Buriram Experience – By Frank

The Parent Meeting

We had planned to leave BKK at 8 in the morning but got on the piss and decided to leave earlier. So got the driver out of bed at 1 in the morning and off we went. A couple more Vodkas in the car and I ended up snoring my ass off in RC’s lap. Ended up waking up about 30 min away from our hotel.

It is 8 in the morning and she wants to go straight to go and see her parents. This is another 40 min away from where we were staying and I feel a bit on the rough side. Never mind, as they say, freshen up and on the road again.

Hit the village and everything went in kind of slow motion mode….

Her parents were nice enough but obviously the language barrier was preventing me to talk about building foundations design…so what do you do?? You decide to use the universal language of getting rat arsed together and since I had a new bottle of Vodka in my survival pack, long story short, her dad ended up falling off the chair, asleep under the table. I was eyeing off the hammock and decided, I’d have a short kip in there.

Of course the fucking thing did a 180 degree swivel and I landed ass up in the bushes much to the amusement to everyone around. I like to make a good impression on the first day 🙂

I also found out that RC has a bike there…sweet. Now, I’ve been riding bikes since I turned 16 here in OZ. This one hadn’t been ridden for ages….battery stuffed, no oil, seat half ripped up by all the kids, back wheel stuffed with half the spokes loose as and much more. I thought, let’s get the bastard fixed and we don’t have to worry about drivers while we here. The guy fixing/servicing it spent over half a day on it and I thought ‘shit, this is going to hurt in the back pocket’…RC comes out and says ‘800 Bath” I go ‘U shitting me, right?’ Nope….

The Hotel

The first one started to piss me off after the first day…RC more so as apparently she overheard the staff talking about her, pissed me off more when the aircon didn’t work, the TV only had one channel and more importantly, nobody wanted to help us to get some food….Ok out of there next day, 2 secs down the road and we’re good….everything works and they had a restaurant right next to the hotel you could get a feed to your room.
But, and there is always a but, the place had about 200 (no shit) chickens running around outside of our bungalow…so you know what I mean.

The chickens that don't shit.
The chickens that don’t shit.

Also it had a swimming pool and doing the traditional Oz thing, I couldn’t resist jumping in fully clothed….

Prakhon Chai

Nice town, everywhere we ate was good. As our hotel was about 100 m down from a cop shop, there was a police check point every day/night and believe me, they pulled plenty of people over. Now, RC does not have any current/valid paper to ride a bike, so we had to do the ‘going through parking lots and backstreet shit’ but we never had any trouble.

In town, RC decides she wants to colour her hair black much to my bemusement ‘you’re Thai, your hair is black last time I checked’.

Off to the salon…fortunately the boyfriend of the chick owning the place is an Aussie, so while she gets her hair done we smash a few beers. RC’s hair at the end is ‘double black’….ok, matches my clothes.

The Temple

Now, this is the big one with about 10,000 stairs to get to the top and they are not built to Australian Standards. When we went, the gods thought ‘haha here he comes’ so they turned the temperature up a notch to about 50 degrees.

I survived and actually enjoyed the experience.

Frank finally found a vacant toilet
Frank finally found a vacant toilet

On the way back, the old call of nature kicked in in a number 2 kind of way. way. There were enough amenities round but I’m not much of a fan of the squat thing, especially when you’re wearing jeans and boots.

Back Home

We stayed at a nice place near the airport for the last two days. Coming back to Oz sucked a bit, especially when I got back to Perth and it was absolutely pissing down, but ‘never mind, right?’


Enjoyed this trip immensely. RC is ok as I saw her interact with her family in her own environment out of the Bar scene…good girl, bad girl? Don’t know. I got what I came here for and no, Graham, no marriage looming.

Maybe, if she’s still around when I come back I will see her again….or maybe not…

@Lomeo, it was good to meet you. Say hi to Juliet and see you next time around.

All you guys, live long and prosper…..


Now that the Curfew has been lifted to 1am* – that gives us a little more time to play.

I am still thinking of getting a hotel close-by the action – or stay in a bar until 4?!

What are we thinking then chaps?

Who’s in?

Lomeo (& Juliet?)
Miss Tim (but can ditch her with the offering of purchasing more shoes)

*There was an announcement on the TV last night. All channels were interrupted for 5 mins and a load of writing in Thai and some dude read it out. It had an official stamp and everything! 1am

Here we go again……

Blimey, as if there isn’t enough problems in Thailand….

I am not interested in the Politics. It seems a bit like football supporting to me. Wearing the wrong shirt can land you in trouble it seems.

Anyway, let them get on with it. I want to hear about what there is to do – instead of the usual Nana, Cowboy and Patpong run? Got to stock up before 10pm I guess?










From Lomeo this morning….

Red Dawn .. helicopters everywhere and acrid smoke fills the sky as the sound of gunfire is all that can be heard.

Not quite, but the reality of what it’s like to be here now are setting in today. I typically ignore most of those travel warnings, but I urge you to rethink your travel plans if you are reading this and planning on coming over to Thailand in the next few weeks, here’s why:

* Curfew from 10 PM until 5.00 AM. 7-11s are now 5-10s. Curfew means you are expected to be at home or in your hotel during these hours.

* Bars are closed at night at 9PM, some beforehand. Remember this is not confined to BKK, same same in Phuket and Pattaya.

* Shopping centers closed at 8PM (remember many have restaurants inside.)

* TV stations are off the air as is local radio.

* Airports open but if your flight arrives after curfew expect few taxis and don’t expect they will use the meter.

You absolutely need to carry your passport with you if you venture outside, expect that it may be asked for and checked.

Holidays are supposed to be fun, and I just can’t see how you’ll have a lot of it, especially at night, under the current conditions.

How long will it last? Anyone’s guess. Internet still working thankfully, that was just a little scaremongering by the look of it.


For me, this is all getting tedious and inconvenient.   It’s got me thinking… maybe it’s about time we buggered off to somewhere else?

I’ll have to check out the list of Countries Miss Tim is allowed without a visa, has good shopping malls, bars, restaurants and of course… good weather.

Anyone know any Vietnam real estate websites?






Chiang Mai Diaries Day 4-5 with GamblinMan

Day 4

No nasty wake up call today, nice gentle drift into consciousness and realisation that it is my last night in CM. I am flying out the next evening.

Another lunch in Aroon Rai was as good as it has been since 1957. CM is worth visiting just for the chicken curry with potato there. More shopping and nearly melting in the sun. My sister loves buying shoes and bags. I remember the first time she went shopping in Macau and came home with 3 handbags. Completely ruined my wife, her comment was, “you can have more than one handbag?” A revelation for her, expensive for me.

The day passed and again I required an after dinner stroll. I had searched gogos in CM and had found that the 2 that I knew of did not even get a mention. There was one other named Foxy Lady. I thought I would drop in for a quick one before meeting CMG but having seen the other gogos, I had no expectations. Took time to get through the door, there is a red curtain inside that doesn’t separate in the middle ala Nana style. You have to go around the left side. Must have looked hilarious from inside the bar, me fighting with the curtain.

I was immediately impressed. It is a small bar but there were about 4 girls on stage at around 9pm. Looked ok and then they changed over and the better ones got up. Very nice. There were also more girls arriving for work, clearly 9ish is the start time for many. Getting eyed up by several that I would not hesitate to make my new GF in BKK. There was even a customer that was eyeing me up. Luckily for me, it was a girl. Now I know what you are thinking at this point but I have a little experience in picking the difference and have never had one of those embarrassing moments…..yet. This girl was cute and was also clearly a customer as she had a bill on the bar and was dressed. A lot of the girls knew her so either she is regular customer or a worker on a night off.

Once again I am thinking I should have not taken CMG for my time there. I do prefer to stay with one girl rather than spread myself around (now now G) so I finished my drink and left. I would recommend the bar from what I saw during my one drink there.

May was a bit of a dragon
May was a bit of a dragon

Thought I would go to May’s bar for one on the way and there she was, May. Not May, May had made a call and May2 turned up. May, knowing my preferences, had found a girl for me. Nice but I am moving from preferring youth to experience and May was much more to my taste than May2. Great service, should have just taken both of them but the best girl in the bar is May’s younger sister. Waiting for the opportunity to go back there.

Off now to Spotlight and meet CMG. Spent the night there drinking and then did the usual and went back to the hotel. CMG wearing me out, no earthquakes tonight.

Day 5

I hate it when you realise your holiday is almost over. That thought hit me immediately on waking up. It has been good to catch up with my sister and brother-in-law as well as renewing old acquaintances and making new ones. Pack my stuff and put in my sisters room as I have a late flight tonight.

Went to the Anantara for lunch, previously it was the Chedi hotel. It is a lovely place, on the river and the hotel surrounds and includes the former British Consul’s residence, a lovely old colonial building. It has been done very well and it is greaty to sit under the trees, eating lunch and watching the river move past.

Brit Consul building

More wandering around the shops looking at handbags and shoes. It was incredibly hot plus the nights of alcohol frenzy are having an effect. We went to a lovely cafe called Raming Teahouse on Tha Phae Rd for a cooling smoothie. Lovely place, another old colonial era building.

Dinner at the River Market Restaurant again, it was so good we had to go back. Cocktails after at the Anantara and then its off to the airport for me.

I have fallen for Chiang Mai and am a big advocate for it at the moment. I haven’t lived there so that is another matter, I am sure there will be others more expert than me that will have an opinion. I have quite a few friends that live up that way, in Chiang Mai, Phayao and Uttaradit. They are very happy up there but I also see them when they get down to Bangkok, they go crazy. I think I could live in Chiang Mai but not at the moment. Nana calls.

Chiang Mai Diaries Day 1-3 with GamblinMan

(Thanks GM for a submission of what ‘normal’ people do outside of BKK. This would actually give ROLLN a heart attack.)

Days 1 and 2

First of all, I have only been to CM twice, this being my second trip. It is purely my observations and experiences there, I am in no way an expert on the city.

My sister and her husband were over here for a holiday, going to Vientiane, Chiang Mai, Bangkok and KL. I liked Chiang Mai when I went up there last year so I decided to catch up with them up there. It was an interesting time and I thought a post was in order. I hope it helps anyone thinking of going up there in the near term.

I flew out of Don Mueang with Air Asia, there are so many airlines flying to CM (Thai, Air Asia, Nok Air, Bangkok Airways, Thai Lion to name a few) that it is easy to find the one that suits you. Taxis very well organised at the airport, 120 baht to anywhere in town. We were staying at the Chiang Mai Plaza, it is an older hotel with good facilities that is being let run down. All our reservation requests were ignored and the rooms by the pool we asked for were still having the carpet changed. Same excuse they used last time. Nice but this is the last time I will stay there.

Picking your hotel in CM is easy, get one close to the night market and Loi Kroh Rd (bar street). Transport is not difficult but walking distance is better.

First night I didn’t do much, I was still a little hungover from the previous night at Hillary 2 with Lomeo. I blame Lomeo, not Jonas this time. My date with the cute 36 year old had gone downhill fast so after Hillary 2 I headed out to see Coyote Girl for a nightcap, but I digress.

Next day dawned hot and humid. Being in holiday mode, shorts were called for. We headed out for a curry, according to the sign it is the best curry in CM and you can only get it there, nowhere else. Basically it is a mussaman chicken curry with potatoes. I have to admit it is the best I have had, place called Aroon Rai on Kotchasan Road. It also happens to be about 10 metres from the gogo (Spotlight) that I frequented on my first trip there. I had every intention of renewing the acquaintance that evening. We spent the day wandering around the shops and cafes etc (me) looking for a suitable gift for Coyote Girl and counting down the clock ’til bar time.

Having a pre dinner drink, a lovely Sav Blanc from Tasmania, in my sisters room on 10th floor of the hotel when the earth moves. We are all hanging onto the furniture and I am trying to decide if I can make it to the swimming pool below if I jump. My sister and hubby grab their passports as soon as it finishes and we are out of there. I didn’t worry about my passport but I did finish my wine.

If anyone has ever been on the 10th floor of an old hotel in Thailand during an earthquake, they will confirm my feelings. Total fear. Doesn’t take long to realise there is absolutely nothing you can do and go with the flow, or shake. We evacuated but only one other customer did and the staff not worried at all. It was a 6.3 magnitude earthquake, centred around Chiang Rai.

Went for dinner in a local institution, The Dukes, or in one of them anyway. Apparently they were investigating an outlet in Bangkok a while ago but nothing came of it. Food was quite reasonable. I was so full that I had to walk it off, that was my excuse for not going back to the hotel with the family anyway.

It was late enough to go to a gogo so I headed along Loi Kroh Rd and around the corner to Spotlight. Walked in and there were about 5 girls on stage. Quite a big stage but I don’t know how it was taking the weight. Same as the last time I was there. At that time I only saw 2 girls under 50kg, this time there were more girls but none very petite. I had hoped to catch up with CM girl but she was ignoring my messages so I assumed she wasn’t available. As I walked in and stepped to the bar, there was a scream. CMG was there and working, she looked as good as before and hadn’t been eating too many hamburgers.

We didn’t bother with more drinks/bars, we went straight back to the hotel. We tried to keep the noise down so my sister in the adjoining room would not twig to my assignation. She only did ST which I am happy with so she went home richer and I went to sleep with not a care in the world.

Day 3

My cares returned at 8am when the aftershock hit.

Only about 4.5 or something on the rictus scale but it was enough to rock the hotel and wake me up. I followed the example set by the hotel staff and went back to sleep. Woke up around 10am and went to meet the family for another day of wandering and eating.

I do like CM from an expat point of view. It has lots of things to do for tourists, direct flights to lots of interesting places, good bars and restaurants. In my opinion it is the most Farang friendly of Thai cities outside Bkk. The islands, Pattaya and Hua Hin are good but they aren’t cities.

Came back to my room and thought I would watch some tv, I had two channels in English so that made choosing easy. Looked for the tv remote to turn it on and couldn’t find it anywhere. My next thought was that I could have not been so unlucky as to have another bar girl steal the tv remote from my room. Yes, another. I have witnesses to the return of the first one so it is a true story. Luckily, after a more thorough search I found it down between the beside table and the bed.

Dinner was had that night in a lovely place on the river, River Market Restaurant. It is the last place on the right as you go down to the river on Loi Kroh Rd. Very nice food, great service attitude and atmosphere to die for.

River @ Anantara

Again, I ate too much and a walk was called for. Straight up LK Rd. and got to the area of bars with the Muay Thai ring at the end. Not sure of the name but it is easy to find and lots of fun. Had time so I thought a look and a beer were in order before heading to Spotlight again. There are about 40 bars here arranged down either side, going down to a larger area with the ring. Walked down the middle, looking for a bar with reasonable girls and not too busy. Saw one that fitted, went in, sat down and there was May.

May used to work at Hollywood in Nana and later, outside of Playskool. She knows many “friends” of mine and thought I was still with Tattoo Girl. Small world. One drink and a promise to come back and I was off to Spotlight again.

CMG was waiting and we ordered a couple of drinks. There is an old oriental guy who has been there every time I have gone in, sitting at the same stage side seat and having a great time. Apparently he goes there every night. He smiles so much that his eyes are almost invisible because of laughter lines. He reminds me of a character from Tin Tin. I sit and watch the show from the back of the bar. Getting to know the mamasan now which means buying drinks. One customer is drinking red wine, the bar staff pour the remains of a Penfolds something into a glass, pull out a completely different wine from the ice and fill it up. The punter didn’t complain.

We decided to go to May’s bar and watch the Muay Thai and have a few there. Got there and atmosphere was not conducive to a good time. May and CMG giving and receiving daggers. CMG informs me that her flatmate has a bar in there and she wants to go and say hi. She comes back a bit later and wants to move there.

I was pleasantly surprised with her flatmate, lets call her CMG2. I was beginning to regret taking CMG again, she is good but variety is better. Stayed there for a few drinks and a hookah of some apple flavoured herbs. I don’t smoke and neither does CMG but that didn’t stop her. I was happy being entertained by the Muay Thai and CMG2’s tits, in no particular order.

Muay Thai most nights here is good entertainment, I imagine the guys (and girls) doing it don’t get paid much and they do it for real, you could feel the punches/kicks/elbows etc. After a fight, the combatants walk around asking for tips and they deserve whatever they get.

Back to the hotel and a damn good rogering for CMG.

Day 4…..

Bar Tale #2

So there’s this guy, fairly frequent customer of the Mango Bar…. get’s on well with one of the staff. Very well. He’s maybe 15+ years older than her – but they have a spark together. One thing leads to another and she’s no longer a staff member and has moved in with him. Good luck to her/him/them.

Roll on a few years… they’re still together and still going strong. He works a way a lot and she now has various business bought by him. Things are going well.

There we were one night in the Mango, ehen in he walks. A quick catch up followed and he mentioned he’d been up Country with the gf to a family wedding. She wanted to stay there with her family for a few days so he came back to Bangkok to catch up on some work.

Nothing wrong with that you say?

Thing is… this girl was ex-staff. Which means the current staff all know what the score is. It must have been all of 5 minutes before one of the staff told me that she saw (and spoke with) this guys girlfriend the previous night in Insomnia!!! She was with another guy. Young to boot.

What should I do? I regard this guy as a pal. But she is ex-staff. I have a loyalty to the staff, a loyalty to the customers as they met the girl in my bar – and a loyalty to my pal.

What do you do? Shoot the hostage?

Again, I couldn’t just sit back and let the guy get taken for a ride. I didn’t feel that I was close enough to him to start telling him his loved one is putting it about behind his back, so I told his best pal who I knew.

The reaction I got was a ‘Oh, not again’! He had suspected in the past.

As the saying goes… if there is a doubt… then there is no doubt.

This girl had money.. she had a business and a nice home. She was well taken care off. But, she was young. When you’re young, you want to hang out with other people that are young. You want to feel attracted to young people. Basically.. you want to be with them. And girls,… just wanna have fun!

They didn’t split. She talked her way out of it. For a few more years he ploughed money into the relationship and I kinda lost touch. I later found out that they did eventually split, but not a complete split. It was hard to let go. I believe he is still to this day giving her financial support.

So this girl has had many years of taking money from the guy. He was (as far as I know) faithful to her and loved her. She was mucking about behind his back.

The out come is.. she now no longer has to muck around behind his back. He on the other hand has had all his memories changed from happy memories – to an act. And it cost him.

Again.. he was told. He chose not to believe it. That’s what happened

Love is Blind – Bar Tale #1

  • Blaming bargirls. Taken from this weeks Stickman

I am a farang who has just been well and truly stung by a bargirl.  Isn’t it time to fight back?  How about this for an idea: Open up a website for stung farangs showing the photo, name and details of the lady in question in order to deter other farangs from being duped by the same lady.  What do you think?  <I think this is a ridiculous idea.  It would be defamatory and its creation would be a crime in Thailand.  It is about time people like you listened to those who have long warned of the dangers of such relationships.  For relationships to work respect is needed but in the case of many Thai prostitute / Western customer relationships, there is little respect on either side, and in its place is disdain – Stick>

– Good timing don’t you think?!

So this guy has been ‘stung’ – by a bar-girl?!!

I can understand the guy is bitter and upset. Of course he is. He’s had his world come crashing down on him no doubt. But I’d like to know more. Without knowing anymore thatn is written above.. I am going to guess the following is a factor..

  • There is a big age gap
  • There is a big weight gap
  • He doesn’t live in Thailand full time

Seriously, what does he expect?

This brings me to a story I have told before – but I’ll tell it again.    I’ll change the names to protect the guilty…

So there is this guy called Melvin.  Nice guy.  Aussie.  In his early 50’s I’d say and carrying more weight than he should.

He pops into the (old) Mango everytime he was in Bangkok.  He lives in Oz but comes to Thailand every 3 months or so on business.  He has a Thai girl friend who he is besotted with.

On one occasion, Jonas and I were drinking with him in the bar.   Melvin came in for an early drink to say goodbye as he was returning to Oz the next morning.  The plan was to have drink and then off for dinner with his girlfriend who was on her way to join him.  It was 7pm.

At 8pm Melvin gave her a call.  She was stuck in traffic.  It’s Bangkok, what can you do?

Come 9pm – he called her again.  ‘Traffic very big’.   Oh dear.  She was out with her ‘Brother’ you see, so at least she wasn’t upto no good.

He told us how his girlfriend was a ‘good girl’ and lived up country in a house he paid for when he is not there.  She only comes to Bangkok when he is in town.  They’d been together for a few years.  It was the real deal.  She was ‘different’.

She eventually arrived around 11pm.

Tight black dress, high heels, that horrible gold jewelery with various tattoos.  One being the Buddha tattoo thing across her shoulder.  You know the one.. pyramid shaped.

Melvin was drunk… Little Miss Black Dress was not showing much interest in him.  She was however, giving Jonas the eye.  Little bit of flirting and her rolling her eyes continued.   Normally Jonas would be all over her like a cheap suit – but Melvin was a nice guy.  The hapless bastard.

Anyway, he was due to leave early in the morning so they went to his hotel he was staying in so they could say their goodbyes before he flew back to Oz and she got the bus up country the next morning.  Ahhh… love love love.

The next evening…  Jonas and I were staggering down soi 4 and we saw Little Miss Black Dress coming out of a S.T hotel and getting on the back of a motorcy taxi.  What had she been upto?   That wasn’t the hotel they were staying in the night before?

But who are we to jump to conclusions?…..

Roll on 6 months.   Miss Tim and I are in Soi Cowboy – doing the rounds.  There we are in some bar (She-Wongs or something) and we notice a familiar face.   Yes,  Little Miss Black Dress has swapped her dress for little black g-string.   She didn’t recognize us.  It was her.  She had her back to us at 1st – which showed her tattoos.  After a while, she was given a drink by a customer sitting behind us and she went and sat beside him.  Brushing past us as she went.  It was her.  Tattoo’s and jewelery.  No mistaking her.

She must have split up with Melvin and had to seek work on a pole.  Sad.

Another few months pass… Melvin is back in the bar.     It was his last night and came to have a drink with us.  I didn’t want to ask about his private life.  As the ‘Bar man’ – you really should let the punter tell you what he wants, rather than pry.

A bit of small talk and he tells me he is just about to do a Land deal with the girlfriend.  He said ‘you remember he don’t you’?.   I did.

“Is she in Bangkok at the moment’? I asked.

– “No.. she hasn’t been back here since the last time I was here.  She doesn’t like Bangkok”

Hmmm…..  It was then I had a moral dilemma.  It’s none of my business.  Who the hell am I to throw a spanner in the works?

But then, what if 6 months down the line he throws himself out of a window as he finds he’s been taken for a mug?  I could have been the one to prevent that.

What if it were me?  How would I feel if my girl did a number on me and all my mates knew about it but never told me?  If it were me, I’d want to know.

So instead of hitting him with it, I asked for his advice.   I told him that I had a pal who was in a relationship and had invested a fair bit of money in property – all in her name.  The thing is, I happen to know she was fookin around when he was away.  What should I do?  If it were me, I’d want to know, but then I am not sure my ‘friend’ would appreciate the news.

He fired back that I should tell them.  And agreed that if he were in that position then he’d want to know.

I kinda just raised my eye-brows and waited for the penny to drop.

Eventually he got it.  He was shattered.  I explained where I had seen her, the tattoos she has on her body and the (rough) date I’d seen her.  This was all backed up by Miss Tim.

Melvin (eventually) thanked me – and told me he’d stop all the plans immediately so as not to lose anymore.

And off he went.. .into the night a broken man.   I don’t envy him the fight home to Oz in the early hours.

Roll on another 3-4 months.   Melvin walks into the bar.  Miss Tim asks how he is.  He was fine.  He was meeting his girl a little later.

Miss Tim had to ask…’you worked things out’?

Melvin replied that Miss Tim and I were mistaken.  We must have her mixed up with someone else.  She wouldn’t be in a gogo when he was away.

And that was it.  Either he knew, and excepted that it’s better to have a cheating girl than no girl at all.  Or he was blinded by love.

– I’ve done my bit.  I have no doubt his world will come crashing down again.  I’ve not seen him since and don’t suppose I ever will.

Every time I see an e-mail or posting like the one featured on Stickman – I wonder if it’s poor old Melvin?








































Love is blind…. and stupid.

Now that the bar life is behind me, I can share a few tales. Just a few snippets of what I could see as the gaffer and what the customer could see as the boyfriend (customer)

First of all, for all those guys that think they have a ‘special’ relationship with a girl who works at a bar (and I am not talking about shagging her) and think she ‘shares’ information with you and no one else. Think again.

Whatever ‘secrets’ you think you share with them – they tell. They tell their pals.. they tell their Mamasan. – They tell their boss. Trust me on that one.

Ever see a group of girls sitting around a table in a bar as it opens… stuffing their faces with Som Tam? They’re talking. What are they talking about? Well, they’re not talking about how they would coordinate the search activities for a missing plane I can tell you.

They’re talking about their conquests. The guy they ‘had’ the night before and maybe that morning – depending if they were up for it. They talk about how much money you spend, if you were rough with them and of course, the size of your manhood. Make no bones about it, nothing is sacred or secret.

Back in the Mango’s hey-day – I would get daily reports from the girls. They were open. They told me about their different ‘boyfriends’. The reason for this is that sooner or later I may have to meet them. A girl will lead you into a false sense of security by showing you where she works. You’ll think that as everyone can see you with her – there is no way she can cheat. I have lost count of the times I have met the boyfriends of a girl who they were all seeing at the same time.

I had a loyalty to all the girls that worked at the Mango. Of course I did. If any guy asked me about a girl, they’d get the same answer… ‘oh her, yeah… she’d lovely. Never goes with anyone, good worker, little shy, just here to earn money to help her family out. I believe she is very close to her sick mother’…etc..etc….

For those long in the tooth… you know these tales. You know the stories given to you by the Mamasans/Managers/Owners are complete tosh.

But if you’re in love with this girl you’ve just met a few days ago… you’ll believe anything!

Over the next month or so, I shall be recalling some of my fave little stories of people who have come and gone over the years when I had a front row seat in a soi 4 Bar.

Even as I sit at work in Turkey, I met a guy in the kitchen talking about his Thai girlfriend. He doesn’t know I’ve been in Thailand for the last 10 years. He doesn’t know I’ve dabbled in the bar business and at one stage had one of the more popular blogs in Bangkok. He has however – heard of ‘Daywalker’. Fame at last!

He tells me of his girlfriend. She’s not a bar girl. She comes from a little village in Issan. He’s bought a house for her and her child to live in together. He says that even though he’s only known the kid a few years – really…. He’s as good as the kids Father.

I struggle to keep my mouth shut. Of course – this could be genuine. But love is blind.

After 5 or so minutes, I have had enough. Time to burst this guys bubble.

He is 63. She is 30. There is the 1st alarm bell. She is not a bar girl. Where did they meet? Of all the places to meet a girl, where is the last place you’d expect to find a well educated good non-bar girl? You guessed it. In a Pattaya bar. 2nd alarm bell.

Does she speak English I asked? ‘Oh yeah.. her English is excellent. 3rd Alarm bell. If she has no formal education then where / how did she learn to speak English so well?

Recently, she was sick. She spent some time in hospital – which he sent money for. She had to go to one of them private expensive hospitals of course. Didn’t know what was wrong with her. She said pneumonia but he wanted to speak (on the phone) to a Doctor. This was not possible as none of the Doctors spoke English. Hmmm.. alarm bell? A private, international hospital and a DOCTOR couldn’t speak English?

I told him of my theory that if you are more than 15 years in age difference – then you are not watching the same movies, you’re not listening to the same music and you are not having the same conversations. A young girl will naturally want to be going out with her mates – shopping for make-up and clothes (shoes). They want to party. And why not? It’s exactly what we did when we were young. –maybe not the buying of make-up, but you know what I mean.

When you’re an old (retired) duffer, you’ll be wanting to have a drink in the afternoon, some food and then fall asleep early watching the TV. That’s the norm when you’re older.

So don’t get all pissed at the girl if that isn’t enough for her and she fucks off for some excitement! We all did it. I certainly did.

But this guy says that they live together as boyfriend and girlfriend. He bought a nice big house for 8m in Pattaya. Doesn’t need to be that big. He is also paying for a house for her parents.

I told him that a girl that young will have no problem about playing the good lady wife for 5-10 years until he pops his clogs and leaves her everything. She’ll sell the house and go back to the village with a ton of money. He can’t see it.

The thing is, where is the problem? He is happy. She’ll eventually be happy. And if we’re honest, sucking on a set of 63 year old saggy balls must be rewarded. So she is going to earn it.

My point is this guy is trying to convince me (or himself) that it’s a ‘real’ relationship. Sorry, but I am too long in the tooth and cynical to believe it.

He believes it – because he is in love.

When I am 63, I’d like nothing more than to have a 21 year old girl on my arm. But we’ll both know exactly why she is there.

So I have a few tales that I have told many times when out with pals…. Sitting round a table getting drunk and laughing.

Even a seasoned veteran like Jonas can fall hook, line and sinker for the ‘wrong’ girl and not see it. Shit… I did too!

There is the customer who told me his girlfriend was away with family, yet I was reliably informed by the staff she was out the night before in Insomnia with some ‘kid’!

There was the customer who said his (good) girl always stayed up country with her parents when he was away – yet Miss Tim and I saw her 2 weeks before in a gogo.

There is the WIFE of a customer who came to the bar to pick up guys for a little ‘pocket money’.

A guy I consider a good pal once showed me a photo of his girlfriend – who was partying with me the weekend before in a penthouse suite in a 5-star hotel.

There was the hot bored rich house-wife who would go for 500bht short times.

The girl that told the customer how she was all alone in this world after loosing both parents at a young age. (always worth a few extra bucks) yet her Mum had a clothing stall not half a mile away!

If my time at the Mango gave me anything – it gave me some odd/funny/sad stories.

To be continued.

Frank… Day 8 (updated)

Hi Trendsetters…so…day 3. Had good intentions to have a bit of a quiet one. Kind of worked until late afternoon. RC was off to get our Budda pendants put into one of these little plastic covers…I am alone in the loom having my 12th hair of the dog….hmm…getting revved up watching AC/DC concert on the laptop.

The plan is to go to Hillary 2 tonight. Plan executed, off we go…phuck, could only manage to get one bike outside the hotel and since I was not in the mood to sit in a taxi for 1 hr to go from soi 23 to 4 we hopped on together…first time experience. Talking of living dangerously 🙂 Continue reading “Frank… Day 8 (updated)”

Frank’s back!

Hi Trendsetters, I am in BKK, all good it’s only been a couple of days but worth a couple of stories already….

Left Perth half pissed as I ran into this guy at the check in (he was off to Patts) and he offered for me to tag along to the Quantas Lounge. Who was I to decline….free piss….flight ok. Once in BKK, got taxi to pick up RC on the way to town…so far the plan is on schedule, threw her over the shoulder and off to Suk Soi 23…..and I kid you not on top of all the cars in BKK, there must have been a special deal for my arrival as it seemed that all the cars in Australia had migrated to Suk road….Phuck it, had a bottle of Absolut and my girl in the back, so started party early….

First day, humid as phuck, off to Shadow at lunchtime to clear RC for the next three weeks….starting to get a buzz on… Continue reading “Frank’s back!”