Everyone has a different theory on how parties are best put together. I think we can all agree that the best parties are usually had out of town, away from prying eyes and certainly out of your area code.
I arrived at BKK airport around 4pm on a Saturday. My pal was waiting at the airport. For some reason, girls seem to worship him. Lets call him Jesus.
The plan was to head straight to Pattaya for the night and then return to BKK the next day to meet up with my other pals/girls/work colleagues. I allowed myself 1 night of freedom.
Part 1 of 3
Part 3 of 3
Back in Bangkok and the curfew has been extended to 11 or 12pm or something by now. I take 2 of my friends and and go to Nana early. I go to Angel Witch again. Get pretty fucked up as usual. I have a chat with the Manager. After, I ask mamasan for two bi-girls down for a threesome. She points them over. I know one already as Pim from a previous encounter. I take two girls, Dun and Pim? Cant remember if Pim is the right name still. Dun is small with light hair and has a snaggle tooth. Pim, has blondish hair with braces, and fake titties. My boys grab girls too. I’m getting a bit jealous cause one of my boys gets a new hot young girl that I think has outdone my 2, but whatever.
“Put your seatbelt on Penfold, and tick off ‘steal a cab’….and tell me, which way to Bangkok”……..
12 Hours earlier…..
We planned the Pattaya trip last week…. Many ‘contributors’ helped come with some tasks that would see us busy for the day (see here). It was a tight schedule. Well, tighter than YP’s ring, but that isn’t saying much.
I had to go to Vegas for 4 days before i departed for BKK. I packed all my shit and had it ready to go to because I was leaving for Bangkok the same day I return from Vegas. The first 3 days in Vegas were spent mostly on business, I didn’t gamble this time as I’ve learned I’m a sore loser, maybe next time. The last night I took my mom who lives in Vegas out to dinner at Dinero’s restaurant in the Hardrock casino and drank a bottle of wine and after wards put mom in a taxi and went back in the casino looking for trouble.
Here’s how. Daywalker and Young Penfold are doing a Pattaya in 12 run this Sunday. They will each post a writeup next week about what they did 3:00pm-5:00pm and 5:00pm-7:00pm. For instance:
DW…Sat in XXX bar and some ugly pig came and sat next to us. She has bad teeth, but we still bought her a drink.
YP…Sat in XXX bar and some stunning gorgeous chick sat next to us. Wait, I think she’s a chick?
* For autistic purposes I have written this pile of crap in the third person and not to disassociate myself from my cuntish behaviour. I wrote about a recent day in P Town and not Bkk just because, like, you know like, whatever.
Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a Thai girl coming down the road and this Thai girl that was coming down along the road met a nice little boy named Barfine Warrior…. She spoke to him with impeccable English and was genuinely inspiring as he lost himself in her striking, brown eyes. Her words were so tender and discerning and he realised he had a tremendous erection. He raised his cannon and bang on the kisser nailed her with a massive splurge of water. She recoiled and covered her face with her arms spluttering and shouting at him as he scampered up the road laughing like a wanker. All is fair in love and war, and never more so than in Thailand.
It has been 6 long months since I stepped foot in Pattaya. I thought that this could make a terrific sentence with which to begin actually writing my first article in almost as long, until I read Stickman’s last Sunday column. Which begins “It has been 6 long months since I stepped foot in Pattaya”.
Heres the background. I’m married to a Issan girl she now lives in California with me and she is a smoking 12 on a scale of 1 to 10, she’s in school and works. I travel to Thailand for work or play about 4 times a year, I speak moderate thai. I have been going to bkk since 2000 and I lived on soi 11 in 2001. This time I didnt have a legit reason to go so I told the thai wife I was going to Germany for business, why Germany, because its 6 hours behind bkk and i will remember that when I’m on the phone with her. I probably didnt need to lie, but it made things a little easier, i dont have to go visit mom, sis and all that. I’ve lived with Japanese girls, Phillipina girls and Mexican girls all of whom have left because i keep going
I can’t say that Pattaya ranks high on my list of places to spend time here in Thailand. Normally when one of my mates suggests getting out of the ‘Kok for a weekend in Pattaya the resulting look on my face is enough of an indicator that I’m not bothered again. Maybe it was the booze that we had already consumed that loosened my inhibitions (earlier in the day I had been helping a buddy re-arrange his shophouse office and we had installed a shot dispenser on the wall above the main desk and promptly inserted a bottle of vodka…seemed like a great idea at the time). Maybe it was because it was Mother’s Day Eve and we could feel the energy of hordes of whores building on the distant horizon. Or maybe it was because we were half-way there already, and suffering a 30 minute jaunt down the motorway didn’t seem enough of a reason not to go. Whatever the case, ingredients were mixed in the pot and a foul brew was stewing. We clambered into my buddy’s ride and shot off at a speed that not only made me fear for my life but also caused every other motorist to veer to the shoulder, thus making it even easier to reach our destination.
[Events took place circa June 2007]
‘1200 plus Highway, I take you’. ‘No, 1200 everything – I sit in front and play with your gear-shift.’ The last bit didn’t quite register, but his eyes narrowed. ‘Okay, okay! Me take. What your name?’ ‘Reecharrd’, replied my buddy Rich. ‘My name Bang-Bang’. A name for a taxi driver that did not inspire confidence. ‘I come hotel, OK?’
Bang-Bang lived up to his name. The usual white-knuckle ride to Pattaya reached new heights of terror, our driver bucking and lurching wildy across highway lanes, a man possessed, lost in a diabolical dance with concrete barriers and trucks stacked high with live pigs’ asses. Punctuating this loon’s driving tics and spasms was a tale about a Japanese man, presumably named ‘Anatat’ since it was mentioned at least 150 times. ‘I call him, I say ‘you no remember me, Anataaaat! Me velly poor, you leech (rich) man.’ Yep, he seemed to be stating that the Jap guy, not only saddled with monthly stipends to one or more lady friends, was also obliged to send instalments to his ‘regular’ Bangkok taxi driver. Bang-Bang was outraged that the checks had stopped arriving. We told him not to take it lying down. ‘Don’t take no shit from those stingy tightwad Japs, they’re famous for it – doorstep him in Kyoto if you have to’. Jeez, what next – bell-hops on retainers?
Made my first every trip to Pattaya recently and thought I’d write up an interesting day.
Me and a mate had been out at a temple on the outskirts when it started raining heavily. We took cover but it showed no sign of abating so we grabbed a taxi back to town. Sitting in the back I got soaked as the rain lashed in.
Beach Rd resembled a river and the taxi was wading through water sending big streams splashing outwards. We jumped out at a side street and jumped in to local bar. When the rain died down we thought that would be it but when we got to Second rd we realised things were worse than we thought. There was no way to get back to the hotel without wading through knee deep water.
Six weeks after the first episode of â€’Big Trouble in Thailand” set off a firestorm around Thailand’s jet-ski rental industry, the show’s creator has finally admitted that a scene during the televised scam of British Marines by a jet-ski vendor nicknamed â€’J.J.” was fabricated.
â€’In the program that was broadcast, the audio over the scene where J.J. produces a gun is different to the audio on the raw footage from that day,” said Gavin Hill, who produced and directed the eight (now) six (uh, now) seven eight-part mini-series. â€’When it comes to that particular scene the audio was, in my opinion, faked.” Continue reading
TFS2M.com Exclusive — A Bangkok coroner has ruled that Trevor â€’T.J.” Hawley, co-owner of Pattaya’s Coyotee’s a-go-go and a driving force behind some of Walking Street most-successful bars, choked to death on a roll of bread amid circumstances that leave those closest to him still suspecting foul play. Continue reading
Now someone correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t television sets usually last longer than four years? Especially expensive ones? I even dumped a Coke into the back of my first-ever TV and it was still going strong at age 7. So you can imagine how pissed off I was when the 34-inch flat-screen Phillips CRT I bought in 2005 for 30,000 baht died for the second – and final – time last month.
So, grudgingly, I set out to buy a new high-definition widescreen LCD. And in doing so I got to discover once again why shopping for high-tech in Thailand really sucks.
Starting with this post (No. 97 for those counting), I’m trying something a bit different. Rather than follow my usual pattern of writing newsy, one-topic posts, I’m going take a page out of SideShowBob’s book and do some â€’true” blogging about daily life, some links to make you go â€’hmmm,” and a more personal approach to writing.
I warn you now, though, Entourage ain’t my thing. Uni girls and G-clubs can’t be found in Pattaya and I’m perfectly content chasing low-maintenance bargirls. My Pattaya life is definitely lacking the Bangkok Cool Factor. I just thought that getting an â€’Insider’s Take on Thailand (Take 2)” from another city might make things a bit more interesting. Continue reading