So…Last month finally left Dubai. As I drank champagne on the plane, I gave a little thought to the last few years of my time there.
Dubai is a fast developing place. I often wonder how it has managed to evolve at such incredible pace and why so many people flock there?
I am sure there is a book which explains it all – how and why its become popular with so many, but I imagine it to have been something quite simple – which was planned by a bunch of people sitting around a big table smoking shisha and laughing. – a lot.
First up.. Chief Honcho must have said to the Property planners… ‘ build what you want. Get all the architects who are creative, ambitious, talented – and maybe even a little drunk… to create whatever the fuck they want. No two buildings should be the same.
Then came the roads…. to the transport minister… build roads. A big 6 lane highway that goes straight through the middle. Great.
However, with all the Civils people cashing in and working on the Construction of Dubai, this only left idiots designing the road network. Which means there doesn’t seem to be any logic. It’s a complete nightmare and one wrong turn can see you driving for an hour before returning to the place where you went wrong.
Buildings? Hmm… says the chief… we need people to build these wonderful creations. But who? Well, we’ll just ship in loads of Indians. They’ll work 24/7 on very little pay.
Then all these good looking people arrived, living in their nice new cool looking buildings with modern surroundings. All was well. But then, how do you keep the place clean and who serves all the beautiful people? Hmm.. says the Chief, we’ll just ship in a load of Filipinos. They’ll work 24/7 on very little pay.
We have the nice houses, we have people to serve and keep clean – all we need now is someone to police it.
So the Chief says…. We can have our Emiratees do that. Although, we won’t have enough to police the roads. No.. people who are driving in Dubai can do whatever the hell they want.. We wont have anyone paying attention and will let all the drivers be as dangerous as they want. In fact, we’ll come up with the saying that people who use their indicators are showing a display of weakness.
– and it was going all so well up until then.
There must be a rule book somewhere. I’ve never seen one and I am sure it’d make interesting if not amazing reading.
I once got told I could not sit on a towel on the BEACH. Which was next to my sunbed. No, the towel had to be on the bed. It was my own towel too. Odd. Sooo many stupid rules.
You can also be fined for having a dirty car. Madness. I’d like to know who or how it was decided to instruct officers to spend time identifying dirty cars and issuing them with a fine – instead of deploying them at road-crossings and MAKING the cars stop to let pedestrians cross.
As much as I enjoyed my time there.. I am glad to be away from it.
I’ve got the house, the pool, the new cats and have the UK tv all set up. Everything I need to relax.
The thing I need now – is some new toys. I’ve already mastered how to crash my drone onto next doors roof, I have sunk my radio controlled boats and have smashed my radio controlled helicopter into a million pieces. I need bigger toys.
Recently, I saw a bike in the carpark called a Yamaha M-Slaz. Crap name, but it did look fun. I assumed it to be around the 250-300 size, but after some research – found it to only be 150cc which is very disappointing.
Still, I like it – so I have told Miss Tim to go get me one. And while she is there, she can pick up a new Honda Click too – to replace the little Honda Spacy we bought a few years back. That’ll make 3 bikes.
My reckoning is this…
Honda Click – for popping to the local shops.
Honda PCX 150 – for both of us going into town for dinner
Yamaha M-Slaz – for me to hang out at the local bus stop with my Thai mates and practice stunts. Or maybe just to ride around the back roads exploring when I get bored?
Some great deals on.. well, they’re not ‘deals’ but they are good prices. 51000 for a new Click and 90000 for the M-Slaz,
Which incidentally is cheaper than than the deposit of my Dubai apartment that I have just got back… so everyone’s a winner!
The little Honda Spacey we bought new 3 years ago now has 10k km on it. It still looks like new but I doubt it’s worth anything – so will donate it to a family member back in the village.
I found that ‘up/down Country’ they don’t need things like Registration document, Insurance, road tax and least of all, a crash helmet. But then, when it takes a week to renew a renew the annual tax on a bike, then there is no hope.
Someone in the Thai Government needs to be investing in I.T. Get an army of I.T nerds into putting everything online.
Silly me, what am I talking about? How can you possible carry out your business online when the power goes off it its raining within 100 miles of your house?
Planning my next session in Bangkok which will be in a few weeks. Any recommendations?