Back from my travels

Just returned back from a few weeks in the UK with Miss Tim. A good time only to be tarnished by the dregs of society that are around us when we travel.

When I am flying on business, then I fly ‘in’ Business. When I am on my own dollar, I tend to fly economy and use my miles to upgrade. As I’ve recently flown a lot, I didn’t have enough miles to upgrade us. I could have paid the extra 150,000 bht to upgrade us, but that would pay for 3 months rent, so with my sensible head on I decided against it.

Bear in mind that I take more than 50 flights per year, so I know how to conduct myself at check-in, immigration, customs, the lounge and most of all – on the plane.

I can’t stand these imbeciles that go through the metal detectors more than twice, having forgotten to empty their pockets of phones, keys and coins.

I then get annoyed when wealthy old bastards in the lounge talk on their speaker phone to their ’tilac’ – talking pigeon English to a bargirl who is telling them they are staying in tonight eating noodles with their friends.

This, I now laugh at and move to the other end of the lounge so I don’t have to listen to the fool.

When at the departure gate – what I really get annoyed about is the selfish assholes who put their bag on a chair. These bags have been in the trunk of a car, sitting on the ground at a bus stop, been in the back of a wardrobe for months and yet when they get to an airport – are that important that important that they need to take up a seat that someone could be sitting on. Wankers.

I snapped this couple at the departure gate. Sprawled out on the seats which are reserved for certain passengers (elderly, people with kids etc). I’d have loved to have punched their fucking lights out.

Selfish assholes

On a plane – my experience in Business Class has always been good. It’s only when I sit at the back of the plane with what I can only call ‘scumbags’ it’s rarely been less than pleasurable.

This time – the person in front of Miss Tim reclined her seat before take off. I wanted to kick off with a torrent of abuse but Miss Tim insisted I didn’t. There was a guy with her – which meant he’d have to stick up for his botox-faced wench. Which would then lead to me hurling insults and probably an uppercut to the asshole. This would then end in tears.

When walking through the cabin to leave the plane – have you ever noticed what a mess it is? Are these people fucking animals? I pity the cabin crew. When they see the mess left behind, what kind of opinion to they form of economy travelers?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not being a snob. I travel in the economy section, but I behave like a human being. I don’t see the need to make a mess everywhere, drop food on the floor and leave empty bottles/cans under the seat. There is no need.

This time on the plane – an announcement came over the speaker telling people that smoking on board is a criminal offence and you can be prosecuted for. Which means they had detected a smoker.
– I have to ask myself why this prick thought he didn’t have to follow the rules?

When we landed, we were then told to stay in our seats while the Police boarded the plane and took someone away. This delayed us about 15 minutes. I hope the guy was given a severe beating and fine.

This was just the journey to the UK. I wasn’t going to let that spoil my vacation…..

The weather outside’s delightful……

Now in the UK with Miss Tim. Thought I’d pop over and see friends and family as I didn’t see them at Christmas.

I do like going to the UK. Love everything about it. Well.. nearly everything…..

I notice that every airport in the world I have visited – (and I average 60 flights per year) all the people working at Immigration are from the Country I am visiting.

All accept when I come into the UK. Can’t remember the last time I was greeted by a British National?

Why is this a concern?

Well, I don’t take too kindly to being asked what the purpose of my visit to the UK is – as I hold a UK passport and I was born here and am a UK citizen. Is he? Cheeky twat.

But also, the ‘ethnic’ chap who processed us – handed back Miss Tims new passport and said he only needed (to stamp) her old passport (which has her visa in) as it has 2 weeks left until it expires.

I pushed the new passport back over the counter and said he needs to stamp the new passport – as the old one will expire in a few weeks. Again – he said he doesn’t need the new passport.

This was when I asked if a passport needs to have a minimum of 6 months validity to enter into the UK.
– the penny then dropped and said ‘oh yeah, you are right. I need to stamp the new passport’!!


That aside – when we arrived in the UK – it was snowing! For the 1st time in her life, Miss Tim saw/touched the snow. She can also check the box of having a snowball chucked at her.

Loving the cold, dark weather.

Been out on the last with the gang and suffered hangovers most days.

Time is flying by and will soon be back to work.

The only thing I am missing in Thailand is my cats.

Carry on.

How hard can it be?

The weather in HH is pretty crap right now. This gives me a little time to sit on the internet and do a little research in my pursuit of happiness.

There are few things I need to be a happy little bunny in Hua Hin.

Nice house,  pool, not too far from the town center,  a car and a bike.  Simple.   I am sure I am not alone.  After all,  I’d have thought most if not all Farrangs living here would want the same. – House and transport.

So why do the Thai’s make it so bloody difficult to find either?

Lets start with the housing.  I have yet to find a house where the neighbours are not complete and utter selfish wankers.  They all seem to have dogs which are left outside all day – who like to bark.  Why do they bark?  Well, on all the estates I’ve lived on, there are gardeners and pool cleaners walking about all day – in and out of gardens at their leisure.  My current bunch of gardeners seem to spend more time in my garden than me.  Not sure what it is they are claiming to be doing, as whenever I see them, they are sitting in the shade and gazing into their phones.

So why have a dog?  I keep hearing its for security.  Now, there may have been a time whereby if a dog barked, it would raise alarm and people would investigate. But now?  No one cares.  It’s just another dog left alone in a garden barking at the pool cleaner.  In fact,  dressing up as a pool cleaner would be a good cover for burglar.  When the Thai’s get wind of that idea,  I’ll expect to see a news report on Stickboy of a pool cleaner getting caught for Burglary.. in a condo.

Getting back on point…..   How do you find a house?   The internet of course.  It is after all 2017.

Sounds easier than it is.  Not one of the Real Estate Agents (in HH) has a decent website.  At best, all you can do is search on a house or condo within a price range.  There are no filters, advace searches or boxes to check.  The photos are terrible and the content is shite.  The house I was living in has never been off the site – even though I had a 1 year lease.    Each time I inquired about a house advertised, I was told the house was rented out – but they conveniently had details on another house, which was completely different to the type of houses I was interested in.  I don’t get it.  Miss Tim said the Agents like to keep as much content on the site as possible – as it makes them look good.   I tried explaining that any normal person with half a brain doesn’t think like that.  After being disappointed a few times, I then leave that site and go somewhere else.   When will Thai’s realize that if they advertise houses that they actually have available – then people might actually do business with them.

Pisses me right off.   These people really are dumb.  Annoyingly,  a lot of these Agents have a Farrang in the Leadership/Management team.   Surely they could raise the point of saying “lets put a status on the houses we have advertised as ‘available’ or ‘unavailable’  – so that people don’t waste theirs and our time”?

So instead of what would be a simple and easy process is made into a painful long one.  I have bought many properties in the UK.  Found in the internet after a simple search and then then bought.  Easy.

Instead,  I have to enter into many conversations with the Agents – give them my requirements – and they’ll then come up with a bunch of properties that are completely different to what I want.

I now let Miss Tim do it.  As I will at some point call them all a bunch off fucking clowns who have no idea what they’re doing.

Now, Miss Tim and I have to get on a bike and ride around Hua Hin, looking at new housing estates, peeking over walls and through gates to see where the houses are that we like – and then ask security if any are available.   We also get to see if there are any bloody dogs around as we peek over fences.  Good job we’re in our Pool Cleaning uniform.

Our house hunt continues.   We’ve a few months to go.

So if anyone knows of a Pool Villa,  3 bed for upto 60k per month – please let me know.  No dogs nearby though.

Next up is transportation.    Once I have a house, I need to get to and from it.  Easy right?  Wrong.

I don’t want to go traipsing round all the bloody show-rooms, asking for a price – and then spending the next half hour of them telling you of all the different deals on offer.  I like to go to their website and compare models and prices.     Why is it none of the dealers have prices displayed on their windows?

This is for bikes and cars.   Again, back in Farangland, I have bought many, many cars and bikes from dealers – using only the internet.

It’s easy.   Go to the website,  enter in the search criteria and bam.. the results are displayed.  Click on a few buttons and it’s done.

I really can’t believe the Thai’s here do not have the technology to do this.  They have.  What they don’t have – is the brains and know-how about implementing such a new concept.

I have searched for Bike/Car websites.   Looking for a car and a bike.    Nothing is easy.

Picked up a new bike the other day – which was purchased only because we happened to ride past it the other week and it caught my eye.  After searching the internet for their website to get details (and failing), Miss Tim went into the shop to find out all about it.  – then bought it.

So my point it?

Spend a bit of money in developing a website.  It doesn’t have to be fancy – just give pertinent information on the products you are wanting to sell.  It’s not rocket science.

Half the bloody country is full of ‘IT’ experts – surely there is one out there who can come up with a plan?  They could even wave their fee – for a commission on each sale done through the website?

There are many, many opportunities.

Until then,  I’ll just keep bitching and moaning about riding round the streets all day looking for a bloody house with no dogs or termites.

Kicking off 2017…

What a great New Years Eve…..

New Years Eve celebrations started on the 30th for us. I landed at 7am… Lomeo & Juliet were are the airport to meet me – and we all headed off to Hua Hin

A few beers by the pool in the afternoon before heading into town for a skinful of more booze.

Hua Hin is pretty busy – which I guess is to be expected this time of year. But the atmosphere was buzzing –as were we.

The usual bars of Hua Hin were visited – along with a new one. The Salsa bar. Miss Tim and I visited this place last time – on my last night here. It was pretty good.

Salsa is owned by the Italian Restaurant a few doors away. The food is great, but we were just wanting Cocktails. The cool thing about this bar is…. The Manager (Mario) is a great host who makes an effort to welcome everyone in the venue. He then encourages as many people as possible to get up on the dance floor and teaches them all a few dance-moves. Makes for a great atmosphere.

Several other bars in the ‘grid’ were visited and by 1am we were ready to head back home. It had been 6 hours of binge drinking and we were all worse for wear. Some more than others. I think I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

New Years Eve I woke with a bit of a hangover. I don’t think I was alone.

A bit of time wasting by the pool…. A little nap… a cheeky beer and it was time to fire up the bbq. I say fire it up. It was just a case of supplying a spark to the gas.

Lomeo did a sterling job of cooking half a cow. Perfection. We were all stuffed. Time to take another nap.

Courtesy of Chef Lomeo
Courtesy of Chef Lomeo

At 6pm we caught the shuttlebus into town. The place was (as expected) heaving. There was no plan – other than to just take it as it comes.

We hit the usual haunts – El Murphys being one of them. It was full so we took a seat outside.

Opposite El Murphys is a French Restaurant. Couldn’t help but notice the menu advertising ‘Miced Salad’. That’s one way to deal with the rodent problem I guess?

A pal of mine from work was over in Hua Hin so we arranged to meet up in Le Bar. No mice on the menu here. They did however have a big spread of all sorts of free food.

Le Bar is a wine bar. It’s actually quite a nice bar. Friendly staff. Good company and good drinking! Not evening at all. My pals headed back to their villa around 11 – so we decided to head off to the Salsa bar.

All the Staff get up and dance.. which was cool

There were a couple of tables left so we grabbed one. There was a real good buzz to the place. I am not going to go into it now, as I feel it deserves it’s own post later.

Singing, dancing, drinking, laughing… all the ingredients for a good night.

Hua Hin was busy – which was good to see.  I’ve never seen it so busy.  I know it’s the holiday season, but hopefully the momentum will continue.

As expected, there we no taxi’s/tuk tuks at the end of the night. There were however the usual ‘private’ taxi’s – crawling by the kerbside, offering their services through their window. Slapping another 100bht on the regular price. Which is less than 3 quid, so I am not going to complain.

By 01:30 we were all back to the pad.. snoring.. ready for the mornings hangover which was sure to pay us a visit in the morning.