I spent a little over a week in Colombia recently, mostly for work. Believe it or not there are now funds catering to large pools of investment capital that are working over previously ignored parts of South America for investment opportunities. Fun fact about Colombia–as part of the ‘war on drugs’ Bush II created the ‘Andean Trade Promotion and Drug Eradication Act’ which gives Colombia, Peru, Ecuador, and Bolivia some pretty sweet deals on trade with the US (there is a longstanding comprehensive free trade agreement between the US and Colombia that Colombia has ratified and the US has not). Fun fact #2 about Colombia–thanks to Hugo Chavez scaring/pissing off the entire oil industry in Venezuela the majors are now sniffing around Colombia as a more or less decent place to do business. As on oil industry guy said to me over beers in the hotel lounge, ‘It seems like every time you bring a new geologist down to Bolivia or Chile they find something. Cali is a short flight from Houston and the Colombians act like they want our money. Seems to me like that’s worth a look or two.’
Back in Bangkok and the curfew has been extended to 11 or 12pm or something by now. I take 2 of my friends and and go to Nana early. I go to Angel Witch again. Get pretty fucked up as usual. I have a chat with the Manager. After, I ask mamasan for two bi-girls down for a threesome. She points them over. I know one already as Pim from a previous encounter. I take two girls, Dun and Pim? Cant remember if Pim is the right name still. Dun is small with light hair and has a snaggle tooth. Pim, has blondish hair with braces, and fake titties. My boys grab girls too. I’m getting a bit jealous cause one of my boys gets a new hot young girl that I think has outdone my 2, but whatever.
“Put your seatbelt on Penfold, and tick off ‘steal a cab’….and tell me, which way to Bangkok”……..
12 Hours earlier…..
We planned the Pattaya trip last week…. Many ‘contributors’ helped come with some tasks that would see us busy for the day (see here). It was a tight schedule. Well, tighter than YP’s ring, but that isn’t saying much.
I had to go to Vegas for 4 days before i departed for BKK. I packed all my shit and had it ready to go to because I was leaving for Bangkok the same day I return from Vegas. The first 3 days in Vegas were spent mostly on business, I didn’t gamble this time as I’ve learned I’m a sore loser, maybe next time. The last night I took my mom who lives in Vegas out to dinner at Dinero’s restaurant in the Hardrock casino and drank a bottle of wine and after wards put mom in a taxi and went back in the casino looking for trouble.
So the party on Saturday night was awesome. Thanks to the folks that made it happen – u know who u r. I got in pretty late and missed the peak but from the scraps that I saw – everyone was a having a great time and the YING factor was high. I have to admit that the YING quality was above average and a very fun crowd. Bummed I was not there earlier.
Thanks to the folks who made it out and stay tuned for the next one!
Last trip to the big mango was pretty hectic with the Big Mango party, the world cup stuff and just trying to get laid. With all the work I had to do get done it was just easier hitting up Angels than trying to organize hookups or barfining. Besides there are some hotties at Angels at what’s funny is to see them show up on facebook trying to pretend they are just normal party girls. Yeah right.
The highlight of the trip was watching the world cup final with the gang at Sky club. Tons of booze, hotties and a big screen but the game went on so long that by the time we wrapped up I was well – slightly intoxicated. I leave the club to see one the girls I used to hang with who got kind of pissy seeming me chatting up a new girl and getting the digits. Rather than have a faceoff out front we made for the taxi figuring I would call either of them later. Of course coming back to Suk from cambodia at 5 in the morning looking the way we did meant that we were stopped by the BIB using their magically powers of profiling to determine we were harmless. These guys need to to Tel Aviv or something for some proper training. Just pathetic.
It’s been a while since I last posted here and having just returned from Laos I thought it time to put pen to paper.
It has been a bit of a dry time for the last few weeks, but that is another story, and with a visa run coming up I thought it might be nice to meet someone other than a ladyboy (definitely not on my list of things to do) while I am away in Laos.
Naaa. For your enjoyment and my ridicule I will tell all now.
Here’s how. Daywalker and Young Penfold are doing a Pattaya in 12 run this Sunday. They will each post a writeup next week about what they did 3:00pm-5:00pm and 5:00pm-7:00pm. For instance:
DW…Sat in XXX bar and some ugly pig came and sat next to us. She has bad teeth, but we still bought her a drink.
YP…Sat in XXX bar and some stunning gorgeous chick sat next to us. Wait, I think she’s a chick?
Life can be strange in Asia. One moment you could be in a hotel bar with colleagues, the next you could be in another hotel bar with some slappers and the next you could be at a VIP event with models and actresses. Problem is that I am not the kind to be able to pull models and actresses, I did try, but after being in close proximity with them for hours I was forced to resort to more normal methods for satisfaction.
* For autistic purposes I have written this pile of crap in the third person and not to disassociate myself from my cuntish behaviour. I wrote about a recent day in P Town and not Bkk just because, like, you know like, whatever.
Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a Thai girl coming down the road and this Thai girl that was coming down along the road met a nice little boy named Barfine Warrior…. She spoke to him with impeccable English and was genuinely inspiring as he lost himself in her striking, brown eyes. Her words were so tender and discerning and he realised he had a tremendous erection. He raised his cannon and bang on the kisser nailed her with a massive splurge of water. She recoiled and covered her face with her arms spluttering and shouting at him as he scampered up the road laughing like a wanker. All is fair in love and war, and never more so than in Thailand.
After the traumatic incident in the M Blok toilet with the balding smackhead, BB suggested a change of pace. It was welcomed
BATS @ Shangri-La Hotel – Much like Red Square, this place had a swish decor, good music, Oliver Reid approved pours, but was a very weak crowd. Number-crunching looking types in suits, Arabs, and a lot of unappealing hookers. There was one lady-of-the-night who was passable, so we called her over for a drink. Tight body. Full head of hair. No visible signs of heroin withdrawal. A vast Improvement on the last girl. Possible score. Until she smiled. Deary me. No score. Looked like she had swallowed a fucking grenade. A truly horrendous set of gnashers. Pounded 2 Vodka Cranberrys each, gave her a whisky n coke, and the number of a decent dentist, made our excuses and left
In not living in Bangkok anymore I have new respect for those on holiday and their desire to hit it hard and fast. Short times versus long-time, quick meals to regain sustenance and a focus on the raw statistics. It is a sprint – not a marathon. One has to totally change their game to maximize the throughput. Enuff said.
I am also gutted that tonight is the big party and I am not there. Fuck me.
Arose at midday, feeling like shit on a stick. Hot sweats, Columbian flu, and liver aches. Polished off 6 paracetemol with 2 litres of water, then soaked in the shower for 30minutes, which did nothing to rescue me from my world of grief
When your this hungover, and in this much pain, the only sensible solution, is to keep on drinking. Keep drinking until the pain subsides, or your liver bursts into flames.
I got a call on Friday night, from contact in Jakarta, Bourgeoisie Barry who I run Tagged/DIA profiles for, asking if I fancied hanging out in Jakarta for the weekend. He would cover flights, accommodation, booze, whores, drugs (I mean medicine – like Night Nurse, Tylenol and stuff), food, and anything else. All I had to go was get to Suvarnabhumi tomorrow morning, in time for the 14:10 Garduda flight to JKT. Score
Saturday morning, I rolled out of bed, nursing the motherfucker of all hangovers, packed my skin tight tshirts, various skin lotions and my passport, skipped out of my front door (which has ladyboy high heel shoes dents in it) and into a yellow and green limousine to the airport.
It has been 6 long months since I stepped foot in Pattaya. I thought that this could make a terrific sentence with which to begin actually writing my first article in almost as long, until I read Stickman’s last Sunday column. Which begins “It has been 6 long months since I stepped foot in Pattaya”.