Before I partied at the Penthouse, I found myself being Notorious in the Omni Tower.
Why would I leave soi 4 when everything I need is here?
I lived in Omni for a few years. The doormen liked me, the receptionist fancied me, the restaurant knew what food I like and the neighbors hated me. Many times I had an angry member of staff knocking on my door at some ridiculous time in the morning asking me to turn the music down. I told them I had to play the music loud to drown out all the banging from next door. Besides, it’s 10am, the neighbors should be out working or doing something that old bastards do.
It was time to change party venues. Well sort of. As I stood outside wondering where I could host my next party, my nose started bleeding at the thought of crossing the road, let alone leaving the soi. An about-turn left me gazing up at the Omni. What the hell, I’ll just rent another 2 bed corner suite on another floor for a few nights. Easy when you think about it.
“Good morning gorgeous” I said to the receptionist. “Good morning Mr. Notorious, how are you today. You are looking extremely handsome today” – or something like that. I could tell the receptionist wanted to ravish me.
“I am needing a corner suite. One with 2 bedrooms so that there are 2 walls between the lounge (dance floor) and the neighbors (moaning old bastards probably). I only need it for 2 nights. And NO maid service and extra towels.
I had the room sorted. 7/11 provided me with enough booze to keep Charlie Sheen drunk for a week and also stocked up on toothbrushes and shower caps. A stock of small white t-shirts were provided by foodland so that the creatures of the night didn’t raid my wardrobe.
Next up was the girls. My pal, lets call him Joseph… (because many times he has found himself wearing a Technicolor Dream coat. And when I say Dream coat, I mean that he has been covered in piss, blood and vomit by the odd girl here and there – (and loved it) has a very comprehensive list of hookers in his Sony Smartphone.
He called the usual ‘call-in’ group of CW’s, and told them to bring some pals. My other pal ‘Jesus’ was also joining us.
After the bar there was club. After the club there was the party… and after the party was the after party (R Kelly wasn’t there) – which was at my place around 4am.
I entered the doors to the Omni. The night receptionist knew me. She just smiled in a disapproving smile. (Probably gutted she was not invited). The little security dude was by the elevator. Some of the girls didn’t have I.D’s but I knew them so told security dude that it was o.k. and slipped him a 500 and told him we didn’t want to be disturbed as we’re having a party. Also, other girls will be arriving so please send them up… Security dude was always happy to oblige. I’d like to think it’s because he approved of my quest to have fun with cheap sluts. But in reality, he was making about 5k per month in tips off me.
With the party underway, the aircon off, the girls getting hot, the clothes were dis-guarded. Being the shy fellow that I am, I got naked hoping the girls would follow suit. They didn’t Half a dozen girls in their skiddies, a few guys with their shirts unbuttoned and me streaking. This was not going well. With all the booze and Rolln medication I was not displaying my usual ‘like a Thai girls arm’ manhood. (ask Y P) However, being starkers ensured the girls paid an interest to me – as I seemed like fun. Although in reality I was feeling embarrassed that I could not stand to attention. One of the girls kept grabbing hold of me a giggling. We had a little chemistry so fucked off to one of the bedrooms together. The 1st bedroom was occupied by Joseph who was shagging his way through any girl that was upfor it or drunk enough.
My girl took care of me. Behind closed doors she was the defibrillator that I needed to live again. After 3 mins of shagging and 2 hours of spooning, we joined the party (with a towel). The sun was up and streaks of light were bursting through any gaps in the curtains. This was like sunlight to vampires. Jesus had pretty much turned his ball sack inside out with all the jellyfish he deployed and one or two girls were already curled up on the sofa
It’s this phase of a party that we all dread. Supplies are either very low or all gone. Energy levels are low and daylight is breaking through the curtains. As the host, you have no plans and can just sit in the room all day wanking if need be, but the girls are all thinking about having to recover and go out ‘working’ the following night. For some reason, you just don’t want to be left alone. This feeling was easily changed by telling them they’d get paid for 2 nights. Their moods changed, they relaxed and walked like zombies to the bedrooms. Jesus had claimed the sofa. Party time was over. I suppose when that stage is reached, you could ‘chase it’ to get it back going by 7/11 runs, taping up the windows with bin liners, brushing your teeth ordering in some new girls (at that time of the morning, they’re probably sleeping or busy) but in reality, it’ll not be as good as the previous 5 hours.
Time to call it.
In the evening I woke to the sound of girls on phones. Through out the afternoon I’d heard various phones ringing, messages being received and beeps sounding to signify the batteries are running low. I Up around 9-10pm to survey the damage
All girls in bed with towels wrapped around them in deep sleep or a coma
All shower caps used.
Tooth brushes used and some used as hairpins.
Various tissues all around the sofa where Jesus was sleeping.
Playing cards all over the place.
Various empty little green jars of that chicken stuff
Lots of empty bottles. Lots of empty bottle tops – next top the trash can I might add.
Various phones plugged into the walls (where did they get the chargers?)
Dog eared comics scattered on the floor
Empty chewing gum packets and what looks like a make shift chemistry set.
Black bin liners taped to the windows.
I don’t bother with cleaning anything up. I get rid of anything that looks like it shouldn’t be there and wake everyone up. The girls (all wearing white t-shirts) have been paid generously by Joseph and sexually abused by Jesus.
By 10pm they’re out. I am fully refreshed and the night is young. I head to 7/11 to restock. I stopped by reception and asked if House Keeping could clean my room as it was trashed during the party and I want to go again later. Receptionist looks at me affectionately and says he’ll get someone to deal with it. Good lad.
Later that night…. We did it again but with different CW’s. For some reason, parties are not as good when you’re not 100% boned up for it, having partied the night before. Joseph split early to with the plan scrape up some CW’s from the street and hit a S.T hotel where they expect to find shit and blood stains on the bed, up the wall and on the tv remote. Jesus was my loyal wingman – and when I say loyal, I mean dirty little ratbag who I wouldn’t leave alone with my dog.
By 10am I had to check out. Reception kindly called my room at 9:55 to tell me to check the fuck out. I gathered my girl, iPod speakers and tossed what ever booze I had left into a bag. Jesus was wearing his girl as a hat when I told him we had to check out.
Because I was checking out from an apartment/hotel where I was living in long term, the check out procedure consisted of me leaving a (rather bent up) swipe card on the table and walking down the corridor to the elevator half dressed and carrying a few 7/11 bags. Jesus dragged his girl a few paces behind. After a few minutes I arrived back in my apartment. Sun burning through the windows/curtains. All quiet. A real mood killer. Go straight to bed with both girls (for sleep) I can’t be arsed to eventry and perform. Jesus goes straight to the sofa.
Laying there in the bed, all depressed about how quick the parties go down hill, I think to myself… what about pattaya? I wonder what it’d be like to party there?
Must try it sometime….