Mango Fortnightly – 18th June

Editorial

Greeting and salutations. These weeks past fast. Last Saturday was our Party. It went pretty well considering the time of year and many of our regulars being out of Country. Many new faces and some old. It’s no secret that the Mango has undergone many changes inside and also patron wise. We made the mistake of starting too cheap and too early. Still… it was all good

Thanks to all those that turned out in support.  As stated before, it’s you guys that make the Mango the friendly, fun community that it is.

Like an R Kelly song, there were various things going on after the party. And after the party there was the hotel lobby…The high-light being the Manny Pacquiao fight being shown at 8am Sunday morning. We asked the chaps at the newly opened GAME to see if they were showing the Manny fight. They were not. Damn. Someone must be showing it? Many calls and SMS’s later – we were told that no one is showing it. Fear not though, the reception at Rolln’s 5* crib said we could watch the fight on the hotel system. We’re good. With a load of carry out booze, we headed for the suite.

Rolln’s suite was no stranger to parties. Rolln had been there a few days already. The bar (note I didn’t prefix that ‘mini’) had already been cleaned out. There were a few 7-11 sandwiches in the kitchen and various girls sleeping in various bedrooms. Girls were of no use to us –neither were the 7-11 sandwiches (what the fuck is Bologneise doing in a sandwich anyway?) in our quest to see the Manny fight.

Lots of drinking, swearing, reminiscing of Mike Tyson in his prime, ball scratching a farting took up the next 3-4 hours. Nearing the time of the fight, we called down stairs to ask them what channel, as we were sure it was pay-per-view and they’d need to punch some code in. The told us they’d send up an Engineer. Wow. That’s good service. In he came, took the remote and selected channel 7 and left.

He must have thought we were dumb. Looking at the screen, it didn’t look like there was to be a fight soon… or even a sports channel. An hour passed and another Engineer arrived. He flicked through the channels looking at the screen like it was some kind of magic. Manny Pacquiao. The guy didn’t know what we were saying… he just kept saying ‘5 mins… 5 mins’. We were not convinced. YP tried to imitate a boxer and started shadow-boxing saying ‘Manny’. I don’t think he was convincing. After a few mins, the guy said ‘this channel, 5 mins’ and left the suite. After 5 mins, the program started. And when I say ‘program’.. it was actually Pokemon! For 30 mins we watched Pokemon and not at any point did Pokemon start fighting.

The reception ACTUALLY thought that a bunch of (lets be honest, not the friendliest of looking) lads had requested to watch a cartoon early hours of the morning whilst drinking like fish.
Maybe we’re not the big pary go-ers that we though, rather than a bunch of pansies!
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• Comings and Goings

YP is still with us – just. With many of us out of town, we’re hoping that YP sill have now clamed down.
Rainman has left us to continue his trip around S.E Asia. Good luck to him and all those who drink with him.
‘Bruce’ arrived the other day – and jumped straight into bed with a girl who looked like a Koala Bear – thought he’d come to BKK from Australia to get away from them?

Rolln and his gang. Eli and Seir left last week. Eli, as we know had a prank played on him so he missed his flight. Seir got rather drunk on his last night and didn’t wake up in time to catch his flight. Now, Rolln was actually meant to go to the airport at the same time as Seir, so you’d have thought that Rolln might have raised the alarm bells when he realised he was the only one in the taxi on the way to the airport?

= Nah…. Too funny if the flight was missed!

Fender is due in this week.  That means carnage for someone.  Good to see him back!

Farewell to Doc Bond. Safe travels…catch you next time for some more O.J

Arriving on Thursday – KhunKunta.  Welcome.  YP has been saving his kidneys for your arrival.
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• Tale of the week.

I’ve changed the names here – to protect the guilty.
There I was sitting on my bed around 6pm having just put a DVD on. The phone rings… ‘Dude.. I need your help. I am being held by a Tranny in her room and she’ll not let me go until I cough up 5k’

Can’t you just knock her out and leave? – I ask. Nope. She has a meat cleaver. Damn. Well, I’ve just started watching a DVD, so I’ll make some calls and have you released within 15 mins. I made a call and had someone go to the reception where the kid was exchanged for 5k. We could have argued the fee, but with the kid having been slinging one up her back for the past 24 hours, we thought 5k would cover her emotional distress.

Roll on a week. I get another call. Same kid. Same Tranny. Same situation. Only this time, she was demanding 20k. Right, I’ll deal with this. In my company we Seir and Bruce. I asked them if they were up for some action – and they were. I called the kid, told him I was on the way and shit was about to get real. If he was not released, we’ll happily bring the cops with us.

He advised against that, as there was various illegal contraband in the Trannys room that he didn’t want to get blamed for. To me, that told me that the Tranny would not want the cops their either. There goes the 20k she demanded. I had my ‘people’ give the Tranny a call and told her how is was going to be. Release the kid and stop making trouble, or we’ll unleash more trouble than she could possible imagine. My people even told the Tranny of her fate, should she not do as told.

The gang and I arrived at the apartment building and called up. I told him to tell them I was downstairs with some cash. One of the hostage takers came downstairs to meet me. She was not expecting 3 angry faces that met her. We all got in the lift and told her to take us to the room where the kid was being held. Seir was flying out the next morning, so had no problems with smashing someone up. We arrived at the door which was open a little. Seir kicked it open and we all went in. ‘Kid’, on your feet, we’re leaving. Looking at the Tranny, she was a broken figure in the corner crying like a little girl.

Before Angry Birds, there was Angry dudes.

If I am honest, in the elevator, I was trying to remember the words that Samuel L Jackson recited in Pulp Fiction.  It would have been perfect for the occasion.

We looked around the place with the intent on smashing it all up as a lesson to her – but we didn’t think she’d notice. The kid was dumb to return. He was also dumb to spend all day shooting his sperm all over the place. All’s fair in love and war, so I handed the Tranny some cash to cover the cost of condoms and lipsticks that had been used by the kid. We left. Not to return.

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• Incoming e-mails this week.

This sent in by a reader. I met him one night at the bar when he was getting a load of shit from his wife. Hopefully it went well!.

At 1st I thought the Eden Club was closing

 

 

 

 

 

Another chap on the e-mail told me how he just finished an Anger Management course that he had to attend for a year. One has to ask themselves exactly how good it this course if it takes a year to control your anger? That’d just make me even more angry.

 

3 people spotted playing this in the Mango this week. Really? Is it that good?

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• Round up / news gossip

Game is now open. Apparently it’s a 24hour bar?!! Cool! I went there on the Grand Opening. The place looks nice, the staff a bit unorganised, but it was the 1st night, so that’s to be expected.

Walking past Lolitas the other day with my GF and the cute little daughter – had all the lolitas girls waving and saying hello. Luckily, I convinced my girl that all the skanks were waving at the daughter!

Nana looking pretty quiet recently. Anglewitch busy as always. Spankys seems to draw a good crowd also.

Nana liquid has been looking rather sparse lately. Was in there the other night with the gang.. not much in the way of freelancer action. The boys had to call-in instead.

Each night we’ve been hitting Straps. Rolln and the gang hit it pretty hard one night, ringing the bell like Quasi Modo and dropping money like Michael J Fox drops juggling balls. Needless to say, the next day all the dancers didn’t show up for work – having earned their som tam money that night!

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• Whats happening in the bar – food specials, parties?

YP seems to have installed himself at the Mango and isn’t showing any signs of leaving. That being the case, and also so we can keep an eye on him, we’ve tasked him with hanging out at the bar as a kind of ‘mascot’! Should you want to meet the little scroat or talk about ‘Lady-fellas’ and god knows what else – then he can be found in the bar somewhere.

The usual daily specials….
Mondays – Beer Lao 79bht
Tuesdays – Beer Chang 79bht
Wednesdays – Beer Leo – 79bht
Thursdays – Heineken – 89bht
Fridays – San Mig.Light 89bht
Saturday – Tiger Pint Draught 99bht
Sunday – Heineken Pint Draught 99bht
Hamburger / Cheeseburger 89 / 99bht (find a better value burger if you can!)
Upstairs at the Mango we have a party room. Open party nights and any night you want if you have a group. Just ask… we can supply all your needs!

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* Up coming events (sports)

We are showing all the Euro games at the Mango – well, the ones that are on during opening hours.

Wimbledon – just ask.

European F1 – 24th June

Got something to say? bigmangobar@hotmail.com

24 thoughts on “Mango Fortnightly – 18th June”

  1. Pokemon, that’s priceless, got to watch the Manny fight through P2P4U sports streaming site, although lost the signal after the 8th round. Rematch for sure.

  2. Popped into the Mango last night for burger & beer. Sure ’nuff, there was Penfold, still sober enough to operate the laptop and read about UFC. We chatted while I ate my dinner. Before the night was over, WCDave and BBB dropped in and it was like reunion night at the Mango. In an unprecedented occurrence, YP was the first to throw in the towel, saying he was tired and needed some sleep. I popped into NEP on my own; had a drink at Las Vegas and Straps before giving up and heading home to sleep around 1 a.m. Las Vegas was a bit quiet, and the girls a bit average, but Straps was happenin’ even if I wasn’t. Slept right through my alarm this morning, but manged to make it to work on time… barely.

    1. I am sure WW has his own views, but I know the Straps team pretty well. Well enough to ensure they are always welcoming and friendly. They have some nice lookers there also, but they don’t last long before they are fined and off.

      Attitude of the girls is pretty good. Just remember to give them a big smile!

  3. Straps is my preferred go-go in NEP. There is some fairly decent looking fluff. Dirty to boot. Dirty is in reference to the morals of the girls, not the cleanliness of the amenities. For anyone who didnt know, they also own Jersey Bar on the corner of soi 6 too.

  4. @KK: It’s been 2 am closing for a few months now, I believe.

    The Straps ladies are, indeed, a cut above — especially for a rather small venue. I have always found them generally attractive, easily approachable, and open to any reasonable offer.

    It’s on the WW “recommended list”.

  5. Wish I at the YP rescue mission. Instead I was sweating it out at the in-laws in Issan while being ignored by wifey for my antics! Antics is a nice way to put it!

    That Pokemon thing is something I won’t soon forget. Laughing now just thinking of it!

    1. Rolln… at no point was YP’s name mentioned. How on earth did you break my ‘code’? 🙂

      – Don’t worry, I am sure there will be many more rescue missions. And I have the address now, so we can take a cab and stop off at Starbucks on the way.

  6. Just as ROLLN and his bandits leave town, I catch wind that KhunKhunta gets in to BKK tonight. This boy could drink George Best under the table (in the days before he went all old and dead). This will not end well….

  7. Saturday evening party might have been great but you must do something about the staff and service and attitude of the daytime staff. It is HORRENDOUS!! That boy/girl?? (whatever it is) bartender is not only rude and indifferent but grossly incompetent. Beyond belief. Time for a change. No more daytime visits for me.
    Sorry for the negative but you have to know the truth

  8. @ 8 Ball – I’ve been in and out of the bar every couple of days for the last few weeks – the boy/girl has been consistently pleasant, never rude or incompetent – could it be that you just bring out the ‘best’ in people?
    Of course in any bar that contains Daywalker these things are all relative …

  9. So far very unimpressed with Game….

    Good idea and location but inside decor is cold and the staff are useless… None of them knew what a pint of Kilkenny was!

    Also its not open 24 hours…..

    1. What time does it open/close? I read somewhere that it was a 24hour bar?

      I guess we should give them time to establish themselves. It’s easy to be a critic.

      However, they can not be forgiven for no knowing what Kilkenny is. ITS MY FAVORITE drink 😉

      The Manager is English also, so there is no excuse!

  10. Get in town late Friday night with a mate in BKK for a few days before we’re off diving, looking forward to a beer or 10, it’s also my mates first time. So it should be good.

    1. Imprint.. a newbie??!! Oooooo we just love them! YP will be propping up the bar on Friday night Maybe you guys would like to join him on a little tour of the LB bars?
      All newbies should see that!!

  11. Yeah I have been chatting to YP about it, my mate is scared. It will be good to visit the mango again its been a couple of years for me. Still recovering from the last trip.

    1. Don’t tell him!! Pretend you didn’t know!

      – That’s what YP does every time we catch him with one!

    1. Ha!!! Buy back. Yeah.. for real. I was hoping I could return him and get a refund but he is damaged goods now.

  12. Oh so funny! I can relate with you.. I did not have the chance to watch Manny Pacquiao’s fight last time because my daughter is watching cartoons and she cries whenever I change channels.. Thanks for sharing!

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