(With much success of the ‘you know when you’ve been in Thailand too long when’….. here is another which is the same same but different.)
You know you’ve not been in Thailand long enough when….
You use tuk-tuks
You don’t ask the taxi’s to turn the meter on
You wai bar girls
You think Ladyboys are fascinating
You think Thai people are really friendly
You think dancing on the stage infront of your mates makes you look cool
You think you are a good pool player
You don’t know when the regular buffets are on offer
You don’t know what or where lolitas is
You think Pattaya is a nice place
You give money to the beggars
You believe the bargirls actually think you ARE handsome
When you believe the sizes on clothes labels in shops
You think owning a giant zippo lighter would be cool.
You think the street seller in the Newcastle United shirt actually knows where Newcastle is.
You think the Police will help you
You don’t eat street food
You’d not get on the back of a motorcy taxi for love nor money
When you don’t receive a cold towel with your beer when you arrive at a bar
You don’t know what the term Farang means
You expect a taxi driver will take you where you want to go
You believe your girl has only been in the job a few weeks and doesn’t like it
You don’t understand why there are so many farms up north yet not many steak restaurants?
You think your Thai girl believes what you tell her
You believe what your Thai girl tells you
You think Spicy is cool place to hang out
You like the French
You believe you have met and spoken to many, many ex-SAS servicemen
You think buying a watch in Patpong will fool your friends back home… or that it’ll still work in 2 weeks
You like the AW shows
You think the girls look better out of their clothes than in them.
You turn up on time
You expect people to turn up on time
You don’t wait for the lights before crossing the road at the top of soi 4
You think the all you can eat buffets are made from good quality food
You think it’s cool not to wear a crash helmet
You are glad you brought your girlfriend with you
You giggle and laugh when a ladyboy talks to you
You’ve not copped a feel of lb boobies
You get up in the morning before the shops are open. i.e 10am
You want to see the floating market
You want to visit a temple
You want a big bike
You think you can tell a little guy handing out flyers in Patpong to fook off.
You think you can win a fight with a little guy handing out flyers in Patpong
You think it’ll be a fair one-one-one fight with little guy at Patpong
You are shocked by the sight of a rat/roach