Mango Fortnightly 2nd May

  • Editorial

Welcome! Allow me to introduce the fortnightly update of goings on in and around the Mango.
It’s not the Mango Weekly that pmmp would churn out each week, but just a little informative piece to keep all you lovely people up to speed, sitting at your desks, on a train, in a bar or on the crapper.
Participation is welcomed and encouraged! If you have any tidbits then please send them into bigmangobar@hotmail.com This isn’t stickman or any other big sites, it’s just a bit of drivel to keep you amused for 5 mins and will hopefully encourage you to ‘get involved’….

Please don’t give me shit about the format.  It’ll most likely change each week.  I am not an I.T man and it’s not like I am getting paid for this.. I am making all this shit up as I go along…   just for you guys! You’d have thought will all these supposed I.T people around, they’d have offered to help with my I.T issues … you know who you are  👿

Sums it up....

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  • Opener../ Intro

Not unlike Stickman and the original weekly, we’ll start with an opener or something of interest.
Songkran is now behind us. If you’re like me, you’ll be glad to see the back of it for another year. I only endured a couple days and to be honest, I could have probably put up with it had it have only been a little squirting here and there. But, drenching poor folk and then chucking (coloured) power all over you and thus ruining your Quality Fabrics – well.. it’s just no fun.
It seems that the death toll on the roads during Songkran week is around 320 – which is not good at all.
Talking to a Thai girl the other day – after she was soaked by some Farang, she said it was all out of hand now. I told her to lighten up. After all, if God wanted them to stop getting drenched, and start respecting water – then he would have sent a clear message.

Water Pistols are for life, not just for Songkran

 

 

 

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  •   Comings and Goings

The Mango would like to say farewell to New Yiok Brothers – they were in town for a few weeks and held a party on the second floor of the Mango with a bunch of girls. A good time was had by all.
Good to meet Phoenix who was in town and frequenting the bar. The staff should give thanks that he ‘let them win’ at pool. A lot.
Wombat, 3 Amigos – good to see you! If you have any tales for us – get writing!
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  • Thai Massage – In Italy

I have only ever had 1 Thai Massage. It was in soi 4 and I suspect it wasn’t a traditional Thai massage as I ended up having to take a shower at the end to clean the sperm off my torso. My sperm that is.

Walking along a street in Milan the other day I spied a Thai Massage parlor that advertised ‘traditional Thai massage’. There was an old lady coming out of the door, so assuming she didn’t work there, I deduced that she was there for a massage and not to get wanked off.

In I popped. It was like stepping into Thailand. Various pictures of the King, several gold trinkets hanging all over the place and a woman on a computer. I was taken downstairs in the labyrinth and shown a room. Told to strip and put on a pair of paper pants. The masseuse, then left the room so I coulf de-clothe (and slap my todger around so that it didn’t look all cold and small) In hindsight… I now realize these were for women, as my nutsack was on display. For the next 20 mins the girl (woman mid-30’s) proceeded to massage me with some non-aromatic oil. It was fairly pleasant, but I can’t say that it made me feel good or it relaxed any muscles. At no point was my todger brushed against or pointed at. There was no small talk and at no point was the feeling that I would be covering the walls with DW sperm. When the girl finished, she handed me a towel, pointed at the shower cubical and left the room. After I had showered and dressed, she returned and led me back to the reception. €30 handed over. No sex. No bj. No hand job. No boner

I assume that was what a proper massage is. I can’t say I’d look for a space in my diary to fit another one in. Maybe if I was in soi 4 and feel the need to empty my ball sack, I’d go have a massage.

Where buffalo wings originated from

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  •   Round up / news gossip

Closing all around is still 2am. With the low season kicking in, you may find certain bars closing their doors a little earlier if there are no customers. Don’t be mad… it’s pointless burning electricity in an empty bar!
New hotel/hostel opened up in Soi Mango recently. Looks pretty nice. Lower floors are hostel accommodation and upper floors hotel. The room I checked out the other day with Stickman had 8 bunks in it. Aimed at the back-packer who doesn’t want to bring a girl back for the night me thinks!
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  • • Whats happening in the bar – food specials, parties?

Formula One season is upon us. The Mango will be showing all races as per normal, but will have some kind of offer at each race. I am a Schumacher fan – so if he wins a race I shall be ringing the bell like Quasi Modo.
Party. coming up in June. 4th Year Anniversary. Should be a big one. If we can think of a reason for a party in May, we’ll have one

The usual daily specials….
Mondays – Beer Lao 79bht
Tuesdays – Beer Chang 79bht
Wednesdays – Beer Leo – 79bht
Thursdays – Heineken – 89bht
Fridays – San Mig.Light 89bht
Saturday – Tiger Pint Draught 99bht
Sunday – Heineken Pint Draught 99bht
Hamburger / Cheeseburger 89 / 99bht (find a better value burger if you can!)
Upstairs at the Mango we have a party room. Open party nights and any night you want if you have a group. Just ask… we can supply all your needs!

without padlocks, the girls soon broke free

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  • Up coming events (sports)

Footy – All major football matches can be seen at the Mango. Just ask!
Formula One –13th April – Chinese GP If Schui wins… free drinks!
Some Irish Rugby Match this month…. 19th?
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Got something to say? bigmangobar@hotmail.com

– please, as the next publication is gonna look pretty sparse!

24 thoughts on “Mango Fortnightly 2nd May”

  1. Off the top of my head, my first contribution is in the form of a suggestion. I’d suggest that you either (1) rename the fortnightly post; or (2) post it a month earlier. Reading the April 2nd fortnightly blog at the beginning of May just confuses me…
    :p

    1. Fair point WW… It was a typo (my 1st attempt at the fortnightly was in April, but too much time passed so had to scrap it)

      Started to receive some input via e-mail. Thanks.

  2. No green background? Weak. 🙂 Best of luck churning them out. It’s tough to do but I’m sure people will appreciate your efforts.

  3. Add more pics of bar action or girls. Pic’s takes up more space and make articles seem longer than they really are sometimes. 😉

    1. Batanha – Noted. Will do. Anyone roving photographers out there what want to send any photos in, please do so.

      pmmp – I need an I.T man that can help. Do you know any? 😉

  4. You really need to get out and get a real Thai massage minus the happy ending sometime in Thailand… Shit works wonders, just try to do it before the bender starts. Nothing like getting all those chemicals released from your muscles back into your blood stream. I have left a few massage spots with a serious fever…

    Did you keep the paper underwear for a souvenir?

    1. ROLLN – I think they kept them for the next customer. If I was taking souvenirs, I’d have tried for the cash register.

  5. No shit for €30 you gotta have something to show for it aside from the frown….I seem to remember this boyishly handsome lad that used to do IT along time ago? I’ll see if he’s still around, I’ve also got a project that could use an expert! 🙂

  6. Appreciate the effort. I miss the old PMMP udates particularly the after hours update and and places to find the UNI girls and other “good girls”

    1. 8 Ball – Thanks. As I said, it’s going to heavily rely on the good roving reports/photographers out there submitting the anything of interest.

      This is all about the fun. The format will change into something nice looking at some point, but right now that’s the best I can do with my very limited knowledge of I.T stuff. – to me, it’s still all magic.

      I can’t be in town all the time, so I need the nightcrawlers out there to let us know where the late night haunts are.

      Incidentally, I’ve had people e-mail me asking to advertise on the site. I told them to poke it as this is for the readers. This isn’t about making money – it’s about having somewhere to come and talk shit – share tales and maybe hook up with some like-minded mongers. (preferably in the Mango 😉 )

  7. Where is Smitty when you need him? For a period he was writing every day, always going for a trifecta.

    Trying to make it for a week beginning of June, but with fares at ~$1700 for the “right” flight don’t know if I’ll swing it since I only would have a week.

    1. dogfly – where are the readers submissions when you need them?

      Only a week? ONLY? I once flew into Bangkok from London for 2 nights. There will be a Mango Party in June… a big one!

  8. DW, roll on June, hope you can post the party dates early, (will be out on parole soon) any hint on the theme or social etiquette requirements.

    1. RainMan June 9th. Not too sure of details yet… got to speak with the lady who holds the purse strings… but expect a return of the 20bht pints and free food, shots, scantily clad bimbos.. the usual. June 9th

  9. Great stuff, will be there for sure, jus sent u another short story, (a true one) 🙂 hope u can use it.

    1. Thanks RainMan. YOU may have saved the blog (for another week anyway) as we need readers submissions. If we have no one contributing, then I may have to look closely at that ‘off’ button on my computer!

  10. Three 25 year old twins dressed in latex are trying to suck my dick and are insiting on unabated anal sex, I reluctanty refuse and contine to contribute, that’s just the sort of guy I am. Oi, hang on, three, what a bunch of liars.

  11. I hear you DWdub, I started writing one back in ’07 or ’08, but not a writer the likes of YP, Rollin, WW etc..

    Maybe one day, just I don’t have the same memory recall after getting tor in the Land.

    I waited till Tues. and Eva had dropped to ~$1300, I may just make it for 7 days, when is the partaee?

    BTW: I thought you were a OSX IT type working around Burbank

    1. dogfly – we all got to start somewhere!

      btw : what is OSX IT and where is Burbank? Is that in soi 4?

  12. I am still waiting on you good folk to send me shit for the next Mango Fortnightly!

    – I need to know about after hours closures and the like.

    Don’t let this (planned) regular feature fall at the 1st hurdle!!

  13. The Queens Head is open till 10.30 – no gogo dancers in tonight (or indeed any night) – any help?

    1. DB.. I said ‘send’ it to me!

      Pop quiz.. what will you read instead of this blog when it’s turned off due to lack of content? 😉

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