Greeting and salutations. These weeks past fast. Last Saturday was our Party. It went pretty well considering the time of year and many of our regulars being out of Country. Many new faces and some old. It’s no secret that the Mango has undergone many changes inside and also patron wise. We made the mistake of starting too cheap and too early. Still… it was all good
Thanks to all those that turned out in support. As stated before, it’s you guys that make the Mango the friendly, fun community that it is.
Like an R Kelly song, there were various things going on after the party. And after the party there was the hotel lobby…The high-light being the Manny Pacquiao fight being shown at 8am Sunday morning. We asked the chaps at the newly opened GAME to see if they were showing the Manny fight. They were not. Damn. Someone must be showing it? Many calls and SMS’s later – we were told that no one is showing it. Fear not though, the reception at Rolln’s 5* crib said we could watch the fight on the hotel system. We’re good. With a load of carry out booze, we headed for the suite.
Rolln’s suite was no stranger to parties. Rolln had been there a few days already. The bar (note I didn’t prefix that ‘mini’) had already been cleaned out. There were a few 7-11 sandwiches in the kitchen and various girls sleeping in various bedrooms. Girls were of no use to us –neither were the 7-11 sandwiches (what the fuck is Bologneise doing in a sandwich anyway?) in our quest to see the Manny fight.
Lots of drinking, swearing, reminiscing of Mike Tyson in his prime, ball scratching a farting took up the next 3-4 hours. Nearing the time of the fight, we called down stairs to ask them what channel, as we were sure it was pay-per-view and they’d need to punch some code in. The told us they’d send up an Engineer. Wow. That’s good service. In he came, took the remote and selected channel 7 and left.
He must have thought we were dumb. Looking at the screen, it didn’t look like there was to be a fight soon… or even a sports channel. An hour passed and another Engineer arrived. He flicked through the channels looking at the screen like it was some kind of magic. Manny Pacquiao. The guy didn’t know what we were saying… he just kept saying ‘5 mins… 5 mins’. We were not convinced. YP tried to imitate a boxer and started shadow-boxing saying ‘Manny’. I don’t think he was convincing. After a few mins, the guy said ‘this channel, 5 mins’ and left the suite. After 5 mins, the program started. And when I say ‘program’.. it was actually Pokemon! For 30 mins we watched Pokemon and not at any point did Pokemon start fighting.
The reception ACTUALLY thought that a bunch of (lets be honest, not the friendliest of looking) lads had requested to watch a cartoon early hours of the morning whilst drinking like fish.
Maybe we’re not the big pary go-ers that we though, rather than a bunch of pansies!
• Comings and Goings
YP is still with us – just. With many of us out of town, we’re hoping that YP sill have now clamed down.
Rainman has left us to continue his trip around S.E Asia. Good luck to him and all those who drink with him.
‘Bruce’ arrived the other day – and jumped straight into bed with a girl who looked like a Koala Bear – thought he’d come to BKK from Australia to get away from them?
Rolln and his gang. Eli and Seir left last week. Eli, as we know had a prank played on him so he missed his flight. Seir got rather drunk on his last night and didn’t wake up in time to catch his flight. Now, Rolln was actually meant to go to the airport at the same time as Seir, so you’d have thought that Rolln might have raised the alarm bells when he realised he was the only one in the taxi on the way to the airport?
= Nah…. Too funny if the flight was missed!
Fender is due in this week. That means carnage for someone. Good to see him back!
Farewell to Doc Bond. Safe travels…catch you next time for some more O.J
Arriving on Thursday – KhunKunta. Welcome. YP has been saving his kidneys for your arrival.
• Tale of the week.
I’ve changed the names here – to protect the guilty.
There I was sitting on my bed around 6pm having just put a DVD on. The phone rings… ‘Dude.. I need your help. I am being held by a Tranny in her room and she’ll not let me go until I cough up 5k’
Can’t you just knock her out and leave? – I ask. Nope. She has a meat cleaver. Damn. Well, I’ve just started watching a DVD, so I’ll make some calls and have you released within 15 mins. I made a call and had someone go to the reception where the kid was exchanged for 5k. We could have argued the fee, but with the kid having been slinging one up her back for the past 24 hours, we thought 5k would cover her emotional distress.
Roll on a week. I get another call. Same kid. Same Tranny. Same situation. Only this time, she was demanding 20k. Right, I’ll deal with this. In my company we Seir and Bruce. I asked them if they were up for some action – and they were. I called the kid, told him I was on the way and shit was about to get real. If he was not released, we’ll happily bring the cops with us.
He advised against that, as there was various illegal contraband in the Trannys room that he didn’t want to get blamed for. To me, that told me that the Tranny would not want the cops their either. There goes the 20k she demanded. I had my ‘people’ give the Tranny a call and told her how is was going to be. Release the kid and stop making trouble, or we’ll unleash more trouble than she could possible imagine. My people even told the Tranny of her fate, should she not do as told.
The gang and I arrived at the apartment building and called up. I told him to tell them I was downstairs with some cash. One of the hostage takers came downstairs to meet me. She was not expecting 3 angry faces that met her. We all got in the lift and told her to take us to the room where the kid was being held. Seir was flying out the next morning, so had no problems with smashing someone up. We arrived at the door which was open a little. Seir kicked it open and we all went in. ‘Kid’, on your feet, we’re leaving. Looking at the Tranny, she was a broken figure in the corner crying like a little girl.
If I am honest, in the elevator, I was trying to remember the words that Samuel L Jackson recited in Pulp Fiction. It would have been perfect for the occasion.
We looked around the place with the intent on smashing it all up as a lesson to her – but we didn’t think she’d notice. The kid was dumb to return. He was also dumb to spend all day shooting his sperm all over the place. All’s fair in love and war, so I handed the Tranny some cash to cover the cost of condoms and lipsticks that had been used by the kid. We left. Not to return.
• Incoming e-mails this week.
This sent in by a reader. I met him one night at the bar when he was getting a load of shit from his wife. Hopefully it went well!.
Another chap on the e-mail told me how he just finished an Anger Management course that he had to attend for a year. One has to ask themselves exactly how good it this course if it takes a year to control your anger? That’d just make me even more angry.
• Round up / news gossip
Game is now open. Apparently it’s a 24hour bar?!! Cool! I went there on the Grand Opening. The place looks nice, the staff a bit unorganised, but it was the 1st night, so that’s to be expected.
Walking past Lolitas the other day with my GF and the cute little daughter – had all the lolitas girls waving and saying hello. Luckily, I convinced my girl that all the skanks were waving at the daughter!
Nana looking pretty quiet recently. Anglewitch busy as always. Spankys seems to draw a good crowd also.
Nana liquid has been looking rather sparse lately. Was in there the other night with the gang.. not much in the way of freelancer action. The boys had to call-in instead.
Each night we’ve been hitting Straps. Rolln and the gang hit it pretty hard one night, ringing the bell like Quasi Modo and dropping money like Michael J Fox drops juggling balls. Needless to say, the next day all the dancers didn’t show up for work – having earned their som tam money that night!
• Whats happening in the bar – food specials, parties?
YP seems to have installed himself at the Mango and isn’t showing any signs of leaving. That being the case, and also so we can keep an eye on him, we’ve tasked him with hanging out at the bar as a kind of ‘mascot’! Should you want to meet the little scroat or talk about ‘Lady-fellas’ and god knows what else – then he can be found in the bar somewhere.
The usual daily specials….
Mondays – Beer Lao 79bht
Tuesdays – Beer Chang 79bht
Wednesdays – Beer Leo – 79bht
Thursdays – Heineken – 89bht
Fridays – San Mig.Light 89bht
Saturday – Tiger Pint Draught 99bht
Sunday – Heineken Pint Draught 99bht
Hamburger / Cheeseburger 89 / 99bht (find a better value burger if you can!)
Upstairs at the Mango we have a party room. Open party nights and any night you want if you have a group. Just ask… we can supply all your needs!
* Up coming events (sports)
We are showing all the Euro games at the Mango – well, the ones that are on during opening hours.
Wimbledon – just ask.
European F1 – 24th June
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