My go-go guru by On Nutter

Ugly go-go dancers home in on me like a cruise missile locked on to an aircraft carrying Osama bin Laden. It has always been this way. Each time I walk through those magic curtains, the sloppy seconds of Thai womanhood descend on me before I can say ‒Tiger beer”.

When I walk into a bar alone and see other solo drinkers happily enjoying the show without being harassed by desperate slappers, I am encouraged that, perhaps just once, I might be allowed the same privilege. Yet within seconds two flabby Isaan hands appear from behind me and begin a neck massage. I turn around to see a middle-aged porker with bad breath and a lascivious sneer who would be better employed selling fish in Udon Thani.

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Working for a Living by Werewolf

I often read comments on internet blog sites that refer to the Westerners living in Thailand as a group of moral degenerates.

I guess that reading the available websites about Thailand might make life in Bangkok sound very much like one long drunken party, and that’s unfortunate, because life in Bangkok certainly isn’t all whoring and drunkenness. To survive in Bangkok , like anywhere else, it’s necessary to work and you can’t survive in many jobs if you are constantly high or hung over.

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Wanting to be Funny by Werewolf

When you watch a stupid high school movie from Hollywood you see all the teenage stereotypes: geeks, sluts, jocks, nerds, and so on. Each group seems to hang with its own, with limited cross-group contact. Growing up, I was hard to categorize. I was a very good student (geek), I was tall & strong and played three sports (jock), but I also had a bad haircut and thick glasses (nerd).

As I passed through high school there were two things I wanted for myself:

  1. I wanted to have a lot of sex with pretty girls; and
  2. I wanted to be funny

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10 things I hate about Bangkok – Part 5 by On Nutter

Part 1 :: Part 2 :: Part 3 :: Part 4

BARGIRLS’ MOBILE PHONES: Have you ever met a bargirl whose phone does not have Bluetooth, email, digital camera, WAP, GSM, HSCSD, GPRS, SyncML, J2ME, MMS and a whole lot more unintelligible acronyms? Neither have I. It always puzzles me why anyone financing an extended family in Isaan, various unwell buffaloes and a Thai boyfriend would invest 15,000 baht in a phone with functions they cannot use. A girl recently asked me if she could download some photos from her phone to my computer. ‒Me have Bluetooth,” she said, producing a USB cable. ‒No, Bluetooth is a wireless application – that is a USB cable. Anyway, my computer does not have Bluetooth,” I explained. She looked horrified. ‒You no have Bluetooth? You Cheap Charlie mak mak.”

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Tokyo Joes(Bangkok) Review by Werewolf

A few months back I went to Soi 24 for a night of music at Tokyo Joes Blues Bar, and was surprised to find it closed. I was pleased to learn later that TJs had simply moved to a new location on Soi 26 (opposite the Tara Hotel ).

On Sunday I met a friend at the new location to check out the new venue. Tokyo Joes new location has a comfortable brick and wood interior, with a roomy stage and good sound system. Most nights professional musicians take the stage around 9:30 , but on Sundays there is an open jam that is advertised as starting at 5:30.

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Bangkok Plug & Play by Werewolf

I used to live in Sydney Australia. Pay 4 Play there generally means visiting a brothel with between 1 and 20 girls, seeing the ones available, and choosing one for 30 or 60 minutes, or visiting a rub-n-tug massage parlor. The brothels & massage parlors themselves are generally spread far apart, and usually well-hidden. You need to do a lot of research to find them, and you need good transport to access many of them.

By contrast, Bangkok is a Plug & Play city. It’s nightlife options for visiting Westerners are collected into a few fairly tightly defined areas that are generally well-serviced by transport options. If you simply know the names and general locations of a few streets (Soi Cowboy, Patpong, Nana, RCA are probably enough for most newbies) you should have enough information to enjoy your first week-long holiday in the Land of Smiles.

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