A few funnies sent in by readers.
Man got busted for having one off the wrist on the BTS over a woman. In one report I read, the guy said she was so nice that he couldn’t contain himself.
– But get this, if found guilty when he’s up in Court – he can get upto 1000bht fine and 1 month in prison!
The simple realities of living
SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you’re screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2`
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, “Congrats”.
But, none of them touch the man’s penis and say, “Good job”.
Moral of the story:
Hard work is never appreciated.
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole’s name.
3. If you help someone when they’re in trouble, they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.
Bonus:
Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex.
A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
And finally, if you need an excuse to look at some boobies…. Here is a story about nicknames for airbags.
And ‘finally’- finally (as this is close to my heart)
Subject: : Yorkshire farmer
Subject: Yorkshire farmer
A farmer in Yorkshire sees a man drinking from his stream, so he shouts ,
“Ey up cocker, tha dunt wanna be drinkin watta frum theer, its full o hoss
piss an cow shite an it could kill thee”
The man says: “Excuse me Sir, I am a Muslim from Pakistan,
could you please be speaking much clearer and slower?”
The farmer replies:
” If….You…. Use…. Two ….Hands……. You….Won’t…. Spill …..Any”