Hitting the streets of soi 4…. It was drizzling with rain. Soi 4 cut a pretty miserable sight.
First up was Hooters. Yes it’s over-priced and the food, well, if you like chicken wings everything deep fried – then you’ll like it.
The main reason I go is because it’s a prime stop to sit and watch the going on of soi 4. There are other bars across the road – but their views are ruined by the street vendors.
Ever wonder how fresh the frying oil is on those street carts? My guess is not very. I know this as I once found out that old staff at the Mango used to sell our ‘old’ oil to the street food sellers. And probably the new oil too. And the cutlery. And anything else that wasn’t nailed down and could fit in their handbags.
But anyway, as it had been raining and the seating area was a little wet – everyone was sitting inside in the dry. I grabbed a roadside view seat and waiting for the service girls to come over and wipe down the table/bar – which they did minutes after I arrived. Perfect.
Straight onto the overpriced Grey Goose and Coke. GamblinMan arrived shortly after me and we had a catch up in-between getting hassled by sun-glass / iPhone / Viagra sellers.
Tip – if you go to Hooters around 6pm when the evening shift arrives – prepare to have to wait around 15 mins to get served. For some reason the new shift has to assemble along the bar whilst a Hooter girl in black sounds off to them.. they all then break out into a dance.
So, while the last shift is hitting the streets having fended off advances from customers, the new shift is dancing around like cheerleaders – the customers are left waving hands in the air trying to get served. At one point there were 3 of us waving our hands in the air. If we had Hooters T-Shirts, I am sure we could have been mistaken as staff.
After a paying for 2 hours for the price of 3 hours – we headed over to the newly fitted out Big Dogs.
Great re-fit! Really good. Excellent use of space. Good layout. The only gripe would be the ugly dogs still serving. Maybe it’s just my personal taste – but I am sure I am not the only person who doesn’t like being surrounded by old fat women in tight dresses?
The bar is now at the end wall – where the toilets used to be. I do not envy the builders jobs when demolishing the crappers. That place was horrible. The stench of cheap bleach was not match for the nasties that went on in there.
So where do you go to the toilet? Well, under the Escalators – there are public toilets. Ish. Ish? Well, if you need the toilets and are in Big Dogs, they will give you a key-card which you are to present at the toilets (troll) to gain entry. I don’t understand why? Surely the toilets should be available to everyone? Would the Nana Plaza not encourage everyone and anyone to use the toilets rather than just pee up the wall in the stairwell? It doesn’t make sense to me.
What also doesn’t make sense is the ‘Security’ at Nana. Just what in the fuck is that all about? What is the point of the ‘show’ of checking peoples bags coming into the Plaza? Are we to believe there is actually security protocols in place? I ask this because I was in Big Dogs which I entered from Sukhumvit Road… and I exited Big Dogs inside Nana – using the side entrance/exit. Thus – bypassing the ‘security’ check-point. Really? What is the point?
We ordered a drink and the serving girl who knew GM was also offered one. She then prompted her fat ugly mate to come join us at the table and also hinted at a drink. As soon as I saw her move into the position of attempting to give me a bar-back-massage I stopped her in her tracks. ‘Don’t touch me’. The back Massage does nothing for me. Ugly fat cows touching me does even less. Now, if it were Kate Beckinsale – then bring it on. But sadly it wasn’t.
I asked for a Vodka & Coke which arrived in a tiny little lady drink size tumbler. This is one of my pet hates. It’s was so small that the drink was still pretty transparent as there was so little coke in it. After 2 swigs, it’s gone and tastes foul. I told them for my next drink, I would like it in a tall glass. Of course, the one benefit of drinking quick is that the trogs were not in a position to ask for another as their glasses were still full.
Leaving Big Dogs, and the bar, we thought we’d try the Beer Bars in Nana. I say beer bars, but it’s now just one big bar. Only thing was, there was no seating available. There was outside seating opposite at Pretty Lady (or whatever name they are calling themselves this week). Our intention was to watch people coming in and out of the Plaza. The usual tourists with their farang girlfriends appeared. Walked past with smiles on their faces and then walked back with only the guy smiling and the girl with a face like a smacked arse.
Sitting directly opposite us were a couple of Chinese lads with a bar girl in-between them. She was playing pocket billiards with them… having a good old feel of their nether regions. I think she was trying to figure out who was the smallest?
Time to hit a gogo. The closest one being Lollipop. Not that we are lazy. In we went and what an eye-opener. Have you been? EVERY girl on stage had their phone either tucked in her bra-strap or down their shit-catchers. And they were not small iPhone 5’s either. These were all iPhone pluses and Samsung note thingys. They looked absolutely ridiculous. What on earth is the Manager/Owner playing at, letting them do that? I can only assume they are all volunteer fire-fighters or paramedics on call?
Next up was Diamonds. Owned by old friends, we thought we’d pop into say hello. Much better line up than before – loads of girls. The thing that struck me though is – they have a bunch of girls outside which entice you in. They are even happy for you to stick your head through the curtain and check it all out before committing. But once you are inside, they have the fattest, ugliest trog in Nana come over and take your order and ‘try’ to chat you up to get a drink. Sorry… but this is just an incredible turn-off. At least have one of the human girls keep the customer company while the trog takes the order. Otherwise, your 1st 30 seconds in the bar is spent with a hound and that’s all you are going to remember.
As all I can remember is the fatty serving me… I’ll move onto the next bar.
Bill Board. Heaving as always. I bumped into one of the old Pretty Lady girls who we used to have attending at the Mango Parties. I ended up chatting/drinking with her and didn’t really notice any of the 100’s of scantily clad women dancing around the place. It was that busy that we were asked to stand at tables already occupied by other people. Wasn’t really a problem though. It’s rare to find people in bad moods in good gogo-bars.
We were several drinks in by now. So headed to the gogo upstairs. Butterfly’s? The one with (or used to have) cages? I might be wrong?
Great line up – I think. We were having fun until some (sorry Kevin) American woman (a little on the big side) thought she was hot shit…walking around the place with her glass of wine – ogling at the girls. Why is it all Lesbos think all other girls are attracted to them? Anyway, this one was exceptional, as she has a wad of 20’s which she was screwing up and chucking them on the dance floor. Sorry, but I just think that is plain rude and arrogant. She could have swapped the money for pingpong balls… and was offered that chance more than once.. but oh no, she preferred to screw up the money and chuck it. Horrible… horrible creature.
We got a little tired of each service girl asking for a drink for her and her friend. And her Mamasan , landlord, neighbor, doctor, Auntie, Sister, Cousin, worst enemy, meth dealer and financial advisor so we paid the extortionate bill and left.
It was late so we headed back towards Citrus Suites where I was staying – and picking up GM’s GF & Miss Tim who were somewhere in Soi 4.
Passing Melody UK (or whatever it’s called this week) we bumped into Robin – an old Mango customer. We had a catch up and another drink. My words were now slurred so it was time I headed to my pit.
After navigating through the Chinese tourists at the hotel lobby I made it to my bed.
Soi 4 this time was ‘o.k’. But I was not left with the feeling of wanting to go back any time soon.