Another month… another night out with the Rats (no Jonas)

Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun?   It’s been 7 weeks since our last group session.  Last time Jonas was leaving, this time GM was coming back for a visit.

Once again, straight off the plane into a nasty little piece of shit taxi.  I think in the future I shall have to take 2 or 3 tickets and hopefully one of the taxis would have been built this century.     As with all old crap taxis, the driver is a toothless old guy who looks like he has slept in his shirt.    Straight away he told me he wanted 600 to sukhumvit 11 as there was ‘big traffic’.   Dick.

I usually give them 500 – even though the meter has never been above 250.    This old bastard told me how he had a large family etc…   I wish he has gotten this out of the way before I had put my case in the trunk and belted in.   I’d have just walked off.

I told him he could have 500 if he pays for the expressway.. he agreed and off we went.

About 30 mins into the journey, he cut someone up, or they cut him up  – I am not sure, as there doesn’t seem to be any specific rules of the road that I can see.  Anyway, he started shouting at another taxi driver.  The lane was slowly crawling (near a toll booth) and my taxi driver popped his trunk, got out and produced a lead pipe and approached the window of the taxi alongside us.

I am sure this was all for show – as it was right next to a Police booth who saw it all.   Within seconds a cop strolled over with a mouth full of food… crumbs all down his front and looked most angry that his food eating had been interrupted.  He told my driver to get back in his car (ignoring the lead pipe being waved around) and told the other driver to naff off too.   Amazing.

I can only assume my driver was acting on my own interests of getting me to Soi 11 as quick as he could?!

For the 1st time ever, I made it to soi 11 pretty darn quick.  From touchdown to sit down (in the bar) was just over an hour. – which meant I was an hour early.  No problem.  A nice cup of tea before the chaps arrive.

Has anyone noticed how much of a craphole soi 11 is these days?    O.k, so a lot of it is under construction – in which case you’d expect the Construction company to fence off the work, leave space for pedestrians and clean up all their crap.  Silly me, I forgot, this is Thailand.

Lomeo, GM and Kiwi Mike showed up at 09:30 or soon after.   Breakfast ordered with Bloody Mary’s whilst we watch the monster of a woman on the opposite side of the road organize / direct traffic.  And by that I mean she stopped the whole street.  Told taxi’s what to do and where to go, told Truck drivers where to put their trucks and even pushed parked cars out the way.  As ugly as hell, we all agreed, but we couldn’t think of anyone else who could have done that job better than she could.  At one point a cop showed up, trying to see what was going on – but he didn’t have a clue.  He stayed out of her way, as I am sure she could have snapped him in half like a chicken wing.

Food was o.k in Mulligans, but the service was pretty crap.  We had a new girl service us – who was polite and friendly, but we can only assume her supervisor or some girl who was now no longer the new girl stood at the end of the bar and just ignored us when we motioned over to her to order drinks.  At one point she even shouted ‘what do we want’?!   Cow.    Eventually the new girl came and took our orders.

Around 11:30 I went next door to Citidines to check in.  I was staying there for one night.  In the past, we had taken a shine to this place.  Nice big rooms for very little money.  This was not exception.  For just over 1500bht we had a large room, kitchenette, lounge area, sofa, desk, double bed and a TV that was on a rail which moved from the sleeping area to the lounge area.  All in all, a fantastic room/layout for the money.  The only problem is, the place is now looking a little tired and need of a renovation.

Out if soi 11… we headed to the drunken leprechaun again.  Pretty crap in there really – but that was down to us being there early.  Should really try it out at night.  The problem it has – is that its closest rival is Hooters – which is about 30 seconds away and has girls in there who have big Hooters.  Which was our next stop…

I can’t think of going to Hooters on 15 for any other reason than to look at Hooters?  There is no view outside, there is no atmosphere and the drinks and food are over-priced.   There was one thing however that caught our eye.  The Hooters beer cooler/condom.  How great is that? They’ve probably been around for years but I’ve never seen them.   What an absolute bit of marketing genius. If I was the boss of Hooters, I’d have the creator of that in my office and fire him for not coming up with that idea long ago.   The only thing wrong is they’re 500bht to purchase.   Really?  How long before the Sukhumvit lags will be knocking them out for 200bht, having cost them only 30bht to make?

They're not real.
They’re not real.

From Hooters we headed to Soi 22 – The Queens Park Plaza.  Noting on the way where Washington Square used to be and how grotty it was.  We became nostalgic for grotty.

We did plan to stop in at the Fox and Hound, Shag bar 2 and Top Secret, but they were all closed.  Slim pickings before 2pm these days.

The QPP cut a pretty sorry sight.  There was one bar that looked to have some business, but instead of joining them – we went to the bar nearby who had no customers – to even things up a bit.  We’re good people like that!

Can’t remember the name.  Monkey Bar I think?  The had a little wooden table and chairs road-side which was a pretty good place to hang out for 30-45 mins and chew the fat over some cold ones.

There wasn’t really much else happening in the QPP.  I’ve never really seen it busy during popular times, let alone a period when people are still mourning.  – yes… still.

Not a long walk back to Suk, but stopping off at Too Easy Bar 1st.    This bar is starting to become our fave in that area.  The gang there are really pleasant and accommodating.   The only grip I had was the two miserable customers sitting in the corner.     I rang the bell for the entire bar – which was just us, the staff – and their 2 other customers.  It’s nice to be nice right?

The unwritten rule is.. when someone rings the bell and buys you a drink.. you say ‘cheers’.  I wasn’t even looking for a ‘thanks’… just a nod of acknowledgement that lets me know they’ve received their drink that I’ve paid for.  This lets the punter know that the bar is not charging for drinks that they don’t serve.  Not that Too Easy Bar would do that.. but it’s just standard practice.

Cheap twats.

We stayed there for a good few hours.  In that time – a few other old Rats turned up.  Good to catch up with them. Nothing changes… they’re still living and loving it here.  Not sure I could say the same after being here aslong as them.

Nearing 8pm – we had to meet up with the Wives and Girlfriends.    The meeting point was Hooters in Soi 4.

Two of the Rats were having such a good time in Too Easy Bar that they said they’d catch us up.  This is universal code meaning ‘I’ve got a boner and am staying until it’s dealt with’.

Hooters was busy.  Our fave hangout area at the front was taken so we went inside to the long table  – which in all honesty wasn’t a bad spot.  Never sat there before.  Good view of the bar inside.  Plenty of atmosphere.  Liked it.

We ordered some food. Everyone caught up with each other’s girlfriends and we were all fed and watered.

Now that the pleasantries were out the way – we headed to the Plaza.   Actually,  that’s where we would have headed, had we not already made a pact in blood (well, maybe not blood) that we’d head to Patpong and check out what’s going on over there.  It’s been at least a few years since going there.

We’d heard from Spats that he was already there – so we’d meet him.

At first we just sat in the taxi going nowhere.. then we remembered that Jonas was not with us – to tell the taxi driver where we are going.  Silom please.

First stop was the Pink Panther.  Music and girls.  It was ‘ok’ – nothing special really.   One thing I do remember is very low or small seats.  Even for me, and I am the size that fits nicely on a toadstool.

Not long drinking and when Spats arrived.

Downed our drinks and headed into the night.   By this time, the booze was kicking in and we were all on the way to being a little merry.

Next up was the Black Pagoda.  I remembered this to be a popular bar the year or so that I last visited when DavetheRave was having a party.  I recall bumping into a Ghost of the past and Stickboybangkok with Stickkidbangkok.   I was hoping for a night half as good as that.

What can I say?  Well, the place was empty.  I am sure there were girls there, but I don’t recall seeing them.  It’s just a bar now I think.   Not a gogo/girlie bar.  It is surprisingly big though – with loads of seating out the back and a pool table.   Real nice venue – but not a lot going on.  One drink and out.

Not a too far stagger, we headed to the Strip.

We couldn’t help but notice that things were quiet.  VERY quiet.  Still, that meant we should get prompt service.

We took up seats at the back near the bar and ordered drinks.  I chatted with the Mamasan while the Rats did their thing.  Lots of letching ssd drinking followed.

The Strip has private booths – but during these ‘respectful’ times – the curtains are not to be drawn.  I guess you could still use the booth for that ‘Star-of-light’ experience, but that was not why we were there.

Time was pressing on and we were getting drunk.  Half the gang had deserted us and we were now a 3 man team.  Jonas was still with us in Spirit.  In fact, we had sent him the odd picture throughout the day, but nowhere near as many as we should have.

Rumor had it that everywhere would be closing around midnight, so we thought it best to head back to Sukhumvit.

I jumped out of the cab at Soi 11 and the remaining Rats continued on to meet their females rats.

I met up with Miss Tim at a 7/11 and we went back to the hotel and were in bed by midnight.  What a good little boy I was.

I didn’t realize how drunk I was – until I found myself throwing up around 3am.  I am now 41 years old, I shouldn’t still be doing this!

Saturday – and back to the land of the living.    Our driver was picking us up at 2pm so we headed to Take a Zeed at T21 for lunch with GM.   This is still our fave Thai place.  They must make a fortune.  It’s always full.  We must have passed half a dozen empty restaurants close by before we got to them.

I couldn’t justify staying another night for as the appeal has long since gone for me.  I can’t remember the last time I was home before midnight?  It’s great to catch up with the Rats of course – but with the internet messaging being so easy, it’s not like we don’t speak to each other a lot and need to meet up to catch up.

We were on the road at 2pm.  Time for a snooze.   Hua Hin was waiting and I was looking forward to some relaxing.



6 thoughts on “Another month… another night out with the Rats (no Jonas)”

  1. She was great entertainment, that’s for sure. And yeah, QPP scary in the harsh light of day. All home before midnight, how unusual.

    Is it just me or is Bangkok going down the gurgler quicker every time we venture out? It just doesn’t hold the allure it once did. All love affairs end, I guess.

    Been saying for a while, this is how the Thais will achieve their objective of ridding themselves of sexpats.

  2. Good write up G. I will try to make a contribution soon…it’s been a while…but…..(cliffhanger)

    Lomeo, Bkk is still great unless your life (and I don’t mean you mate) revolves around Nana, Cowboy and Patpong.
    I love a good bar but I just can’t stomach the so called sexpats sitting in Nana beer bars for hours staring at the street with a bored girl next to them playing on her mobile..
    RC and me It’s been 4 years for us….miracles happen no marriage and we still hate each other…lol
    Anyway hope to catch up if possible….(December)
    Rock on…

    1. My point is that all the really cool little hole in the wall bars are disappearing:

      Soi 33 now a wasteland when it once had a cool vibe
      Soi 22 never recovered after Washington Square disappeared
      Soi 11 a building site ; the cool little sub soi off 11 with Cheap Charlies and some good restaurants disappearing
      Soi 4 a building site
      Hemingways gone 🙁
      ‘The Tunnel’ between sois 5 and 7 gone

      Catch up? Sure! You’ll be buying as I checked my bank balance today 1900 baht 🙁 Gotta last me another week.

      Rock on!

  3. Nice report Graham. I assume you gave the Morning Night Bar a miss. What was the general vibe at the bars you visited given the current circumstances. Busy, quiet, restrictions still in place?

    1. Didn’t visit the Morning Night. Without Jonas – it’d feel like we were cheating on him.

      Bars were very quiet… but that was the other week. From what I hear, everything is now back to normal.

      Hua Hin is jam-packed at the moment. Never seen (or noticed?) it so busy.

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