You’ve not been in Thailand long enough when…..

(With much success of the ‘you know when you’ve been in Thailand too long when’….. here is another which is the same same but different.)

You know you’ve not been in Thailand long enough when….

You use tuk-tuks

You don’t ask the taxi’s to turn the meter on

You wai bar girls

You think Ladyboys are fascinating

You think Thai people are really friendly

You think dancing on the stage infront of your mates makes you look cool

You think you are a good pool player

You don’t know when the regular buffets are on offer

You don’t know what or where lolitas is

You think Pattaya is a nice place

You give money to the beggars

You believe the bargirls actually think you ARE handsome

When you believe the sizes on clothes labels in shops

You think owning a giant zippo lighter would be cool.

You think the street seller in the Newcastle United shirt actually knows where Newcastle is.

You think the Police will help you

You don’t eat street food

You’d not get on the back of a motorcy taxi for love nor money

When you don’t receive a cold towel with your beer when you arrive at a bar

You don’t know what the term Farang means

You expect a taxi driver will take you where you want to go

You believe your girl has only been in the job a few weeks and doesn’t like it

You don’t understand why there are so many farms up north yet not many steak restaurants?

You think your Thai girl believes what you tell her

You believe what your Thai girl tells you

You think Spicy is cool place to hang out

You like the French

You believe you have met and spoken to many, many ex-SAS servicemen

You think buying a watch in Patpong will fool your friends back home… or that it’ll still work in 2 weeks

You like the AW shows

You think the girls look better out of their clothes than in them.

You turn up on time

You expect people to turn up on time

You don’t wait for the lights before crossing the road at the top of soi 4

You think the all you can eat buffets are made from good quality food

You think it’s cool not to wear a crash helmet

You are glad you brought your girlfriend with you

You giggle and laugh when a ladyboy talks to you

You’ve not copped a feel of lb boobies

You get up in the morning before the shops are open. i.e 10am

You want to see the floating market

You want to visit a temple

You want a big bike

You think you can tell a little guy handing out flyers in Patpong to fook off.

You think you can win a fight with a little guy handing out flyers in Patpong

You think it’ll be a fair one-one-one fight with little guy at Patpong

You are shocked by the sight of a rat/roach

8 thoughts on “You’ve not been in Thailand long enough when…..”

  1. You’ve just bar fined a180 cm issan goddess ,with huge tits,slim hips,who has promised you that she will let you play the back 9.

    You think pattaya is fun

    You can’t believe the amount of sick buffalo Thailand has.

    You are willing to pay double the going rate for a threesome because they have told you they are sisters.

    You think it’s cool to sit in bars nibbling on insects.

    You think stickman is the Thailand Internet bible.

    You can’t wait to retire,so you can spend all your time sitting at the coconut bar in Pattaya.

    Connect 4 is fun.

    You shake hands with the Indian tailor touts in Pattaya.

    You and your new Bargirl/friend have both been to temple and now have matching white string bracelets, that must mean something,right!

    You think a red shirt, is a red shirt.

    You think Thais smile all the time because they are happy.

    You go to her home in issan and are horrified to see the shithole she and her family live in.

    You think it’s good your new girlfriend and her brother are so close.

  2. I’m a simple being .. I tend to just look at the stamp in my passport to work out if I’ve been here too long.

  3. Might have to ask for a DNA check on my wife and her brother if they really are sister and brother, cause he is living with us..should I be worried!!???

  4. If she sleeps in his room at night so her snoring does not disturb you, I’d probably take a few tests if I were you

  5. You know you’ve not been in Thailand long enough….

    If you are still worried about dying.

    If you think ringing the bell or buying a lady drink makes you Jai Dee for ever. (the next day you are back to square one and have to do it all again).

    If you’re friends and family don’t suspect you of being a sexual deviant.

    If you think you got a good deal when you bartered the shop/hotel/stall holder down on their price.

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