Mango Fortnightly – 16th May


Second installment is upon us….  It’s been a pretty good few weeks at the Mango.  A group of guys from the US Military descended upon us.  We have a good relationship with all Forces who are always welcome.   Guys, thanks for stopping by and we look forward to seeing you again.

It’s the time of year when the bar is quiet.  Most of our loyal friends live outside Thailand. Some of the more fortunate of you visit several times a year.  Some of you can only visit every so often.  Either way, we appreciate your loyalty.       We are not in the business for the money. There isn’t any!  We don’t enforce any kind of drinks quotas on the service girls who then in turn hassle the customers.  There is no hard sell and no salary cuts.  These ingredients all add to the fun and friendly atmosphere at the bar.

Now for the blog…..  it takes time to put this all together.  It takes time to filter out all the daily spam and delete the abusive rantings of idiots.   It takes time to proof read YP’s stories to ensure the innocent are not offended.    With my workload increasing and my spare time decreasing, I find myself having to ask myself if I want to continue the Big Mango Blog.  Statistics are up on last year, but Readers stories are down.  I am no Smitty and don’t have the brains or  creativity to post every few days.  I don’t have the I.T knowledge to put something together in record time that a desktop publisher would be proud of.  I just can’t do it I am sorry to say.  The only reason I keep this going is out of loyalty to contributers.  The people that are sitting at their desks right now with a coffee having a 5 min break from reality.

So I ask of you.  All of you, help me out a little.  Get creative.  Tales, jokes, snippits, reviews.. send them in.    When the day comes when there is nothing to fill these pages with, I shall not let the blog just sit in cyberspace getting filled with spam and keyboard warriors.  It’ll just get switched off and the bar info page will be all that is left of this blog.


  • At your service…..

One thing we like to pride ourselves in at the Mango is our Personal Service.  You’ll not hear yourself being called a ‘customer’, but a ‘guest’.   Our patrons are our guests, and more often than not, our guests become our friends.

When you come to the Mango, there are many things we can offer apart from the usual bar stuff.  If you want someone to talk to, we can be your ear to bend.  If you want someone to play pool with, then prepare to get beaten at pool.  If you need a hotel for the night, the staff will be happy to recommend one and even make the reservations for you, and, if you crap your pants, we have even been knows to clean you up and see that you get home safely.  It’s what we do.

My favorite part of the being in the Mango is when we get the chance to take someone, or a group on a little tour of the surroundings.  For all you veterans out there thinking what’s the big deal, let me explain.

When a newbie walks through a gogo door, the girls don’t leave the guy they’re with and come and wai you.  The Mamasan doesn’t come over and wai you.  The bartenders don’t shake your hands and the owner/manager doesn’t come and buy you and your group a drink.

The reason for this is because when the Mango has a party, we hire girls.  When the Mango crew hits the Plaza, we spend a lot of money.  When the Mango goes out, we make a point of saying hello to other owners and giving them custom.   For several years, the Mango has built up a good relationship with many other bars.  We know that we’re never going to keep a guest in their seat all night, so we make every effort in recommending their next port of call, and even take them there also.  For this, the other bar owners welcome us and our guests in a way that makes the encounter memorable. Each time, our guests have come back to the Mango to reaffirm their loyalty.

I’ll not spoil the fun by telling you what a few hour tour of the Plaza entails when you come for a stroll with the Mango crew… come and see for yourselves

Remember the Duke of Wellington?  If you do, then you may remember the Thai Manager ‘Kwan’.   Kwan is now the big cheese at the Big Mango Bar.  She knows her stuff.  She takes no shit and you’ll be a fool to mess with her!  If it wasn’t for Kwan, the Mango would be no more.  I have learned a lot from the wonderful Kwan. Now,   when I am in town, I spend a lot of time entertaining folk around the Plaza. It’s a tough job but hey, I love to do it.  So it was of no surprise when Kwan told me that as soon as I was in a cab to the airport, she was taking our Army boys on a Nana tour!  Great!!   Kwan knows the people I know, and I am sure provides the same level of entertainment as me.  So if you fancy a Nana tour – just ask Kwan (aka Nightwalker!)

One thing though.. she doesn’t know about Lolitas, so lads, let me do the tour of that one.


  • Comings and Goings

As mentioned above, the Mango would like to say farewell to U.S Forces guys that happened upon the Mango last week.  We have a good relationship the force, be that the Ozzies, Americans, Brits.  A good bunch.  Most of all we like the French Foreign Legion – mainly because none of them are French

Their Military training taught them to blend in with their surroundings

Welcome ‘Craig’.  Newbie to the Mango and blog reader.  Challenged the girls to pool but didn’t have them scared!  Hope you had a good time.

Many happy returns to Rick Masters who flew into Bangkok last weekend to party like a rockstar.

Looking forward to ROLLN hitting town.  Looks like our paths will not cross this time.  You have our number.  Call it if you need someone to bail you out!

I got an e-mail from Derek the other day who is going to be in town on a stop-over for 8 hours and was hoping to use the Mango as his base camp!   I have Jonas on stand-by for when you get to the Mango to have a few refreshing cold ones and to be a wingman.   Sorry to have missed you.

Doc Bond will be arriving in a week.  The staff are all ready with the orange juice.


  • New Story this week

Thailand’s government seeks to get a head start on improving road safety

If you’re a visitor to Thailand who likes to do as the locals do, you may board one of the motorbikes that whisk the country’s inhabitants from one golden beach to the next. But in the process, you may pick up some less desirable local habits, such as ignoring traffic rules, ditching the helmet and having a drink or two before setting off.

Big mistake. Thailand ranks worst in the world for motorbike and two-wheeler casualties, with more than 11,000 motorbike drivers or passengers dying annually. Official statistics suggest such incidents account for 70% of the country’s road fatalities.

Many die because they don’t wear a helmet. According to a Médecins sans Frontières report, unhelmeted riders in Thailand are between two and three times more likely to be killed, and three times likelier to suffer a “disastrous outcome”.

Thailand’s government introduced a “year of the helmet” in 2010 and is following up with a 100% helmet use campaign to highlight the danger of riding unprotected. Both schemes are part of an ambitious “master plan on road safety” aimed at hitting the UN target – set by the organisation’s decade of action for road safety (pdf) – of fewer than 10 deaths per 100,000 people.

Yet Thailand remains wildly off the mark; only 47% of those driving or riding pillion wear helmets. Official figures suggest neighbouring Asian countries fare little better, with motorbikes accounting for 61% of fatalities in Indonesia, 58% in Malaysia and 62.8% in Cambodia.

If only they wore a helmet......


  • Round up / news gossip

Closing all around is still 2am.   With the low season kicking in, you may find certain bars closing their doors earlier than the 2am.

Incoming……(e-mails sent in)

If a hooker has sex against her will, is that rape or shoplifting?

Egypt are trying to bring in a new law, that lets a husband have sex with his wife upto 6 hours after she’d died.    This leads to ‘normal’ folk asking themselves the question ‘would you’?
– Would I?  Depends how badly she was burned in the fire that killed her.

Anyone know where this is?

Just to spice things up I said to my wife, “we’ll do a bit of role playing tonight.  She was well up for it.  So I said “you dress up like Whitney Houston and I’ll run you a bath..”

Stumbled across this website.  A shining example of mixed races in the workplace

Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’
Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’
Wife: ‘Yes or no.’

  • Whats happening in the bar – food specials, parties?

We’ve been smashing stuff up in the bar again.  This time we’ve made the bar longer.   Why? I hear you ask?  Well, I can’t really call it a complaint, but the other week, we literally had a full bar and there was nowhere for me to sit.  I am either doing something right, or something wrong when I can’t even get a seat in the Mango. – So, the Mango ‘Nightwalker’ and her team set about the modifications after closing – and opened the next day with an extended bar and more seating.  I hope to once again be hoofed out of my seat due to too many people in there!

Nice to see we get a mention in Suk Psyco website.  For those of you who don’t know it – it’s a site full of reviews of gogos and nightlife.   Not so nice to hear that our girls are ‘non-lookers’.  But then he goes on to mention that we only have 2 pool tables, quotes the wrong price of our beers and isn’t too complimentary about our burgers.  I challenge you to find a better burger for the same price!

Ummhmmm... that IS a tasty burger

You can have a burger like this one – if you wanna pay the price.

Party. coming up on June 9th.   4th Year Anniversary.  Should be a big one.  Sticking with the ‘4’ as a theme.. there will be Pints offered at 40bht.    There will be things  like buy 4, get one free.. and a whole of other ‘4’ related stuff if we can think of it.

I believe the food being on give-away will be.. Chicken Tikka Masala.  Love it!




The usual daily specials….

Mondays – Beer Lao 79bht

Tuesdays – Beer Chang 79bht

Wednesdays – Beer Leo – 79bht

Thursdays – Heineken – 89bht

Fridays – San Mig.Light 89bht

Saturday – Tiger Pint Draught 99bht

Sunday – Heineken Pint Draught 99bht

Hamburger  / Cheeseburger   89 / 99bht  (find a better value burger if you can!)

Upstairs at the Mango we have a party room.  Open party nights and any night you want if you have a group.  Just ask… we can supply all your needs!


* Up coming events (sports)

I am sure there are all kinds of sports on….  Just ask!

Formula One – 27th May – Monaco GP   If Schui or Kimi wins…  free drinks!


Got something to say?


23 thoughts on “Mango Fortnightly – 16th May”

  1. Daywalker, have you confirmed the date for the anniversary party? Last I read was some time around June 8th or 9th.

  2. CTG – June 9th is the party. There will be a separate post about it soon – I am just waiting on some final details.

  3. I hope you keep the fortnightly updates going. It’s a good read and something most (any?) other bars don’t do. I used to frequent the ‘Old’ Mango but just couldn’t settle in the new place with the sparten appearance. But your fortnightly has made me think again and I’ll pop in on Sunday before letting a friend at Spanky’s entertain me.
    A note on helmets – my observation is that 99 percent don’t wear a helmet, in Bangkok at least. Usually only the motocy drivers do. In Bali, 99 percent DO wear them. Just a different attitude to the law and its enforcement. The police here probably reckon that they get paid anyway, so why bother working.

  4. “A group of guys from the US Military descended upon us” – did everything suddenly become ‘awesome’ ?
    Yup – wheels up in a week – touchdown in a week+1…. can’t wait

  5. Did a couple of all nighters this week. As after hours is concerned, Insomnia Bangkok is king in my book. There were plenty of freelancers, the club itself is modern and looks like what you would expect a nightclub in Bangkok should look like. Saw a few hardbody coyote dancers that I wouldn’t have minded tapping with extreme prejudice, if it wasn’t for the 2 Issan hotties my buddy and I came in with. There were the usual drunk tourists dancing on podiums but you get that. Music was club mainstream and the girls love it.

    Spicy is dead. There was fuckall people in the place and 4 people dancing on the stage – all dudes. I had one drink and headed for the door. I prefer the old Spicy, before the renovations but maybe I’m just feeling nostaligic. If your into after hours do yourself a favour and and go some place else I think everyones heading to Insomnia now anyway. I checked out Shock and saw a fight between two girls on the stage. Another drunk farang guy got in the middle of it and found himself surrounded by security. He made the mistake of arguing with them and got air lifted and carried outta the place. Was fucking hilarious. Lotta arab dudes and russian freelancers there too which might put you off.

    I hit up Swing around 6am and the place was rammed with bitches and desparadoes. Got pretty cunted and ended up leaving around 7. Think I slept for 10 hours afterwards.

  6. Well, I went solo all day on Monday. Checked in, hit the gym then the mango around 4. Then a few out front of the plaza and I was off to Eden for a 3 pack! Yes I did! A blur from there on. Didn’t really attempt to contact anyone as I had less than 24 hours to rip it. Levitated my mattress to other corner of the room again, poor girl. Got to the inlaws sleepless and cialis puffed next day. Got caught smoking a fatty by mom dukes. But she laughed at me. And that’s how that story should end! But it doesn’t, I made clear to wifey that on may 28th she is on her own at moms as I will be raging with boys for at least two weeks! Her being 4 months pregged she couldn’t resist my charm and is on board with my plan! Point to rolln

  7. “Variety is the Spice of Life” and your new thoughts on the format of the blog do just that. The post now all read the same. Drugs, drunkey benders, screwing the most hookers in one night. Ladyboys (all though not so much anymore) I reckon that most of the readers are not into that crap. So they don’t want to post something more moderate. Like for example where one finds the greatest volume of pretty “good girls” This we are interested. Even the perverts are interested in UNI Girls. So many of the posts are too long. Many are too long. What’s wrong with a short story or a short comment or question? That prompts reasonable exchanges. This will bring about more particpation. So good to hear about your new format idea hope it works for you (and Us)

    Can’t say I agree with your “Personal Service” comments. I just don’t feel it. I have been at the Old Mango and at the Soft and Hard Opennings of the New Mango, i go to have Turkey on Thanksgiving (good stuff) and I can tell you that I am mostly ignored all of the time. (not bathing comments please) that is just my honest feeling about the staff. So when I want a change from Guillivers every 2 weeks or so I come over for a beer and a burger. which are great. If i were not for the blog i think that I would forget about the BIG MANGO BAR completely. So spice up the blog with variety as it will really help posts and business

  8. Oh one more thing. Because you have so few posters now. It seems as though it is a close group. Sort of like Mekong Kurt and his oldies and how all of his “rounds” talk nonsense about this small circle. the Mango blog is starting to look the same way. The same types, the same comments about the “in grouP’. So a story about the military coming in to visit or the old couple several months ago is better than reading the regulars talk about each other on every comments. You can only push the YP “ladyboy gag” so much then it becomes a bore. My guess is that great silent majority agrees with me on these 2 replies

    1. 8 Ball, You say that it’s a ‘closed group’ yet you say that because you are seeing the same people post and comment. Yet when a new guy submits a post, YOU were very negative towards them. Like I’ve said, if you can do better, then please – we’re all waiting.

      While I can agree a little about people wanting to meet ‘good girls’… let’s not forget why we’re here. It’s Nana. It’s exciting. Get over it. Most of us here want to escape the ‘good girl’ and have some fun and excitement. We can always get good girls at home.

      As for the Customer Service, I can agree that the OLD MANGO was not up on the service. Which is why none of the old staff are at the Mango. We’ve had many changes. The new staff are totally different.

      Like I’ve said, and I’ll say again – this blog relies on the readership giving feedback and submitting ‘anything’ so that we keep it fresh. For those that have been doing this, I thank-you. And when you’re in the bar I will happily buy you drinks until you are drunk. For those of you like yourself, that want entertaining, are critical of others, yet contribute nothing yourself, then think about what you’ve said – ‘Spice up the blog with some variety’. – I look forward to your contributions.

  9. Appreciate your efforts. A good read. I like the chaos of soi4 and nana.

    Sitting in my office in blighty with it pissing down outside thinking back to it with the help of this blog! thanks! – classic!

  10. Agree @DanDare

    This blog brings on the memories, no matter how long/short the story or the content, at least the effort is there, be it the ‘in’ group or rank outsiders, it’s all appreciated and entertainment.

    Like learning to play 8 ball, you’ll loose 100 times before you win one, but at the same time strike up friendships with the help of those that are better than yourself and hopefuly uncritical, otherwise it turns into a shit game.

    Appreciate your work DW.

  11. @ 8 ball, mate I’ll spare you what I’m really thinking but WTF dude! Is this world here for your exclusive enjoyment?
    As far as your cold atmosphere experiences at the Mango let me tell you a little something I’ve learned when in Thai company. I have about $25k worth of dental work needed and as a consequence I seldom smile. A good friend once pointed out that Thai people don’t respond well if you appear unfriendly. I would experience similar vibes while in other places and the Mango (if the new faces didn’t know me yet) and I found a simple solution to this, just say hello and crack my best grin and all has been peaches since! I make it out to BKK about 3 or 4 times a year (I’m a lucky guy, I know) and I’ve noticed some of the BKK residents that frequent the Mango will show up with books or laptops or what ever and the staff will usually leave them alone. I call that respectful and dare I say polite? If you show up, plop down at a table in the corner, break out a computer or news paper, look up to place your order and don’t smile or say thank you when someone addresses you, guess what? You should be ignored yet they still will treat you as a guest! I can’t speak for anyone other than myself but I have rang the bell a time or two, and I’ve played atleast one game of pool with every staff member, aside from the kitchen crew, and to my best recall I haven’t required any serious assistance or clean up (yet), so all and all I feel the staff views me as a good guy to have sitting at the bar and some staff have become friends… I wish we all could find what we are seeking every moment but sometimes our expectations are too high or our view is clouded by something else…I beg your pardon but I suspect yours is the latter, BTW my name is Ron, I’m mid 40’s, about 180cm/80kg, shortish medium brown with grey fringes and I’ll be sitting in the 2 or 3rd seat on the righthand side of the bar watching the lovely miss Tim tend to her duties! Please feel free to join me, first round will be mine mate!
    @ DW Thanks for your ” fourtnightly” it is very cool to catch up regularly although WTF does fourtnightly mean? Fucking Brits speaking English!

  12. nR.. what is a Fortnight… well let me explain. Remember that rash you got after that drunken night in Casanova with YP? Well, you had to take them pills to get rid of it. From the day you started, to the time it cleared up – was a fortnight 😉

  13. @Rainman: “The Free blow job with first drink” is in a bar in Pattaya near the the beach. I understand she will also lick dry your roasted nuts.

  14. Writing this FROM the Mango, I hope you keep it up. Also hope to actually see you one of these trips. Starting to think you’re a figment of Jonas’ imagination 🙂

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