British Indian Food comes to HH!

Back to Normal in HH….

We arrived back in HH yesterday.   Went into town as per the norm and all was not well.

I am not referring to the explosion at the weekend, as that’s all cleared up and forgotten about it would seem.  Although, the town was probably the quietest I have ever seen it.

No, the problem was, there is a new ‘British Indian Restaurant’ recently opened.  Which means my new regime of healthy eating has now gone out the window.

I / we love Indian food. Well, not the pig slop they eat over there, but the UK’s take on Indian food. You know what I mean. Good quality cuts of meat. Diced Chicken breast. No bones. Food that isn’t 70% fat and won’t make you puke.

So we had great expectations for this place and headed on in.

Now, the thing that pisses me off about places who ‘claim’ a theme, is that they should know something about that theme. If the theme is British, then please, do some research. Don’t just have a cushion with the Union Jack on it in the corner and claim it’s a British restaurant.

For starters, the lights were way too bright. So bright that we could feel the heat from above us. The spotlights made us feel like we were on a sunbed. We requested they turn them down a little (they were dimmer switches) – which they did for all of 3 minutes. What we assume to be the owner – then turned them back up to full flood light mode and cooked us more.

There were a few other customers who ordered food – but were later told the dish they ordered was out of stock. Again, this pisses me off.   At the start of the shift – the Chef/Manager should tell all waiting staff what is no longer on the menu that night.

The waiting staff were all new. I don’t blame them for being useless – as it’s down to the Manager/Owner to give them sufficient training. These poor girls were just doing what they were told – which wasn’t a lot.

A few appetizers to get us going – saw us order the Onion Bhaji and a Chicken Pakora. Easy right?

Wrong. The Onion Bhaji was just onion rings in batter. So an onion ring then.   I like onion,so happily ate a few. Couldn’t eat them all as they were drowning in oil and grease.

The Chicken Pakoras were just chunks of chicken in batter.   Again, soaked in oil and grease. Little did I know this was to be the best dish of the night.

Now, being British… I have been to an Indian Restaurant in the UK more than once. I know what the usual/standard dishes look/taste like.   We all know a Lamb Rogan Josh and a Chicken Tikka Massala.   However, it seems the cook/chef in this place does not.

The two dishes looked the same. Tasted similar. Well, the dark brown sauce did. I refused to eat the meat as it was that wobbly, jelly looking fat which turned me right off.

The chicken was not much better. It was a complete disaster.

The Nan bread was not a Nan as we know it. More some kind of crispy pitta bread.   The only thing which looked like it could be served up in a British restaurant was the rice.

With the meal virtually untouched – we got the bill and left. There was no one coming to ask us if our meal was o.k or ask why we had left it all.   Crap customer service. Crap food.   Total amateur showtime.

I can only assume this to be a bunch of Thai’s that have read somewhere that the most popular British dish is infact Chicken Tikka Massala – and therefore opened a restaurant.  The Chef (cook) is probably Thai and has never been to Britain, let alone a  British Indian restaurant.    If any of you have – then you’ll know what to expect.

I’ll eat street rat before I ever venture back in there.

I am now embarrassed that any non-British people visiting this place will think that is what the British eat.

It isn’t.

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