A Week in Angeles City – Part Five

Day Seven – The Last Day

Morning sex, and disaster struck. Martha’s period appeared to have begun. Either that, or she had been up half the night delicately filling herself with beetroot juice. You never know.

With sex off the menu, and with Martha being far too pretty to be any good at the art of oral sex (see Poodle’s comment on Part One), I was left with absolutely nothing to do.

The thing about Angeles City is that it’s fine for bar-crawls, picking up girls, and eating vast banquets. But there is absolutely nothing else to do. The nearest beach is hours away, and apparently isn’t even very nice.

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A Week in Angeles City – Part Four

Day Five – An Unexpected Party

After afternoon intercourse (we woke up at 3pm), Martha pointed out that it would be her birthday tomorrow. I’d actually noticed this on her license card on the first night, but had immediately forgotten about it in my boozy haze. Apparently there would be a party at her home, and she would love me to attend.

Once I’d confirmed that her parents would not be present (just her sisters, aunts, cousins and friends), I agreed. It would be an interesting experience, hopefully without too much pressure being put upon me to marry the poor girl.

She was unable to join us for breakfast, due to her weekly STD checkup, so I wandered over to the poolside restaurant alone, where I found On Nutter sitting near the water’s edge, reading a newspaper. I was surprised and disappointed not to see a pair of comedy eyeholes cut out, through which I had imagined he would be watching the frolicking hookers in the pool.

I had a Spanish omelette for breakfast. And, yes, finished it.

Continue reading “A Week in Angeles City – Part Four”

Jason Skypes Home. A Pants Elk post by Pants Elk.

‒Tristram! Oh, this is far out! Hahahahaha! Yah! I’m in Bangkok! How cool is that? How’s my little brother? Fuck, this is totally weird! Yah, pretty spaced out actually, got seriously baked last night, I feel like total shit, yah … hahahahaha! Yah, the hotel has like WiFi? Which is way cool. Wait a sec … want to see my room? Check this out, bro … panties on the floor! Getting a hard-on? And we follow the underwear trail … yeah, that is a used condom – gross-out city or what! Fnar fnar! Okay … see her? Check it out! This is what a real woman looks like in bed! Hahahahaha! One night in Bangkok and the Jace-meister has already pulled, big time! Continue reading “Jason Skypes Home. A Pants Elk post by Pants Elk.”

Gobble Gobble 2009

homelandsecIt’s Thanksgiving time again and a Happy Thanksgiving to all! I know, I know, many of you are not Americans and could care less. That aside, it’s still a fun little eating holiday, and towards that end we are having a special Thanksgiving Day Feast Thursday the 26th at the Mango. We will be offering a big Turkey Plate for 390 baht.

What comes on or around the Turkey Plate?

Turkey, Mash, Gravy, Stuffing, Peas, Carrots, Mushrooms, Cranberry, Roasted Potatoes, Roll, and Apple Pie

So c’mon down and get stuffed with us. We start serving around 3:00pm and keep serving until we’re out of Turkey.

Team Mango

Thanksgiving Security Image from here

A Week in Angeles City – Part Three

Day Three, Continued

I met with The Baron and On Nutter at Azzuro, where I enjoyed a light bruschetta, followed by a splendid lasagna.

“Are you going to finish that?” asked On Nutter.

“Yes,” said I.

He wept, quietly, into his tiramisu.

We also managed to drink 3 more bottles of wine with dinner again, but I was assured that since we were on holiday, they didn’t count.

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UFC 106 Preview by Young Penfold

ufc106My UFC record took a bit of a pasting on the last outing. I went 4-4 with Vera, Swick, Riddle and Aaron Riley cunting me over by getting beat, but I came good with picks on Bisping, Brown, Hathaway and Andrew Winner (picked on the night)

I’m now standing at 21-7. Not quite championship form, but a definite gate-keeper

The 2nd UFC event in a week comes from Las Vegas, and is one of the most entertaining looking cards of the year

Hers how I see it going down:

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One Year in the Land of Smiles by Salty

Time flies when you’re having fun, and the last 12 months here has seemed to pass way too quickly.

My original plans for coming here are still in place (see previous post, Issan Mothers) and I am still very close to Lek although she is very busy with uni study and completing her Thesis at the present time.
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A Week in Angeles City – Part Two

Day Two – Barren, no Bonk

There are, for some reason, three taps in the shower. The one on the right is for hot, the one on the left for cold. The one in the middle must be for… Warm? Soap?

As it transpires, it’s not a tap. It diverts the water from the shower head to the low-set tap. Thus ensuring that the weary traveller can easily alternate between boiling his head and searing the skin off his feet.

Eventually, after skilled and precise knob-manipulating that made me feel like a safecracker – or a fluffer with a cold sore – I settled on a temperature somewhere between “saute” and “poach”, and showered.

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A Week in Angeles City – Part One

My pal On Nutter and I were recently booked on a Cebu Pacific flight to Angeles City. And, in a dramatic break from tradition, actually made it.

Here begins an account of what transpired – the first of five (count ’em!) parts, because I figured people probably hate overly-long individual pieces even more than they hate serial pieces of readable length…
Continue reading “A Week in Angeles City – Part One”