Welcome! Allow me to introduce the fortnightly update of goings on in and around the Mango.
It’s not the Mango Weekly that pmmp would churn out each week, but just a little informative piece to keep all you lovely people up to speed, sitting at your desks, on a train, in a bar or on the crapper.
Participation is welcomed and encouraged! If you have any tidbits then please send them into firstname.lastname@example.org This isn’t stickman or any other big sites, it’s just a bit of drivel to keep you amused for 5 mins and will hopefully encourage you to ‘get involved’….
Please don’t give me shit about the format. It’ll most likely change each week. I am not an I.T man and it’s not like I am getting paid for this.. I am making all this shit up as I go along… just for you guys! You’d have thought will all these supposed I.T people around, they’d have offered to help with my I.T issues … you know who you are 👿
- Opener../ Intro
Not unlike Stickman and the original weekly, we’ll start with an opener or something of interest.
Songkran is now behind us. If you’re like me, you’ll be glad to see the back of it for another year. I only endured a couple days and to be honest, I could have probably put up with it had it have only been a little squirting here and there. But, drenching poor folk and then chucking (coloured) power all over you and thus ruining your Quality Fabrics – well.. it’s just no fun.
It seems that the death toll on the roads during Songkran week is around 320 – which is not good at all.
Talking to a Thai girl the other day – after she was soaked by some Farang, she said it was all out of hand now. I told her to lighten up. After all, if God wanted them to stop getting drenched, and start respecting water – then he would have sent a clear message.
- Comings and Goings
The Mango would like to say farewell to New Yiok Brothers – they were in town for a few weeks and held a party on the second floor of the Mango with a bunch of girls. A good time was had by all.
Good to meet Phoenix who was in town and frequenting the bar. The staff should give thanks that he ‘let them win’ at pool. A lot.
Wombat, 3 Amigos – good to see you! If you have any tales for us – get writing!
- Thai Massage – In Italy
I have only ever had 1 Thai Massage. It was in soi 4 and I suspect it wasn’t a traditional Thai massage as I ended up having to take a shower at the end to clean the sperm off my torso. My sperm that is.
Walking along a street in Milan the other day I spied a Thai Massage parlor that advertised ‘traditional Thai massage’. There was an old lady coming out of the door, so assuming she didn’t work there, I deduced that she was there for a massage and not to get wanked off.
In I popped. It was like stepping into Thailand. Various pictures of the King, several gold trinkets hanging all over the place and a woman on a computer. I was taken downstairs in the labyrinth and shown a room. Told to strip and put on a pair of paper pants. The masseuse, then left the room so I coulf de-clothe (and slap my todger around so that it didn’t look all cold and small) In hindsight… I now realize these were for women, as my nutsack was on display. For the next 20 mins the girl (woman mid-30’s) proceeded to massage me with some non-aromatic oil. It was fairly pleasant, but I can’t say that it made me feel good or it relaxed any muscles. At no point was my todger brushed against or pointed at. There was no small talk and at no point was the feeling that I would be covering the walls with DW sperm. When the girl finished, she handed me a towel, pointed at the shower cubical and left the room. After I had showered and dressed, she returned and led me back to the reception. €30 handed over. No sex. No bj. No hand job. No boner
I assume that was what a proper massage is. I can’t say I’d look for a space in my diary to fit another one in. Maybe if I was in soi 4 and feel the need to empty my ball sack, I’d go have a massage.
- Round up / news gossip
Closing all around is still 2am. With the low season kicking in, you may find certain bars closing their doors a little earlier if there are no customers. Don’t be mad… it’s pointless burning electricity in an empty bar!
New hotel/hostel opened up in Soi Mango recently. Looks pretty nice. Lower floors are hostel accommodation and upper floors hotel. The room I checked out the other day with Stickman had 8 bunks in it. Aimed at the back-packer who doesn’t want to bring a girl back for the night me thinks!
- • Whats happening in the bar – food specials, parties?
Formula One season is upon us. The Mango will be showing all races as per normal, but will have some kind of offer at each race. I am a Schumacher fan – so if he wins a race I shall be ringing the bell like Quasi Modo.
Party. coming up in June. 4th Year Anniversary. Should be a big one. If we can think of a reason for a party in May, we’ll have one
The usual daily specials….
Mondays – Beer Lao 79bht
Tuesdays – Beer Chang 79bht
Wednesdays – Beer Leo – 79bht
Thursdays – Heineken – 89bht
Fridays – San Mig.Light 89bht
Saturday – Tiger Pint Draught 99bht
Sunday – Heineken Pint Draught 99bht
Hamburger / Cheeseburger 89 / 99bht (find a better value burger if you can!)
Upstairs at the Mango we have a party room. Open party nights and any night you want if you have a group. Just ask… we can supply all your needs!
- Up coming events (sports)
Footy – All major football matches can be seen at the Mango. Just ask!
Formula One –13th April – Chinese GP If Schui wins… free drinks!
Some Irish Rugby Match this month…. 19th?
Got something to say? email@example.com
– please, as the next publication is gonna look pretty sparse!