Home sweet home.

It’s been a week since I arrived at the new crib.  Smaller than the last – but less expensive too.  This complex has a massive pool and gym.  It also has a security gate which is manned properly instead one old boy who just eats all the time.

I am hoping this will be my last house move – until I make the final move back to the UK.  I have been thinking about the move back for some time now.

The new house isn’t bad.   Miss Tim did well to move all our shit.    All that’s left it to get the 40k deposit back from the old Landlord.  Not an easy task.   It should be as simple as the Agent doing a survey of the house, seeing if there is any damage – and deducting the cost of repair from the deposit.

As we are not scumbags, there is no damage.  Apart from a couple of holes drilled in the wall for the TV – it’s pretty much how it was when we moved in.

Of course, I expect to hear tales of how doors were hanging off hinges, leather sofas ripped, mattresses soiled and taps missing.    None of that will be true.

Take off some money for a cleaning company to give a good clean and a handyman to touch-up a few holes and repaint – and I think 5,000 would be a fair number.

By the time someone is ready to rent it again, it would need another thorough clean anyway.   The Landlord has 4 of these houses in a row – and only one tenant. I expect it will be gathering dust for a while.

In a ‘normal’ Country, the Letting Agent would hold onto the deposit.  Part of their responsibility would be to manage these things.   Not here.  Not Dubai either.  It’s pretty much upto the Landlord if they decide to return the deposit or not.

The Letting Agents don’t seem to have any influence or offer much support.

However, if this Landlord doesn’t return the best part of my deposit, I may just have to use the spare key that I have.

I may just have to remove the TV.   I may just have to remove the fridge too.  Or I may just have to accidentally pour a tin of black paint into the pool along with a bottle of Fairy Liquid.

Who knows?

The Agent told Miss Tim that we are to wait until the end of the month to receive word on our deposit.











Back in Thailand….

Dubai was a disaster.  When I last wrote – my plan was to spend the rest of the day/night crying into my pillow.   As it turns out… I’d be crying the next day.  In pain.  On the plane.

Sitting in my hotel room, my pal called and said there is a Brunch happening at McGettigans Irish bar.  Wahoo!   So off I went.

McGettigans during Ramadan must be the worst Brunch out there.  The food was absolute crap with less selection than the Sizzlers salad bar.   Still, we were not there for the food.   We had several hours of boozing ahead.  It had been after all, a month since my last drink.

I’d be lying if I said I could recall all the events of that evening/night.   Being off the grogg for a month had an effect as I got drunk.  Badly.   I have no recollection of where I ended up – except at some point during the night I did manage to find my way back to my hotel room.

The hotel room which I received a phone call at 6am, telling me my Emirates Chauffeur was downstairs waiting for me!  Thank goodness I booked one, as I’d have been asleep until house-keeping hoofed me out.

Luckily I had packed the previous day.  What else did I have to do?   When the phone woke me – I didn’t have a clue where I was.  I was fully dressed.  My head was pounding.   I ran to the toilet to throw up – which was already full from last nights/this mornings vomit.  It wasn’t nice.

No time for a shower.  Quick splash, clean the toothy-pegs,  throw on some Brut and get the hell out of there.

The drive to the airport was bad.  I wanted to puke.  The sun was burning my eyes.  My pockets were completely empty of all cash.  I have no idea why, or how I got home.  I can only assume I tipped my cab driver a few hundred bucks?

At the airport – the poor bastard held out his hand, wanting a tip for driving me to the airport.  Normally I would, but I had no cash on me.  Then again, the ride is factored into the price of a Business Class ticket – and it’s not like he has a bad job, driving around in a BMW all day.  Sod him.

Before I could check in – I had to make a b-line for the toilets.  Once again, I had to throw up.  I sat there, in a mess, on the floor, wondering how I could possibly postpone the flight and find somewhere to sleep it off.

I pulled myself together, stuck my face under the tap and tried to clean off  puke-splash from my shirt.

I found a corner in the lounge and guzzled 3 bottles of cold water.  Never more than 1 minute from the toilets.

On the plane, the lovely Cabin Crew lady saw that I looked like a sack of shit.  She asked if I was o.k – to which I responded with “brunch”….   she knew.   All Emirates girls (and boys) know about the Dubai Brunches.  She took pity on me and brought me some pills and cold water.  What an Angel.

As soon as we were in the air, the seat was reclined, the mattress was laid out and I fell asleep, crying into my pillow.

I slept pretty much the whole flight.   Bangkok airport was pretty quiet and I was in the next Emirates car within 45 mins of touch-down.

Straight to soi 4……

I have found a few decent hotels which I like now… but that didn’t stop me being an idiot and trying something new.   This time I booked a Suite at SM Grande.   It was 3000 per night which I thought sounded reasonable.

I didn’t have any small cash on me.. just airport ATM fresh 1000’s.  I usually tip the Emirates driver a few hundred, but as I had nothing small, and the car ride is all included in the price of the ticket – sod him.  He’s Thai, driving around in a Benz all day.  Life aint that bad for him.

SM Grande – What a shit-hole!  I can only assume the current owners are just trying to get as much money out of the place – and are not reinvesting a penny.  It’s old.  The furniture is old and knackered.  The aircon in the bedroom pumped out hot air, the wifi didn’t work, there was hair in the bath and the 28” TV was the same size as a washing machine.

Don’t be tempted by Suites.

The weirdo neighbor next door for some bizarre reason would leave his hotel room door open all day while he sat in there with some skank listening to crap music.   Each time I left my room – I closed his door.   Looking back, I should have walked in and called him a fucking asshole.  Next time.

I arrived late Saturday night and just couldn’t be bothered to go anywhere.  The lounge was cold so I just kicked back with some food and watched the Washing Machine.

Sunday was a meet-up with PRP.  He has been traveling Oz for the last 3 months, so I went to meet him at No Idea for lunch.  No one word about Oz was spoken. Just tales of what he’s been upto since he’s been back.    Twins, Cowboy, Soi 33 etc….

It wasn’t long before we were in full drinking mode.   Too Easy Bar, Top Secret, Foxy’s and various others.

It had been a month.  Can’t say I was overwhelmed to be back.  If anything, it was a little disappointing.  Yeah, it was good to catch up with the lads, but the old skanks in the bars just don’t really get me excited anymore.

By midnight, everyone feeling drunk, I was glad when it was decided we’d call it a night.

I was happy that it was my last night in the craphole that is SM Grande and the next day I would be heading home to Hua Hin.

Miss Tim had moved us into our new home.  Hopefully all my shit made its way to the new house – and I won’t be seeing Motor-cy taxi drivers wearing my sneakers over the next few months.

A Cry from Dubai

Another 28 days in the bag. Office keys handed over to my back-to-back (the guy who shares my job with me) and off I go.

But go where?

As always, the first drink I have after 28 days of clean living is a glass of Champagne on the plane leaving work. Usually I like to stop over in Dubai for a few days to catch up with some pals and visit some places that I took a shine to when I was living here. Right now, ‘here’ is currently in the Four Points Hotel on Sheik Zayed Road. The rooftop bar is a great chill-out place at night with a fantastic view of the Dubai Skyline. I stayed in the hotel next door for over a month when I first moved here in 2015. I know the area. I feel at ease here.

Fridays are Brunch days – all the booze/food you can sling down your neck for what (in Dubai) is a reasonable price. Everyone gets wasted and has a great time.

So it’s safe to say – I look forward to my time here.

Thing is… it’s now day 2 of Ramadan. Doh. When booking my flights/hotels – I completely forgot about the Holy month. It’s not something I understand if I am honest, but each to their own.

No brunch, no live music.. and for me… not much fun. Instead, I have resigned myself to having a few days relaxing around the hotel… take a little walk maybe? More likely I will spend the next few days crying into my pillow.

This is my first stay at the Four Points. So far I am not impressed. I arrived last night – having booked my non-smoking room with a city view. At check-in, I was asked if I wanted smoking or non-smoking. After that I was asked if I wanted the City view or the Barron Land view. Odd. What was the point in booking all this online?

The view at 7am. Bored with that now.

It was 8 pm so I thought I’d see what the room service has to offer. After searching through the 10 leaflets of promotions, recommendations and club membership offers, I called down to room service and asked where the menu is. “It’s right next to the phone Sir” – the Filipino girl said. Really? You think I would not have seen that as I picked the phone up?

After convincing her there was no menu in the room, she said she’d have one sent up. Half an hour later it arrived. Food ordered – which was another half an hour.

Another problem with this hotel room is there is no room to put the dinner tray. The desk is fill up with an over-sized lamp, internet cable (who uses them?) and a box fill of leaflets.

Again, not impressed.

Now, this is a four-star hotel. For the price of this small hotel room – I could (and often do) get a very nice suite in Bangkok.

One of the things I like in nice hotels is the toiletries. I don’t like having to cart a toiletries bag when I travel – as I mainly have carry-on luggage and the airports that I travel through confiscate most liquids – no matter what the size. So the little toiletries in the hotel bathrooms are very useful to me.

This one however – is not. No toothbrush (good job I never travel without one) and no shaving kit. Instead, there is a sanitary pad, shower cap and make-up remover sponge thing? The three items that I have never needed. Well, maybe the makeup remover. Ever shaved your head using shower get mixed with shampoo? No great. Not great at all.

So far it’s not going well. I’ve called round the lads to see if there is any action to be found. Luckily my pal has a place on the Palm – overlooking a bunch of Yachts. If nothing else, I guess a few drinks looking at how the other half live will do.

Tomorrow I am heading to Bangkok. I have 2 nights there. I have a suite booked – so am looking forward to the complimentary shaving kit.