone on this.   Maybe it’s just me that gets frustrated – seeing people who think they’re some kind of professional pool player.   Someone who thinks (when playing the bar girls) the girls are impressed?  But mainly, I get annoyed because the bars have pool tables to generate a good atmosphere and a good time.  To create enjoyment for the customers.   Not to have people fed up and angry because they missed a shot or lost a game.

I tell all my newbie friends when they come here  ‘don’t play pool with the girl unless you are o.k with losing’.   These girls play pool EVERYDAY.  While you are at home – with the wife and kids.  When you’re at work or sleeping – they’re probably playing pool.

Use the pool table as a social tool.   A tool which you can use to talk to a girl.  Have a laugh even?

When thinking about it – a girl on a pool table is probably the longest I’ve ever seen one not use their phone.

4 thoughts on “Pool Playing….

  1. I like pool but I hate playing with people who are too serious about it, whether they are good or bad. When I mean serious I mean the ones who stalk off if they get beat not the ones who take getting beat with a manly shake of the hand. I hate it even more in Thailand where pool tables are 10 a penny and if not free then very cheap.
    Off track slightly I remember playing Tai in the Big Mango Bar. I told her I would buy her a drink if she beat me (I was buying her drinks anyway). After I had beaten her twice she suggested that it would be better I buy her a drink if I win. I said, “but how do I know that you would just let me win all the time ?” She replied, “I never do that as that is cheating”.

  2. I’ve seen girls play one handed while holding their phone with the other hand. Probably saying something like “No I not bar teerak – at friend house”

  3. Graham – your post was spot on. I always wonder about those guys with the gloves. Nothing funnier than seeing one of those guys come in, put their glove on, take their cue out of its case, and proceed to get their ass whupped by a girl playing with a warped cue stick who is probably 2 times over the legal limit in alcohol.

    Though not quite on the same level, there are those guys (probably the same ones) who show up in a bowling alley with the most outrageous hand, wrist, arm supports imaginable. From what they are wearing during bowling, you would think that they are a cripple and deserve pity, not laughter.

    • I am going to get an old glove and cut some fingers off. Making sure it looks like I cut them off using a Meth-heads teeth.

      Wonder if anyone will notice when I start playing pool while wearing it?

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