Apart from the novel about AC – there is not much info on this blog for Manila, PH. If one goes to AC there is only one thing to do and it aint work. You cannot even remotely fake it. AC is all about the puss and that’s it. I guess the eating as well but I generally don’t go to a destination just for the food. Point is if you say you are going to AC everyone assumes you a seeking p4p. No drama but it needs to be said but many people have to go to Manila and that is not a bad thing but you have to know where to go.
Day Seven – The Last Day
Morning sex, and disaster struck. Martha’s period appeared to have begun. Either that, or she had been up half the night delicately filling herself with beetroot juice. You never know.
With sex off the menu, and with Martha being far too pretty to be any good at the art of oral sex (see Poodle’s comment on Part One), I was left with absolutely nothing to do.
The thing about Angeles City is that it’s fine for bar-crawls, picking up girls, and eating vast banquets. But there is absolutely nothing else to do. The nearest beach is hours away, and apparently isn’t even very nice.
Day Five – An Unexpected Party
After afternoon intercourse (we woke up at 3pm), Martha pointed out that it would be her birthday tomorrow. I’d actually noticed this on her license card on the first night, but had immediately forgotten about it in my boozy haze. Apparently there would be a party at her home, and she would love me to attend.
Once I’d confirmed that her parents would not be present (just her sisters, aunts, cousins and friends), I agreed. It would be an interesting experience, hopefully without too much pressure being put upon me to marry the poor girl.
She was unable to join us for breakfast, due to her weekly STD checkup, so I wandered over to the poolside restaurant alone, where I found On Nutter sitting near the water’s edge, reading a newspaper. I was surprised and disappointed not to see a pair of comedy eyeholes cut out, through which I had imagined he would be watching the frolicking hookers in the pool.
I had a Spanish omelette for breakfast. And, yes, finished it.
Day Three, Continued
I met with The Baron and On Nutter at Azzuro, where I enjoyed a light bruschetta, followed by a splendid lasagna.
“Are you going to finish that?” asked On Nutter.
“Yes,” said I.
He wept, quietly, into his tiramisu.
We also managed to drink 3 more bottles of wine with dinner again, but I was assured that since we were on holiday, they didn’t count.
Day Two – Barren, no Bonk
There are, for some reason, three taps in the shower. The one on the right is for hot, the one on the left for cold. The one in the middle must be for… Warm? Soap?
As it transpires, it’s not a tap. It diverts the water from the shower head to the low-set tap. Thus ensuring that the weary traveller can easily alternate between boiling his head and searing the skin off his feet.
Eventually, after skilled and precise knob-manipulating that made me feel like a safecracker – or a fluffer with a cold sore – I settled on a temperature somewhere between “saute” and “poach”, and showered.
Here begins an account of what transpired – the first of five (count ’em!) parts, because I figured people probably hate overly-long individual pieces even more than they hate serial pieces of readable length…
Punters who frequent Bangkok’s western bar scene occasionally look to other locations for their bargames. Bangkok bar alternatives include Pattaya, Singapore (4 floors, Geylang, etc.), Phnom Penh, and Angeles City (AC) in the Philippines.
AC, the Pattaya of the Philippines, is located about 150 kms north of Manila. Located adjacent to the now-closed USAF Clark Air Base, it has had an active bar scene since the Vietnam War. 3 airlines currently have daily direct flights from Bkk to Manila, with RT fares ranging from 7500 to 13000 baht.