I’ve always maintained that relationships require a bit of fun and excitement. I don’t mean dressing up in your spidey outfit and leaping from the wardrobe, which is fine, but I refer to activities that you can do which make your heart pump and get the old adrenaline pumping. For Miss Tim, this is quite simple. Show her a shoe shop and the heart rate goes up a few notches. Add in a buffet in walking distance of the shoe shop and you will see her behave like she’s just eaten a biscuit made of cocaine. A cookaine if you like.
But as our house already holds enough footware to shoe a family of centipedes, we have to fill our days with other things
One day each week we go go-karting or ATV’ing. Some times, both in the same day.
Being somewhat of a petrol head, I do like to have a blast around a gokart track. There was a time I’d do it on the public roads in my 911 Turbo, but those days are gone. I am too old at 38.
The local gokart track is pretty basic, (I’ve written about it before briefly) but it’s good enough for our needs. Normally there is just Miss Tim and I, but when there is a group of you, naturally its more fun.
All the karts are pretty much the same. The one or two mile an hour difference isn’t going to be noticed by joe public – so don’t worry about getting the ‘fast’ kart.
For 980 baht you get 2 x 13 minute sessions. Thirteen minutes doesn’t sound like long, but when racing around trying to get the most out of the machine, sliding it around bends, leaning left and right…etc.. it’s pretty tough going.
After signing the form to say that if you die, you’ll not sue them, you are shown the way to the crash helmets. Personally I prefer to use my own.
Apparently the timing mechanism is not working at the moment due to the rain. But then, I’ve been told my tv doesn’t work due to the rain. Neither does my internet. Or my cat.
A lap (giving it some) takes around 40 seconds. Go there with a pal and your girls, there is always someone for you to play with on the track. Every now and then one of the staff will come on the track to show off. If they can.
One of the good things about this place is the two-seater karts. One set of pedals, but two steering columns. Naturally they are slower, but if you’re a good driver and the rest are a bunch poofs, then you can keep up. The extra weight gives you better traction which helps when everyone is trying to go sideways.
I took Miss Tim out in the two seater to demonstrate ‘over-steer’ Great fun. After a few laps of (showing off) showing her the ‘lines’ to take I took my hands off the wheel and let her loose.
The woman has all the fear of a toddler. Everytime we approached a bend or corner Miss Tim would wrench the steering wheel in a way that would see the kart slide around.
Each time I looked at her to say ‘what the fook are you doing’ I was greeted by a big smiling face. She liked it.
After 13 minutes of that, I was bruised and battered by Miss Tim thinking she was Fast n Furious and wanted to Drift everywhere. I created a monster.
About a 15 minute break is given. If there is another group there, they’ll then get their turn whilst you sit it out. Fifteen minutes later you’ll be back on the track for your second 13 minute session. Having now got to know the track, you will be a bit more fast and furious.
Towards the end of the session you’ll be glad when they call you into the pits.
After a few stretches and back-slapping you realise that since you’ve been there under an hour. What to do next? Well, whilst the blood is pumping – head to the ATV park in Cha-am!
It’s about a 15/20 minute ride – taking it easy. Cha-am ATV Park had Archery, Paintball and of course, the ATV’s.
There are 3 separate courses to go on. Girly, Gay and Manly. Or something like that. We go for the 1 hour tour at 1800bht each.
For this, you have to go around a couple of the courses just to show you’re not a complete numpty before you set off out of the park.
All around Cha-am there are fields, tracks, ditches and so on. Great for an ATV. Even better if it’s been raining.
After signing a form to say you’ll not sue them if you die, you are shown to the helmets and gloves. Again, I use my own helmet but take their gloves.
It’s wise to not wear your best clothes as you are guaranteed to get covered in mud, water and what tasted like cow shit. Apparently.
As I said, I am a bit of a petrol head so take every opportunity to wheelie it, slide it, jump it, thrash it. Basically, drive it like I stole it. Upon spying some mud/water I’d put all my weight at the front of the ATV, turn the bars and accelerate like mad and throw a load of crap up at the person behind me. Miss Tim that is.
Seeing this, Miss Tim having no fear, attempts to do it. By just shaking her arse around. Not quite the same, but fun to watch.
Continuing with the theme of ‘no fear’, she heads for puddles, rocks, ditches, ruts, trenches, bushes, wild dogs, abandoned sheds, hikers, etc. All the time with a smile on her face.
I honestly believe if you have the most miserable of girls who doesn’t want to do anything apart from playing with her phone – I am sure this is the place for you. It’s difficult not to have fun.
Stopping after 30 mins, they give you a bottle of cold(ish) water. The 6bht water is included in the price.
Time to wipe off all the mud from your face and check out all the wounds (Rambo scars) you’ve picked up on your arms from all the plantation you’ve driven through.
Jump back on the ATV for the ride back. If we went back the same way we came, I have no idea. It all looked different. Many different paths. Lots of routes.
The hour sort of passes quick. But you feel like you’ve spent longer on there. You certainly don’t feel hard done by when you return.
It’s the luck of the drawer what kind of tour guide you get. We’ve had a slow rider that wasn’t much fun and we’ve also had a guy that seemed to be in a bit of a rush. The faster the better. It’s also worth noting that it’s more fun if you keep changing riding formation so that you get to see each other riding. Staying in a line is boring.
Having said that, each time Miss Tim tried to spin her wheels and kick dust all over me she’d then look back and laugh.
Thing is, when she’d look back at me, she was not steering straight, so when she turned back around, she found she was heading for a bush or was in a bush. Or a tree. Or a cow.
She’d then turn round to see if I had just seen that – and then repeat the whole ordeal over again.
Once you return, there is an area to clean yourself up and a large restaurant area. After you’ve cleaned up, they give you a soft drink – which is welcomed by then.
The food is your standard Thai stuff – with French Fries. But to be honest, you’re so pumped up that you don’t fancy the food.
Next up we’ll have a go at the Archery, but to be honest, I am not sure I want Miss Tim experienced in shooting arrows with great precision at a bullseye which is a similar size to my groin area.
A good day out. It’s not cheap. To do both, you’re going to spend 3,000 each.
– But it’s worth it.