Jonas was leaving Thailand. This called for a celebration. Well, sort of.
Coming straight from Iraq…
Arriving in Bangkok at 07:30 I had half an hour wait until my pal Russ landed – from Dubai. An easy way to kill half an hour in Survurnabumi is to be in the immigration queue behind a bunch of dickheads that have not filled in their landing cards so choose to do so at the immigration counter. Dicks.
You’ll notice that at Immigration, before you enter into the queuing system, some little Thai girls will check you’ve filled in your card. Good. Great. Fantastic. These girls are great.
However, there is no one checking the people who enter the Fast-Track immigration hall. Oh no. So 8 out of 10 people in front of me had failed to fill in their landing cards. Dicks.
Still, had time to kill so was not going to let this stress me out.
A short wait and Russ was there. We headed downstairs to the taxi rank and got a ticketed number. Looking down the line of cars to see where no.41 is… Lots of fairly new taxis infront of us – until we saw some old piece of shit Toyota under the no.41. Great. Had we not have been in high spirits I would have just told him to naff-off and got another number. But, as we were busy chatting and plotting our day, we didn’t notice the lack of aircon, seatbelts and a driver who kept picking his nose the entire journey.
The little bastard took us a route that wasn’t on the express-way – so it took us almost 2 hours to reach the Queen Vic where Jonas and Lomeo were waiting. We had arranged to be there at 09:30 – but we got there just before 10. A little late. Sorry.
Queen Vic – Breakfast Favourite – Four Bloody Marys and 4 breakfasts we were ready to start the days drinking. Lomeo & Jonas were already an hour into their drinking.
Oddly we were the only customers in there, yet had to wave and make a noise to get some attention for service.
The the staff were o.k though and we had a bit of a laugh with one of the girls over Jonas’s order. He wanted Scrambled egg and bakes beans on toast – without the beans. Now, to you and I, that’s just egg on toast. But to the the Thai it makes perfect sense as on the menu it says ‘egg and beans’. Jonas has been here long enough to know that they would understand ‘without beans’ rather than not mention the beans. That amused us. Especially when she delivered the food and Jonas said he asked for extra beans. She knew it was a joke and laughed with us. Nice staff. We’ll be back.
As short walk through a sleepy Soi Cowboy saw the night-crawlers in the soi in their ‘civvy’ clothing, flip-flops with no make up ordering and eating noddles from the street carts. Such a different scene from 12 hours previous.
Cutting under the road to cross at the tube/train station, passing the ‘security’ who wasn’t securing anything and made our way to the Drunken Leprechaun on Soi 15
First time in the D.L.- Nice little bar – but before 12 there is little custom/atmosphere. Grey Goose was the preferred weapon of choice for Jonas and I – whilst Lomeo and Russ were on the beers.
We were all totally sober and eager to get into the drunken mess we were aiming for. The D.L wasn’t the place to do it. I guess we caught them out early and they were not prepared for us. No music or TV on.
One drink and out. From what I remember the pricing was very reasonable. I could be wrong?
Russ and I were carrying small bags and wanted to dump them off early so we didn’t have to lug them around all day.
After the D.L we made the decision to head straight to Nana.. then work our way to DiPlace opposite the old Mango to set up camp.
We walked from soi 15 to 4 – pointing out to Russ all the girls ‘waiting for a bus’ between soi 1-5. That bus never seems to come as they’re waiting there for ages. Maybe they should check the bus time-table?
It had gone 11am so the make-shift stalls selling dildos, Viagra and Tasers were already out attracting custom from pervs, old fellas and Thai door staff.
We arrived at Soi 4.
Morning Night. – I am sure it wasn’t the first time Jonas had been there that morning. Many of the girls saying “hello” and “welcome back”. Another Grey Goose and beers… went down well.
I think we stayed for a couple of drinks as we waited for Jonas to talk to all the girls who were asking where he is going, where his kid is, where their child support is..etc….
Next was Stumble Inn. – After the last ‘not so good’ experience in there, DavetheRave persuaded me to give it another go.
I now know why it’s called the ‘Stumble Inn’. Because we’ll have to be pretty fucking drunk to go back in there..
I’d like to say it was better than my last visit, but I can’t. Once again they served my GG in a small lady-drink size tumbler. All of the service girls we saw were glued to their phones and we had to make some effort to get their attention. It’s not the girls fault, it’s the Manager/Supervisor. A good Manager will motivate their staff.
Dave(theRave), sorry pal, but your communications to them didn’t seem to work.
Not going to dwell on it. Moved onto the next (generic) bar.
Hilary something. – Grey Goose and beers – and make it quick.
Now, if you’re a Vodka drinker – then you’ll know that Grey Goose and other vodkas in the same price bracket are very smooth and easy on the pallet. So after 3 or 4 GG’s – we could tell straight away that the GG we had been given was far from Gray or Goose like.
The difference between and Absolute and a GG is like tea and coffee. We complained but the bar staff just waved the bottle at us. We are not stupid. It’s easy enough to top up a premium bottle with crap if they wanted to. *but just to say officially, I am not accusing them of switching the bottle content. I am just saying the vodka didn’t taste like all the others we had that morning.* –
We left, never to return again.
Big Dogs next… – The momentum was picking up. We like Big Dogs for the view. If you’re sitting inside the bar then it’s shit. We hoofed a bunch of girls out of the corner and took up residence. Don’t think they had G.G Vodka – but I think they had something similar. We stayed for more than a few drinks. The corner is a great spot and the views are great.
Feeling comfy, relaxed and on the road to drunkness, we actually had time for a good catch up. I think that was the only time that day that we actually all sat together and shot the shit properly. That’s down to the venue and the cool seating.
A few months ago Jonas had a fallout with the Hooters staff for not honouring his 20% discount card. They claimed the cards were being replaced, but until now, he has not received anything.
As Jonas was still mad at Hooters, we didn’t even cross the road. Bar4 would have been next, but as it’s on the same side of the road as Hooters, and Jonas was mad.. we walked on.
A quick pitstop in DiPlace to dump our bags off. My driver was picking us up at midnight so we only needed it for the day. The girls on reception were nice and couldn’t understand we didn’t want to use the room for anything other than putting our bags in. Oh.. and maybe a dump – as public toilets disgust me.
For under 1000bht – DiPlace isn’t bad at all. Clean rooms, if not a little small and prime location. Not sure I’d want to spend much time in there on my own.
Having thought about it – I checked in with my pal and was out in half an hour with wet hair (Russ) and fresh clothes. Hmm… looks like we had a gay short-time?!
We were supposed to visit Jersey Bar and the others around there – but it was too early. The ‘generic’ bars on soi 4 had nothing to offer us so we headed to soi 22
After getting turned down by many taxi’s before 1 agreed to take us, we got dumped outside Titanium… a 30 second walk from Too Easy
Too Easy Bar.
As you know – this is Jar’s bar. We like it in there. Very friendly staff – pleasant and polite. Good healthy sized pours in proper tumblers. Great. Youtube on the screen for you play your own music.
What’s not to like?
An hour easily passed and with the arrival of Big Dom, we headed into sunlight to find another bar.
Memory starts to get a little hazy around here….
Shag Bar 2
Never been to this bar before. Not bad. The staff were all friendly (I know, it’s their job right?) and the Cashier/Gaffer was a no-nonsense straight talker. Good vibe in there and drinks were now being consumed at a faster pace.
Jonas was now in new territory and had not heard his name called out by a hooker for a few hours.
Checking my phone, I have a picture of Russ cuddling a dog? Not sure where that came from, who took it or where the dog is now? Was it even that bar?
After parting with several thousand baht, we headed out. Not sure if these bars are in the right order?
Fox & Hound – a mates bar who is sadly fighting the big C. Apparently it’s an English bar but the only thing in their which was English was me. Nice staff though, very attentive and friendly. Our one drink and out the door policy had long since been abandoned and we were officially drunk by now.
Drinking spirits 1 for 1 against the guys on beers is never good. If the beer drinkers keep up with the Spirit drinkers – then they get full and bloated. If the Spirit drinkers reorder a another drink while waiting for the beer drinkers, then they get wasted quicker. So we all just kinda went at our own pace and whoever had booze left when we decided to move on basically had to down it.
Moderation Bar – No idea what went on in here or how long we were in there for? I really can’t remember it – or I am getting it confused with another bar? That doesn’t mean it’s a bad bar. I just don’t remember anything about it?!
Top Secret – Good bar this. We had some crack with some of the other punters and most of the staff. Bought several drinks and received them back from the Owner. Lots of fun in there. It was at this juncture that our 1st victim was claimed. Russ was wasted. Pretty poor effort for a big American. Just goes to prove their bark is worse than their bite.
Bills paid, goodbyes said and off back to DiPlace we headed – with a jabbering mess Russ.
We left Russ in the bed hoping he’d quit his Jibber-Jabber and join us later, but we knew he was out for the count. Americans.
DiPlace – We’d paid for the bed, so may aswell use it. The girls laughed at us on the way in – as we had been full of bravado saying we were here to drink all day and won’t need the room. There we were a few hours later – all drunk and looking for a nap. Well, Russ was.
As we were in Soi 4 – we thought it only right we see what Aussie John was upto. Sure enough we found him propping up a stall in H2. Like the A-Team rescuing Murdock, we were out of there in a shot. Staggering to the Plaza thinking of where to go first.
Spankys – Someone suggested Spankys? The name suggests its going to be fun and buzzing – but for me, unless you’re sitting ring-side, gogo’s are not fun at all. Spankys is small and we were shown to the back, upper –tier. Left to look like Meerkats, it just didn’t do it for us.
Drinks were flowing and the grog was just about to claim it’s next victim. Lomeo was drooling, talking to himself, falling all over the place and groping women. But by the time he got to Spankys, he was drunk too. Aussie John played Dad and put Lomeo in a taxi.
Didn’t see anyone else after that. Jonas and I were in the Plaza on our own.. just as we were 10 years previous.
Jailbirdz – This place has been so up and down, hit and miss for several years now. This visit was a ‘hit’! My god, where did all the girls come from? The carousel was absolutely jam packed.
Never before have I seen it so busy. I assume they are paying the best rates? Bumped into some old faces. We had abandoned the Grey Goose by now. Asking some waitress if they have Grey Goose without being able to point at it across the bar is not going to work.. so just ordered the nasty, cheap rank stuff. We were drunk enough to not care any more.
I remember buying a few rounds of drinks – which included the cashier (old Mango party girl from Pretty Lady) and the Mamasan who was lurking around (we knew her from old, so I didn’t mind) and was presented with a bill of more than 4000bht. I didn’t have the energy in me to examine the bill – but I am sure we didn’t all drink that amount.
Mandarin- Time for one last bar. Mandarin. For the simple reason it was the 1st bar you come to at the top of the stairs. How many customers do they ‘win’ just for that location?
Mandarin does have some pretty girls – but I just don’t like the set up – where as soon as the girls finish their set, the Mamasan walks them round the floor and pushes them onto punters. It just seems a bit forced to me.
Jonas and I had a few drinks and many laughs. Time was coming to an end.
We headed back to DiPlace and woke Russ up.
My driver was waiting for us at Nana Carpark. Jonas was not done with the night – and had some Swedish pals lurking around somewhere, so he took the key to the room and wandered off into the night – knowing he had somewhere to crash later on.
Come to think of it… didn’t I hand over 1000 deposit at DiPlace? Hmmm….
At midnight, I ordered a couple of Nana Burgers for Russ and I and got in the car. ‘Take me home my good man’. – how many times has that been said in the Nana Carpark? In this instance though, it was to my driver and off we went to Hua Hin.
Not before Jonas and I hugged it out under the Nana Plaza entrance. 10 years ago we met there. I couldn’t guess how many times we had been through the Nana entrance together? So it was a perfect place to bid farewell to my good friend and Brother, Jonas.
Farewell, but not goodbye. Until we meet again…..