One Rat gone… another returns….

With Jonas now having left the sinking ship we know and (used to) love- Thailand… another is returning.  O.k… only for a week or so.. but it’s still good to see the dirty old Rat.

This dirty old Rat is Gamblin Man. He left Thailand a few years back to go and do some Gamblin stuff.  He now resides in Manila but is back for a visit.

So what’s on the cards?   Well, I shall be arriving as per usual, fresh faced into BKK airport at 7am on Friday 4th November.   When better to start than then??

The usual script…..

Head to the Queen Vic for breakfast.  Why not?   GM and Lomeo will of course be there – along with Kiwi Mike (maybe). Hopefully I shall not be too far off 9am and they will not have had too many bloody Mary’s..

From there…. well…  who knows?   Not sure of the planned route yet – and hopefully things will be back to normal?   But fear things will be a little subdued than normal.

So where to go?   Some of the bars we want to hit are….(in no particular order)

Morning Night – just for a quick drink to pay homage to Jonas – and send him photos.

Moderation,  Too Easy,  Fox & Hound,  Bar 4, Big Dogs,  Queens Park Plaza – then head over to Pat Pong. Not been there for a long time?

Returning to Hooters on 4 at some point – to get a snack with the WAG’s.  Then into the night again.

Thing is, the only attraction these days  – is to see the Rats again.  (not gay). The bars are losing their appeal and the reason we jump from bar to bar is to keep up entertained.

If we find a good spot somewhere – there is every chance we’ll just end up staying there.

So if you see us out during the day….   do say hello and join us for a beer…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jooooonas has left the Country

Jonas was leaving Thailand. This called for a celebration. Well, sort of.

Coming straight from Iraq…

Arriving in Bangkok at 07:30 I had half an hour wait until my pal Russ landed – from Dubai. An easy way to kill half an hour in Survurnabumi is to be in the immigration queue behind a bunch of dickheads that have not filled in their landing cards so choose to do so at the immigration counter. Dicks.

You’ll notice that at Immigration, before you enter into the queuing system, some little Thai girls will check you’ve filled in your card. Good. Great. Fantastic. These girls are great.

However, there is no one checking the people who enter the Fast-Track immigration hall. Oh no. So 8 out of 10 people in front of me had failed to fill in their landing cards. Dicks.

Still, had time to kill so was not going to let this stress me out.

A short wait and Russ was there. We headed downstairs to the taxi rank and got a ticketed number. Looking down the line of cars to see where no.41 is… Lots of fairly new taxis infront of us – until we saw some old piece of shit Toyota under the no.41. Great. Had we not have been in high spirits I would have just told him to naff-off and got another number. But, as we were busy chatting and plotting our day, we didn’t notice the lack of aircon, seatbelts and a driver who kept picking his nose the entire journey.

The little bastard took us a route that wasn’t on the express-way – so it took us almost 2 hours to reach the Queen Vic where Jonas and Lomeo were waiting. We had arranged to be there at 09:30 – but we got there just before 10. A little late. Sorry.

Queen Vic – Breakfast Favourite –  Four Bloody Marys and 4 breakfasts we were ready to start the days drinking. Lomeo & Jonas were already an hour into their drinking.
Oddly we were the only customers in there, yet had to wave and make a noise to get some attention for service.

The the staff were o.k though and we had a bit of a laugh with one of the girls over Jonas’s order. He wanted Scrambled egg and bakes beans on toast – without the beans. Now, to you and I, that’s just egg on toast. But to the the Thai it makes perfect sense as on the menu it says ‘egg and beans’. Jonas has been here long enough to know that they would understand ‘without beans’ rather than not mention the beans. That amused us. Especially when she delivered the food and Jonas said he asked for extra beans. She knew it was a joke and laughed with us. Nice staff. We’ll be back.

As short walk through a sleepy Soi Cowboy saw the night-crawlers in the soi in their ‘civvy’ clothing, flip-flops with no make up ordering and eating noddles from the street carts. Such a different scene from 12 hours previous.

Cutting under the road to cross at the tube/train station, passing the ‘security’ who wasn’t securing anything and made our way to the Drunken Leprechaun on Soi 15

First time in the D.L.- Nice little bar – but before 12 there is little custom/atmosphere. Grey Goose was the preferred weapon of choice for Jonas and I – whilst Lomeo and Russ were on the beers.

We were all totally sober and eager to get into the drunken mess we were aiming for. The D.L wasn’t the place to do it. I guess we caught them out early and they were not prepared for us. No music or TV on.

One drink and out. From what I remember the pricing was very reasonable. I could be wrong?

Russ and I were carrying small bags and wanted to dump them off early so we didn’t have to lug them around all day.

After the D.L we made the decision to head straight to Nana.. then work our way to DiPlace opposite the old Mango to set up camp.

We walked from soi 15 to 4 – pointing out to Russ all the girls ‘waiting for a bus’ between soi 1-5. That bus never seems to come as they’re waiting there for ages. Maybe they should check the bus time-table?

It had gone 11am so the make-shift stalls selling dildos, Viagra and Tasers were already out attracting custom from pervs, old fellas and Thai door staff.
We arrived at Soi 4.

Morning Night. – I am sure it wasn’t the first time Jonas had been there that morning. Many of the girls saying “hello” and “welcome back”. Another Grey Goose and beers… went down well.

I think we stayed for a couple of drinks as we waited for Jonas to talk to all the girls who were asking where he is going, where his kid is, where their child support is..etc….

Next was Stumble Inn. –  After the last ‘not so good’ experience in there, DavetheRave persuaded me to give it another go.

I now know why it’s called the ‘Stumble Inn’. Because we’ll have to be pretty fucking drunk to go back in there..

I’d like to say it was better than my last visit, but I can’t. Once again they served my GG in a small lady-drink size tumbler. All of the service girls we saw were glued to their phones and we had to make some effort to get their attention. It’s not the girls fault, it’s the Manager/Supervisor. A good Manager will motivate their staff.

Still not happy with the Lady Drink glass.
Still not happy with the Lady Drink glass.
Pity its not a Galaxy Note..
Pity its not a Galaxy Note..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dave(theRave), sorry pal, but your communications to them didn’t seem to work.

Not going to dwell on it. Moved onto the next (generic) bar.

Hilary something. –  Grey Goose and beers – and make it quick.

Now, if you’re a Vodka drinker – then you’ll know that Grey Goose and other vodkas in the same price bracket are very smooth and easy on the pallet. So after 3 or 4 GG’s – we could tell straight away that the GG we had been given was far from Gray or Goose like.

The difference between and Absolute and a GG is like tea and coffee. We complained but the bar staff just waved the bottle at us. We are not stupid. It’s easy enough to top up a premium bottle with crap if they wanted to. *but just to say officially, I am not accusing them of switching the bottle content. I am just saying the vodka didn’t taste like all the others we had that morning.* – 

We left, never to return again.

Big Dogs next… –  The momentum was picking up. We like Big Dogs for the view. If you’re sitting inside the bar then it’s shit. We hoofed a bunch of girls out of the corner and took up residence. Don’t think they had G.G Vodka – but I think they had something similar. We stayed for more than a few drinks. The corner is a great spot and the views are great.

Feeling comfy, relaxed and on the road to drunkness, we actually had time for a good catch up. I think that was the only time that day that we actually all sat together and shot the shit properly. That’s down to the venue and the cool seating.

A few months ago Jonas had a fallout with the Hooters staff for not honouring his 20% discount card. They claimed the cards were being replaced, but until now, he has not received anything.

As Jonas was still mad at Hooters, we didn’t even cross the road. Bar4 would have been next, but as it’s on the same side of the road as Hooters, and Jonas was mad.. we walked on.

A quick pitstop in DiPlace to dump our bags off. My driver was picking us up at midnight so we only needed it for the day. The girls on reception were nice and couldn’t understand we didn’t want to use the room for anything other than putting our bags in. Oh.. and maybe a dump – as public toilets disgust me.

For under 1000bht – DiPlace isn’t bad at all. Clean rooms, if not a little small and prime location. Not sure I’d want to spend much time in there on my own.

Having thought about it – I checked in with my pal and was out in half an hour with wet hair (Russ) and fresh clothes. Hmm… looks like we had a gay short-time?!

We were supposed to visit Jersey Bar and the others around there – but it was too early. The ‘generic’ bars on soi 4 had nothing to offer us so we headed to soi 22

After getting turned down by many taxi’s before 1 agreed to take us, we got dumped outside Titanium… a 30 second walk from Too Easy

Too Easy Bar.

As you know – this is Jar’s bar. We like it in there. Very friendly staff – pleasant and polite. Good healthy sized pours in proper tumblers. Great. Youtube on the screen for you play your own music.

What’s not to like?

An hour easily passed and with the arrival of Big Dom, we headed into sunlight to find another bar.

Memory starts to get a little hazy around here….

ld3

Shag Bar 2

Never been to this bar before. Not bad. The staff were all friendly (I know, it’s their job right?) and the Cashier/Gaffer was a no-nonsense straight talker. Good vibe in there and drinks were now being consumed at a faster pace.

Jonas was now in new territory and had not heard his name called out by a hooker for a few hours.

Checking my phone, I have a picture of Russ cuddling a dog? Not sure where that came from, who took it or where the dog is now? Was it even that bar?

After parting with several thousand baht, we headed out. Not sure if these bars are in the right order?

Kennel fine?
He still bar-fined it.

Fox & Hound – a mates bar who is sadly fighting the big C. Apparently it’s an English bar but the only thing in their which was English was me. Nice staff though, very attentive and friendly. Our one drink and out the door policy had long since been abandoned and we were officially drunk by now.

Drinking spirits 1 for 1 against the guys on beers is never good. If the beer drinkers keep up with the Spirit drinkers – then they get full and bloated. If the Spirit drinkers reorder a another drink while waiting for the beer drinkers, then they get wasted quicker. So we all just kinda went at our own pace and whoever had booze left when we decided to move on basically had to down it.

Moderation Bar – No idea what went on in here or how long we were in there for? I really can’t remember it – or I am getting it confused with another bar? That doesn’t mean it’s a bad bar. I just don’t remember anything about it?!

no idea where this was taken?
no idea where this was taken?

Top Secret – Good bar this. We had some crack with some of the other punters and most of the staff. Bought several drinks and received them back from the Owner. Lots of fun in there. It was at this juncture that our 1st victim was claimed. Russ was wasted. Pretty poor effort for a big American. Just goes to prove their bark is worse than their bite.

Bills paid, goodbyes said and off back to DiPlace we headed – with a jabbering mess Russ.

We left Russ in the bed hoping he’d quit his Jibber-Jabber and join us later, but we knew he was out for the count. Americans.

DiPlace – We’d paid for the bed, so may aswell use it. The girls laughed at us on the way in – as we had been full of bravado saying we were here to drink all day and won’t need the room. There we were a few hours later – all drunk and looking for a nap. Well, Russ was.

Are they stains on the bed?
Are they stains on the bed?

As we were in Soi 4 – we thought it only right we see what Aussie John was upto. Sure enough we found him propping up a stall in H2. Like the A-Team rescuing Murdock, we were out of there in a shot. Staggering to the Plaza thinking of where to go first.

Spankys – Someone suggested Spankys? The name suggests its going to be fun and buzzing – but for me, unless you’re sitting ring-side, gogo’s are not fun at all. Spankys is small and we were shown to the back, upper –tier. Left to look like Meerkats, it just didn’t do it for us.

Drinks were flowing and the grog was just about to claim it’s next victim. Lomeo was drooling, talking to himself, falling all over the place and groping women. But by the time he got to Spankys, he was drunk too. Aussie John played Dad and put Lomeo in a taxi.

Didn’t see anyone else after that. Jonas and I were in the Plaza on our own.. just as we were 10 years previous.

Jailbirdz – This place has been so up and down, hit and miss for several years now. This visit was a ‘hit’! My god, where did all the girls come from? The carousel was absolutely jam packed.

Never before have I seen it so busy. I assume they are paying the best rates? Bumped into some old faces. We had abandoned the Grey Goose by now. Asking some waitress if they have Grey Goose without being able to point at it across the bar is not going to work.. so just ordered the nasty, cheap rank stuff. We were drunk enough to not care any more.

I remember buying a few rounds of drinks – which included the cashier (old Mango party girl from Pretty Lady) and the Mamasan who was lurking around (we knew her from old, so I didn’t mind) and was presented with a bill of more than 4000bht. I didn’t have the energy in me to examine the bill – but I am sure we didn’t all drink that amount.

Mandarin- Time for one last bar. Mandarin. For the simple reason it was the 1st bar you come to at the top of the stairs. How many customers do they ‘win’ just for that location?

Mandarin does have some pretty girls – but I just don’t like the set up – where as soon as the girls finish their set, the Mamasan walks them round the floor and pushes them onto punters. It just seems a bit forced to me.

Jonas and I had a few drinks and many laughs. Time was coming to an end.

Soi 4

We headed back to DiPlace and woke Russ up.

My driver was waiting for us at Nana Carpark. Jonas was not done with the night – and had some Swedish pals lurking around somewhere, so he took the key to the room and wandered off into the night – knowing he had somewhere to crash later on.

Come to think of it… didn’t I hand over 1000 deposit at DiPlace? Hmmm….

At midnight, I ordered a couple of Nana Burgers for Russ and I and got in the car. ‘Take me home my good man’. – how many times has that been said in the Nana Carpark? In this instance though, it was to my driver and off we went to Hua Hin.

Not before Jonas and I hugged it out under the Nana Plaza entrance. 10 years ago we met there. I couldn’t guess how many times we had been through the Nana entrance together? So it was a perfect place to bid farewell to my good friend and Brother, Jonas.

Farewell, but not goodbye. Until we meet again…..

Not gay.
Not gay.

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Off to Europe

I’ve had very little time to get around to posting anything new. I just don’t have the time these days.

Where to begin..? It’s been 3 weeks since I headed home for a bit of R&R… Three weeks and 7 different countries.

From Iraq to Thailand and then the UK.

Flying Qatar this time to Thailand. Rather impressed I have to say. I am sure Qatar have knocked Emirates off their no.1 slot?

Qatar Airways cabin seems a bit 'neater' than Emirates.
Qatar Airways cabin seems a bit ‘neater’ than Emirates.

Only a flying visit into Thailand – to have a ‘session’ with the gang and Jonas to for his leaving do (more on that later) and to pick Miss Tim up.

After dealing with incompetent idiots – and getting a Schengen visa for Miss Tim – off we set for our little European break.

We headed to the UK first for a few days to do a little shopping and stuff our faces with kebabs and Chinese food. Still we struggle to find good quality crap food in Thailand.

The most direct flight to Barcelona from the UK was from Luton, flying with Sleazy Jet. Ever used them? Complete and utter shite.

Booking the tickets online, I had to select (and pay) for seats, pay for luggage. Check-in online and print the boarding pass. Exactly what is it these people are doing these days?

The suitcase was 2 kilos over its allowance – so they wanted to charge me 20 quid extra. Instead I took out a couple of pairs of trainers and put them in my hand luggage. This pisses me off. If my luggage was 2 kilos under weight would they have given me 20 back? And why am I getting charged by the kilo and then then sit in a seat next to a big fat bastard who is 20kg bigger than me?

These low-budget airlines are a complete scam. They trying to come across as being low-budget, value airline, when in reality you pay for every extra and they employ numpties.
From now on, I’ll go out of my way to fly with someone who knows what they’re doing.

Car Hire

Arriving at Barcelona – we headed to the car hire office. We had to get on a minibus and drive 10 mins to the main office. The car we booked was not available and we had to take some other piece of shit. The insurance I had purchased through their website apparently didn’t cover what I was lead to believe was – therefor needed further insurance which was more than the hire of the car itself. Right then I was ready to tell them to shove it up their arse and walk out.

As I was god knows where, in the middle of some industrial estate with a big suitcase and a sleepy miss Tim, I had to just accept it. I am fully intending to call them a bunch of twats when I return the car – but as they have also ‘held’ a few grand on my credit card, I guess I’ll have to wait for the abuse until they return it – after 30 days. Twats. I am currently waiting for my money to be returned before filling out their customer feedback survey they sent me.

Barcelona

As we were in Spain to see Miss Tims best pal, we stayed in the hotel close by so we didn’t have to get taxis. It was also ideal for having breakfast and doing our laundry.

Lots to do and see in Barcelona and not enough time to do it all. Miss Tims friend ‘Miss Nok’ and her husband did a great job of showing us around and entertaining us.

No wifi in here.
No wifi in here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of the things we had to adjust to was eating late at night. The Spanish tend to not go out for dinner before 9. I am usually on the way to being sound asleep by then.

France

After 3 or 4 days, we headed to my pals house in France. Huge house in the mountains. My pals had arranged a dinner party with people from the village – with Miss Tim cooking. She did a great job and all the village people were impressed.

Only 3 days in France. Each day walking up mountains and breathing the fresh air. A fantastic place for peace and quiet.

Morning walkies
Morning walkies

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My pal works a month on and a month off – as I do. We couldn’t help but compare lifestyles. Each morning, he and his wife have breakfast, pop into town, mosey around, have a bit of a nap in the afternoon and then go into town for dinner and drinks. A life totally different to what I was upto 5-10 years ago, but something I really do enjoy now (that I am old).

Back to Barcelona for a day to see Miss Nok and make use of her washing machine. We could have used the hotel facilities – but as they hoofed us out of our room at they were ripping us off on the parking – we refused to give them our business!

Alicante

I have another (uk) pal who has sold up in England and moved to Alicante. Thought it’d be a nice drive down through Spain so Miss Tim could see a bit of the country. Turns out, 10 mins would have done it. Flat, uninteresting and full of lorries was all she learned.

Alicante was not much better. I am sure my pal is happy with his ‘lot’. But it’s not for us. I have lived in Spain before. In a place just on the coast from Jerez. A nice place. Lots of Spanish and Paella.

In Alicante… my god. It is Brit central. I guess that’s fine if you don’t want to speak any Spanish, know any Spanish people, eat any Spanish food and do anything other than sit in a bar with other Brits all day.

Dreadful. All it has is the weather. One night was enough. We went to a local restaurant which wasn’t British and tried to pretend we were anywhere else.

It was good catching up with my pal, but other than that, I shall never return.

Barcelona

Headed back up the road the next morning. It’s a long drive – 5 hours or so, but Miss Tim and I tend to laugh and joke a lot, so driving is not really a problem. We find it quite amusing.

Our last night in Barcelona and Miss Nok and Hubby took us to a Spanish Steak restaurant (around 10pm). It was totally out of the way and not frequented by tourists. Mr Nok did all the ordering and what a banquet it was. If you like meat – this was for you. Basically it was just half a cow on the table which I am sure still had a beating heart. Twice Miss Tim and I had to send back ‘cuts’ to have them cooked (more).

The last morning was a relaxed one. Coffee and a Croissant with Miss Nok and said our farewells. Just so happens she is back in Thailand this week – so Miss Tim will hook up again.

UK

Had to endure some fat cow on the sleazy jet flight making a big fuss about a little turbulence. Her equally fat mate was on the other side of the isle who had to hold her hand, making the air cabin crew keep asking to be let past. I guess these two girls were used to this – as there must be a bridge somewhere these ugly trogs charge people to cross.

Back in the UK – we were half an hour away from another of Miss Tims pals – so off we went to say hello. Her pal ‘Luk’ always puts on a huge spread when we go round, even if we tell them we’re not hungry and don’t want to eat. She was having none of it and cooked for 7 families.  We stuffed our faces and headed home.  Oh how I longed for my own bed in the UK.

Hua Hin

A few days in the UK and then headed back to Thailand via Amsterdam and Dubai. Miss Tim and I are used to traveling – and make light work of it. Having said that, it was good to get home, unpack the suitcases and lay on the sofa.

No rest for the wicked though – as I had to head back to work in 20 hours.

Just enough time to head into the town and check out the new Mall. We liked the old Mall, as it was small enough that we knew each shop and know where to find anything we need. The new Mall? Well, it’s bigger and nicer of course – as it’s only been open a few days. We liked it. Spent a few hours wandering around and checking out the new shops and had a spot of lunch.

New Mall...
New Mall…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We do however wonder what will come of the old Mall – which is about half a km down the road from the new Mall. Madness? Why would they build a new one next to the existing one?

One thing I was impressed about is the cinema. Showing movies with the original soundtrack (English) instead of Thai only. Looks like the old Mall will soon die a sad death?

A quick stop at our favorite little Italian restaurant before my driver took me to the airport.
Body clock is totally messed up now. Currently I am in Doha airport lounge. Not sure if I am tired or awake?

One thing is for sure. I really am missing Thailand right now. It’s been a long time since I really missed it. Hopefully the next 4 weeks will fly-by and I’ll soon be back poolside.

The plan is to spend all of November doing absolutely nothing other than relaxing in Hua Hin.

– or maybe a little trip to Dubai?