This is Thailand!








Am I alone in thinking the phrase ‘This is Thailand’ is no longer (was it ever?) an acceptable excuse for sub-standard and outright stupid behaviour?  There was a time where it used to me a giggling matter – something a little cute about the Thai’s.  Like a child drawing on the walls with crayon.  But that was way back when.  What about now?

I know we shouldn’t assume or impose our own countries standards upon a developing country – but a lot has to do with common sense.

It’s 2015 for christ sakes. Half these people have joined the modern world and are glued to Facebook, iPhones, twitter and god knows what else – but yet still have not figured out that a crash helmet will save their lives?

And I am sick of hearing this crap about ‘if its their time, then so be it’.  Utter horse shit.  They are saying that if the drunk truck driver behind them crashes into them at the lights – then it was meant to be?  Really?  The Final Destination franchise could go on forever in Thailand if that were true.

What about all these natural disasters?  Floods, Tsunami – is this a way to get all the people that cheated death in the first place?

And that’s just regarding people taking care of their own lives.  What about the other areas which ‘TiT’ covers?

Thai people being late for an appointment?  The workmen that arrived several hours late due to a late night drinking session the night before.  How many of us could get away with turning up for work several hours late without offering an excuse – just saying ‘This is Europe’.

There are SO many inefficiencies that are just kept under the TiT umbrella that really makes me wonder if the Thai people are just using it as an excuse to be lazy.

Maybe I am looking at it all wrong?   Maybe they are right?  Maybe when the troops landed in Iraq and started shooting the hell out of everything, the troops just say ‘This is America’?

Maybe when someone is jumping into a queue – the people of the queue should say ‘This is England’?

Maybe when I get a lift in Dubai which fucking stinks of B.O – the other people in the lift should say ‘This is Pakistan’?

The people that accept ‘TiT’ as an excuse for sub-standard services and quality.   If we do that, how is it these services will ever improve?

If I were to accept sub-standard quality or services – then that would say something about me.  So NO, I don’t accept it.  If a workman is late – then he can took off and I’ll call someone else in.  If the quality is crap – then I won’t buy it – and I shall tell them also that it’s crap.

This maybe Thailand – but its my standards I live by.

Here is a thought – Why is it possible to drive past a policeman on a bike, with 3 passengers (kids) with no crash helmets, no license or insurance whilst on the wrong side of the road and the its o.k?

Yet if I were to stub a cigarette butt out on the ground – I get a 2k but fine?

This is Thailand?  No… This is fucking ridiculous!

Fight it.



Thailand messed up my life! – by Dan.

I used to be pretty content with my life. I always knew that I would be retiring at 60 and believed that I would have a decent retirement with friends and family around. That all changed 10 years ago – in fact 10 years just gone there in May.

In 2005 I was a manager with not bad prospects and salary. I was fairly happy and content with my lot.

Previously I had taken up Thai Boxing as a way of keeping fit. I soon started thinking about having a trip to LOS. Maybe take in a few shows and do a bit of training in the camps. I’ve mentioned in a previous sub that on my first night in Bangkok I ended up (by accident honestly) sitting at the outside bar of Lollipop in Nana Plaza.

Now that is probably where it all began because since then I’ve be hooked on Thailand. All those smells, pumping music the street carnival of sights just woke my senses. I thought to myself this has got to be better than a night out in the UK. I’m not saying the UK isn’t a good place to live because it is and has a lot to offer. However its not a patch on Thailand for an uncomplicated cheap lifestyle (provided you sensible of course).

After my two week holiday was over I was never more depressed than when I came home on the returning aircraft. All I could think about was how I could get back again. Of course the answer was the old trusty credit card as within 4 months I was back out. Within about another 4 months I was back over again for 30 days. On return from that trip I resigned from my manager’s position as it all seemed pointless with too much responsibility for what I need to do with my life. The only thing that matter was my next trip.

Dan couldn't say what 1st attracted him to Thailand.
Dan couldn’t say what 1st attracted him to Thailand.


Now all I think about is retirement and being able to travel, or stay, in LOS at my pleasure. The last 10 years have been torture – work has been a drudge. Nothing really interests me apart from Thailand.



I surf the Net and Youtube daily for news, forums and blogs about Thailand – sad but true. I know Thailand is changing and people are becoming disillusioned with it but not me. When I think back I probably would be a lot happier if I hadn’t got on that plane all those years ago.

Life continues in Dubai, UK and Thailand…

With Miss Tim’s visa nearing its expiry date, we decided to head to the UK as we’re only 6 hours away. And why not?

Having gotten very frustrated with Thailand and generally falling out of love with the place, the move to Dubai came at just the right time to postpone my (eventual) return to the UK.

I like  Dubai. I like what it has to offer and I like the life I have here. However, I never realised what PLEASURE it is to drive in the UK.  Sorry if I upset anyone living here (I am not really) but the standard of driving here is appalling.    Last weekend in the UK was great when driving.   People didn’t tail-gate, they used their indicators, used the correct lanes and generally had respect for every other road user.  A pleasure!

Even the weather was fantastic. We had the roof down on the car for a while – until it got too hot for us.  Yeah.. in England… who’d have thought?

People moan about the UK (and all their home countries) but maybe we should spend more time focusing on the good points.  Bit like Stickman is doing now.  Although, maybe he is trying a little too hard to convince us NZ is the place to be.  I mean – really.. it’s just fields and sheep isn’t it?

A little bit of shopping done and a night out with the lads was all we had planned.  Not much time for relaxing.

Coming back from the UK and into Dubai,  I headed home while Miss Tim went straight to the Biz lounge for a few hours before heading to Thailand.

We had real fun time this past month and it seemed to pass really quick.  Miss Tim will be back in 3/4 weeks, so I have time to plan the next month.

Ramadan starts in a day or so.   Most of the people on my team at work are going on vacation so it’s going to be quiet in the office (no I don’t work on an oil-rig as some people think?!).   The restaurants, bars and whatever shall be closed during the day and not too much going on at night (for a Westerner).   On the plus side – the roads shall be empty!!!  Wahoo!

Last year in England, I wrote about how Miss Tim and I walked past the Five Guys burger joint that was queuing around the block?!?!   WTF? For a burger?!  How is that possible?  Are they really good burgers or is the service just really crap?   Not having an hour to spend in a queue, we gave it a miss.

5 lads1

Five Guys now has a restaurant (burger bar) in the Dubai Mall.   As the Dubai Mall is less than a 10 min walk from my apartment we thought we’d try it out and see what all the fuss is about.   Not so much as a 1 hour wait (10 mins) the place was busy.  The menu is pretty basic (good) and I didn’t see anyone not finish their food.

Maybe it wasn’t much to look at, but it sure was tasty.  Not sure how many million calories it had and I don’t want to.



Whist stuffing our faces – we did notice the queue outside was getting longer – which gave us an idea.. basically, there are 2 burgers available on the menu – Cheeseburger and Hamburger with everything on it.

yum yum
yum yum

Why is it no one has thought to buy 20 burgers and then go outside to the back of the queue and offer to sell a burger to them – adding on a few bucks to the price?   How many people would be happy to pay a few bucks to not have to queue for 30-40 mins?

Could make a tidy few bucks me thinks?!


So in a few weeks I think I’ll head over to Thailand and see how bad the bar scene is. If you read Stickman – you’ll have a fair idea of how bleak things are looking. Personally, I prefer the stickboybangkok page on the bars.  Good info there for sure.

I’ve been speaking with DavetheRave about his departure from Pretty Lady.  A sad affair which has nothing to do with the venue or the girls (it’s always been popular with the rats) but more about the Management and decision making.

Anyway, nothing lasts forever – and Dave is now in Patpong at the Strip and Black Pagoda.  Which means Patpong will be back on the list of places to go when back in town and out with the rats.

Just as-well as it sounds like Nana/Soi 4 and Cowboy are trying their best to get rid of all the fun.

I feel sorry for the small bar owners (like naughty girls) who have folded.  They don’t make much money as don’t the girls.  The problem with these little bars that have the not so stunning girls working there – they tend to attract punters who will nurse a drink for a long time and maybe only buy 1 lady drink while fooling around with one of the monsters.  These are the guys that don’t like the main-stream gogos as they’re pissed off an being hounded by mamasans to buy drinks.   Can’t stand those bloody Mamasans.

In fact,  forget the big gogos that think the customer is never right – I think it’s about time we identified the little gems out there which would be happy for our custom.  So if anyone has any suggestions we can maybe plan a ‘pokey little one-shop house bar crawl’

Ideas /  suggestions?

Dubai in May

Back in Dubai.
Miss Tim and I arrived back in Dubai the other week and we hit the ground running…


Bit of team-bulding with the chaps at work – we headed to the Paintball place. The heat here is strong. Around 40 degrees, running around, jumping, diving and peeking through holes is not fun. Neither is getting shot to shit.

The set up was good and as with the go-karting we did here – the place was well organized and we were well briefed with the safety aspects. When the people are acting professional, you get the feeling of confidence in the place.

A real good laugh – it may have got a little out of hand, due to the adrenaline rush, we may have continued to shoot people when they were out. Ooops.

The site is pretty good, loads of obstacles, vehicles and wooden huts to use as shields.

A bit like Liverpool.
A bit like Liverpool.








If you’ve never been shot by a paintball – they hurt and leave little round bruises/blood blisters all over you. When I got home, the plan was to head out for a drink with the gang after a bath.

I must have sat in the bath for over an hour – soaking my aching bones and bruises! Good laugh though.

Dune Buggies

The weekend was upon us – what to do? As you know, Fridays are always taken up with a brunch, which leaves Saturday. So,Saturday we decided to hit the dunes in Palaris.

Two-seaters so Miss Tim could be passenger as she didn’t want to drive. These things are great. Again, the usual safety briefing and protective clothing was handed out. We jumped into the buggies and headed for the dunes. Mad fun! Only problem was – it was 2pm on a hot day. Well into the mid-40’s.


Does the roll cage look a little bent??
Does the roll cage look a little bent??

After a little charging around and going a little mad – I managed to do a little jump over a dune and ended up rolling the thing a few times before ending up facing the sky with buggy on it’s ‘back’. All kinds of fluids and shit started leaking out so I climbed out and pushed the thing back on it’s feed. The roll-cage was a little bent but apart from that and a little bruising for Miss Tim – we were good to continue.


With the rolling around and the extreme heat – we ended up pulling over and hurling our guts up.

When we got home – the plan was to head out with the gang after a bath. The usual happened. We bathed and felt all the pains of people who had just been in a dune buggy that rolled down a hill.

The cost to hire one of these for an hour is just over 7000thb. A bit pricey, but a lot of fun.

It didn’t take long, but here in Dubai I have a ‘gang’. At it’s low point (when people are out of town) there are 3 of us and when everyone is together there are 8 of us.

Last week, one of the gang had booked a table for 4  – plus an extra 2 seats for a couple of (Singaporean) girls (my buddy’s friends) who were stopping over in Dubai for a few nights on their way home. They had been on a shopping holiday in Europe for a few weeks courtesy of the boyfriend. He had given his girlfriend $100k for the 2 week trip. Madness.


Our venue was At.Mosphere. The restaurant at the top of the Burj Khalifa (Level 122) Good view, but after a few minutes you soon get bored with that.

I can see my house from here!
I can see my house from here!



The food was, I am sure top quality but to be honest, even if I was a gazillionaire I don’t think I’d return. It was quite expensive compared to elsewhere in the world, but this was Dubai, in the tallest building in the world so you expect it to be expensive. I just thought there would be a better selection I guess.




Friday Brunch – Yalumba – Lé Meridien

Anyway, we had a good time and decided we’d all go to the Friday brunch at Yalumba at the Meridien hotel.. A little on the pricey side at 500 (4500thb) per head – but that included free flowing champagne.

God knows how many bottles we went through – but it was quite a few. The two shoppers had to go straight to the airport from the brunch – drunk. Nice work.

Miss Tim was hammered too – so after brunch went back to my place and put her to bed and the remainder of the gang and I headed to an Irish bar called McGettigans.

The place was heaving full of drunken people who had been brunching somewhere. The place is carnage. The great thing is – everyone was sociable and it’s easy to have a good laugh.

That was the 1st weekend back.. the time flies here and Miss Tim has almost been here a month now.

Time to take a little trip to the UK for 3 days fora spot of shopping. Shall not be spending $100k that’s for sure.

Once upon a time in Bangkok pt2 – by Flank.

(Part 1)

So there I was. In Soi 11. Every time I came back from work up Suk, the fucking shop on the entrance of the Soi was pumping out ‘Can’t touch this’ by MC Hammer….you know, the guy with the Nappy Pants.

So anyway, I developed a routine. One night Nana, next one Cowboy.

Cowboy was slowly starting to grow on me. Black and White, Tilac……yes they are still there now but they were shitloads better then.

At that time Won was coming and going from my place as she pleased and she knew exactly when I was in ‘Soccaboy’….

But it was ok….life was easy then…

So I meet this girl in the Toy Bar….yes, I know….not a top bar but this was a nice chick. No English but good company…figure that one out. It never got anywhere but I sure had fun inside the bar.

Bangkok was slowly starting to grow on me now and so were the girls.

At the time, I used to go a lot to the German bar down past Nana. Enjoy some good food and watch the World Cup. They had some rough freelancers and a GoGo upstairs. It is still there to this day but I didn’t bother last year as I was in Bar 4 a lot.

So all good things had to come to an end. I bought Won 2 handbags an fucked back off to Ozz.

Next assignment was to be in Indonesia for the next 3 years…and I wasn’t to know yet that I would be back in Thailand after that…..