The Twilight Zone

Sometimes I refer to Thailand/Bangkok as the Twilight Zone. Meaning the normal rules of the world just don’t apply sometimes. Let me highlight for you a few examples to justify my position on this.

Elivs. In any other part of the world if someone were to walk around dressed like a non-performing Elvis look a like he would usually attract some level of attention. In fact the Lan Kwai Fong (the famous nightlife spot for expats with too much money and arrogant Chinese girls looking for rich boyfriends) area of Central Hong Kong is home to an Elvis impersonator who makes his living by singing off-key Elvis songs using the same melody coupled with 3-4 different lyrics from famous Elvis songs. Both the locals and the expats always get a kick when he walks by. I usually paid him just to go away since I truly loved Elvis and cannot handle a HK Chinese pretending to look like my idol. Back to my point. I was hanging in the Soi 7 beergarden yesterday reading the IHT and nursing my diet coke when I spotted him – an Elvis impersonator not in an Elvis outfit but dressed to kill none the less. You can picture it. Jet black hair with the big scoop in the front married to a huge set of lambchops that seemed to reach down to his ankles. He was wearing some sort of white alligator skin half boot/half dress shoe shoe. Hell if I know what to call them-sansaboots? He was wearing black polyester sansabelt pants – yes you know the kind but it was the shirt that really got me. It was a polyester, somewhat see through, white shirt with a black leopard print pattern. Yes – long sleeve with a big collar. Remember it is hot in Bangkok right now and Soi 7 beergarden only has fans. Just the hint of seeing his naked torso underneath was enough to remind me that today was not the day to have my first meal at Soi 7. Ever been to Vegas? You know those cheap ass big black goldrimmed glasses you can pick up on the street so you too can look like Elvis – he was wearing those. Indoors. What a sight. But given that Bkk is the Twilight Zone and even further to the point that the Soi 7 beergarden is the heart of it – no one gave the guy a second glance. In fact he was getting so little attention that he started talking like Elvis and even waving to the disinterested crowd like he was greeting his fan base before a concert. I almost fell off my stool. Elvis gets no love. 😉

Continue reading “The Twilight Zone”

Day 5-6 by ~h

Last day in Pattaya.

As I sit down to write, there is a 24 year old beauty I barfined last night from a place called Heavan Above splayed out and snoring in my bed. Let’s call her Heavan 1. I am leaving Pattaya today and I have mixed feelings about it. First of all if I don’t leave today I think my dick just might fall off. I’ve never been so sore in my life. If it wasn’t for this fact I would consider extending my Pattya tour at least a day but junior needs a forced rest. I can’t believe this is a problem.

Continue reading “Day 5-6 by ~h”

Pattaya Road Trip

I had to do some business in Chonburi on Saturday and there was not point in getting that close to Pattaya and not stopping in. Always seems to be easy to find a cheap hotel so I never really worry about making reservations. I tend to check out Soi 13/1 off of Beach Road when I am looking for some cheap digs. So far it has never let me down.

I will say up front that one of my bad habits about visiting Pattaya is I tend to go to the same places. I will try to do better in the future about hitting new spots and exploring some more but sometimes I just enjoy going to the places I already know. Moving on.

Continue reading “Pattaya Road Trip”