A few days relaxing in Phuket – by Daywalker

Each year, I feel like getting away from it all and treat myself to a little holiday…

I’ve tried to persuade the girlfriend that there are many nice hotels in soi 4, but she insisted we go further afield.

After putting up a good fight, some tears, name calling, dirty dishes left in the sink, laundry thrown everywhere, she told me to grow up and stop being a big baby.  Being called a bigbaby is possibly the worst insult ever.

This was all for show really, as there is a place in Phuket that I like, and have been a few times now.  I just didn’t want to seem too keen.

‘Might-get-you-there Air’ was cheaper than soi 5 night crawler so there was plenty of money in the holiday budget for a nice hotel.  The Melisa Villa Resort was my retreat of choice.  It’s in Kata a stones throw (if you’re an Olympian) to the sea.

We were met at the airport by a smartly dressed dude who took us to a big Camry (is that the best they could do?).   We drove for what seemed like a million miles before pulling up at the rather swish looking reception.  There, sat 3 girls on a long table, on chairs with really high ‘backs’.  I don’t know what the theme was, but it looked very….. James Bond baddie type.

There was none of that form filling in… I just handed my passport over, the took a scan of it and then I signed my name.  I told them to take my gf’s signature also – as no doubt she’d be hungry in 12 minutes and would be hitting the room service.    A little golf buggy driven by a man in a white coat (Doctor?)pulled up and took us to the little villa type room thingy.   I am not sure what you’d call it.  The lounge area and kitchen was undercover but the pool next to it was open air.  Pretty swish.  All at a bargain for around 8 or 9k per night.

I missed soi 4. But not much

Inside, the bedroom had a big widescreen plasma with Mini Mac installed.  Sweeeet!  I fired it up to check out my e-mail and told her to ‘do one’The room service was pretty funky.  It was a fully functioning kitchen, but I don’t know what kind of maniac cooks food when they’re on their hols? Anyway, the room service came and instead of just leaving a tray with a what looks like a hub cap from a volkswagen beetle over the plate and then standing around waiting for a tip, he set up the dining table, placed the cutlery and condiments… proper service.  I was impressed.  The gf signed some electronic tablet and he refused a tip and fucked off in his golf buggy.   She stuffed her face while I had a rest.

The evening came around and I wanted some action.  We jumped on the 300bht per day Yamaha R1 (Honda Airblade) and headed to Patong Beach.   And I am glad I did.  Only so that I can now add it to a long list of places to avoid.  What a shit hole.  Bangla road is worse than Pattaya.   I had arranged to meet up with some pals of mine. Heavy hitters.  Ex-Forces.  They’re covered in tatts and don’t look like they can’t fight.   I met them at the Kangaroo bar as it’s a favorite of theirs and they know the gaffer.  While at the bar, one of the chaps.. lets call him ‘EF1’ tells us he’s heading back to his hotel, just around the corner to throw on some Brut 33 and head back out.   EF2, my bird and me sat at the bar and got drinking.  The bar was packed as usual, the staff pretty good.  Not quite Bangkok standard, but hey… I was on holiday.   EF2 gets a call… his face dropped and said.. ‘I’ll be there in 2 minutes’.  And with that, he said not to go anywhere and he’ll be back in a Terminator style voice.  What was going on?    More drinks me finks.

The only thing that resembled a Kangaroo was the staff.

With our drinking pals gone.. not much happening in the street and not wanting to talk to each other, our attention turned to the TV screens.  In fact, most people in the bar were glued to the TV’s.   The bar was showing one of the Jack Ass DVD’s.  Everyone was watching.. laughing, cringing and gasping.   Ah… me thinks…  not a bad idea that!!  I’ll pick some of those DVD’s up for the Mango!

Ten mins later EF1 & 2 arrive back.  They looked like they’d been working out.  I asked them what went on.   Turns out, when EF1 went back for his Brut, he found a member of staff in his safe!  (not actually in it, like some sick midget porn).   He called up EF2 to come back and check the contents of all his crap to make sure nothing was gone.   I can’t remember what excuse the worker gave for trawling through their shit, but I can say is this… he won’t ever be doing that again 😉

A few more drinks flowed…. cola for me as I was on the bike.    We said our goodbyes and off we set into the night – and back to the James Bond pad. A little naked swimming and some room service ended the night.

Bored with Bangla road.. and not wanting to ride everywhere, the next day we decided to hit the local bars.  There is a strip of  bars on a nearby road.  the plan was to do them all.  Only about 8.  The 1st bar we went to, we rang the bell and bought the half dozen trogs a tequila.  They were not too friendly and didn’t say more than 2 words to us.  Next bar.  We went in, they all went outside and stuffed their faces!   Next bar.  We went in and bought a drink.  The girl behind the bar asked us what music we liked and changed it to a bit of Snoop – instead of the Thai screaming that was assaulting my eardrums.   We bought her a drink and had a game of pool.  I’d have thought that the other girls would have come inside and tried to be friendly.  Yes, I was with a girl, but she was the one talking to the other girls and trying to buy them drinks.  Odd.   As we were the only customers on the strip, I thought they’d be more attentive.  With us not slowing down to talk with the others or play pool with them, we soon got drunk on our own and skipped merrily back to the pad for naked swimming and room service!

The next few days were just spent lounging around… bit of beach walking and stuffing our faces.  It’s odd how waking up in the morning makes you really tired at night time.  I didn’t much care for that.

After 5 days or so.. I was burned to a crisp.  I had red arms where I had been riding the scooter with a t-shirt on.  I looked like a typical tourist. giving my gf ‘power of attorney’ with the room service is retrospect was probably not a good idea. The food there is expensive. Even if it is pretty damn good, my tgf would have been happy with sticky rice and some horrid smelly fish.

Time to head home.   The only reason I like Phuket is not because of Phuket itself, but because of the Melisa Suites.  I like the privacy, the cleanliness, the little pool, the service… all in all.. it’s great.  It’s somewhere I can just sit back and relax and the only noise I can hear in the little water feature they have by the pool – a little waterfall type thing.  Great.

Now if they had that in soi 4……


20 thoughts on “A few days relaxing in Phuket – by Daywalker

  1. DW,your right about the place being a shit hole,the best thing about it is the plane outta there heading back to BKK…..

  2. DW, 8-9k a night fark man, it want to be pretty special, I’m surprise they didn’t give you a private masseuse. Well at lease you got out of Soi 4. LoL

  3. Yep, Patong is definitely the armpit of Phuket. I avoid it like an STD whenever possible. Next time you are down here, check out Nai Harn/ Rawai area where I live. There is a great quiet beach, some decent bars, even two after-hours clubs your gf would like, (Icon & Laguna) or if u come without the TGF, there are plenty to be purchased for a small price, as its full of FL. Next time you are down south DW, send me an email.
    Thanks for the write up. I enjoyed it 🙂

  4. a few years ago i was in patong with some girls from some bar. They took me to some outside afterhours bar thing. Cant remember too much about it. I was pretty good. They had lady-boys in a dunktank. Where the fuck it was I dont know. Full of pussy

  5. @JA As anywhere else in LOS, pussy is all over Phuket. In Karon, if you go back from the beach at the roundabout, about one block, in the soi on the left is a row of massage parlors and across from them, bar beers. If you continue a bit and go right, there is a dead-end soi with bigger bars and possibly shows. I didn’t get past the bar on the corner, and watched lots of ladies going into the soi.

    I hung with a young lady from the bar on the corner. Absolutely the best naked body I ever saw walking from the shower to my bed, ever. You’ve stirred a very pleasant memory. Cheers!!

    Go find them, they are all over LOS.

  6. I haven’t been to Phuket in about 10 years. I do hear it’s the most expensive place in Thailand. I don’t remember that being the case back then? Personally I know spending that kind of money on a resort is much cheaper than hanging around Nana.

    When ever I met any girls in Bkk or Pattaya from Phuket. They seemed to speak really good english? is that something more prevalent there, or is that just coincidence?

    • I was rather disappointed. When I see a place like this I get temped to up-sticks and move over there. But then I wonder what I’d do after a few hours.

      I need to check out the party scene more. Is there one?

  7. @DW; hmmmm, “party scene” what does that mean? lol! depends on who your asking. Just like girls, all shapes, sizes and flavors! 😉

    Admittedly I’m a bit of rut hound. I’ve yet to make the trip south since hearing all the negatives and never getting bored with the flavor of fun I could always find up in BKK or Patts. But it does seem kinda silly to endure a 17 hour plane ride for the sake of “travel” just to go back to the same 10 X 10Km spot for a month 2 to 4 times each year?

  8. Phuket is exactly what you want it to be, when u want it to be. After 7 years here without hardly moving my ass, i can attest. (Maybe i should get off my ass and write about it a bit more)
    In Patong there are at least a half a dozen after hour clubs (Tiger, Hollywood, Famous (or whatever it is named now in Juncylon), & Seduction) Of those Tiger and Hollywood are always packed with ‘local moonlighters’ and are on the Bangla.
    Of course there is an ever-growing list of bar.
    But, DONT come to Phuket for the gogo’s, and compared to Pattaya and BKK, there is no contest. If i want to see lifeless bikin-clad zombies, i can venture off a few hundred meters to the beach. Utter waste of time. (If someone knows of a place where this isn’t the truth, please do tell)
    If you are looking for more of the quiet, relaxing beach stay, get out of patong and head South (to Nai Harn or Karon) or North to Surin Beach, both offer much cleaner beach water, and less idiot tourists. If you have a full day, take a 30 min boat ride out of Chalong and head to Koh Ratacha (aka Raya) for about 1200 baht, its a full day on a beautiful beach with a good lunch, snorkeling, and extremely clear water. Here is a pic from my last trip; http://bit.ly/SSY5ca
    If massage is your thing, special or boring regular, you can’t sneeze without getting some snot on a massage shop window. Regardless of where you are in Phuket, the sound of “Masaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage” will be ringing through your head.
    If Thai food is your thing, and you know the difference between great Thai food and good Thai food you will be disappointed unless you know the exact places to go. Understandable, most of the Thai restaurants here have been cooking their farang version of Thai food so long, it’s hardly authentic. If you are a newbie, it will all taste good.
    Shopping is expensive, and usually a waste of time. I save up for my trips to BKK and Pattaya to load up on the needed supplies. If you are looking for a bargain, stay out of Juncylon. (thats the big mall here)
    Thats just a quick summary of my take on Phuket. For me i like the slow-down life, beach swimming, gym and healthy lifestyle, and of course plenty of poon, so it works for me here.

  9. @ I Phukit, agree, have a friend living in Rawai/Nai Harn and hes’ a surf and fitness junkie, fits his lifestyle, stayed there for a while and enjoyed the kick back and beaches, never been back to Phuket/Bangla rd, way too expensive, one bar/gg wanted 200bht for beers, enjoy BKK or Patty more for the benders.

  10. @ROLLIN, no coincidence, big money english speaking tourists in Phuket, (and of course the loosers) the old saying ‘follow the money’ seems true.

  11. Pkuket – can be a dangerous place for falang to be haha. Plenty of places there I can’t show my face, that’s for sure. Someone would make a phone call and summon the reaper.

    Agree that the Nai Harn / Rawai area is better for just chillin .. had some good times there

  12. Well I spent some time there me self one time never more bored in my life but for 8 or 9K a night ah well its a steal compared to Soi 4. Midgets and all that BS. 90Ib girlfriends stuffing there faces and shit. Shirtless on bikes humping in the pool with Ausssies blokes and some midgets and shit. Woooopp Fuckme

  13. I wish I had the time and go to Thailand. Your experience there is simply marvellous and I cannot wait to experience it for my own.

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