Holiday over….back to work…

Hua Hin is currently packed.  I’ve never seen so many Scandos.  They are now outnumbering the Chinese.

The other night we avoided the town and headed to some bars which are off the beaten track – near Aums Restaurant.  (Aum used to work at the Mango with her pal Yo)

The little bars we  visted all seemed to be a shop unit with some chairs, tables, a bar and a fridge.   Sorry – but for me, they just don’t have the bar ‘feel’.  More like hanging out in someones garage.   All owned by an old expat and his young(ish) Thai wife – ‘living the dream’.

The customers I met were all of a similar type.  I got the feeling they were waiting on new faces to enter the bar – so they could tell their stories thinking I’d be impressed – thus giving them them the confirmation they were looking for, to convince themselves they are living the dream also.

Sorry,  but I am not one to play Top Trumps with.

The 1st couple I met were quick to tell me they had been living here a few years now.  They spend most of their time hanging out around the little bars on the outskirts of town (cheaper) and tell me how much they like the people and the food etc.

That’s when I tell them I have been here 15 years and am sick of all this shit.  The food isn’t that good, the Thai’s hate us and everything here is shit.

I do like to cheer people up!

One of my favorite example scenarios is asking them how many times they have seen an Ambulance – stuck in traffic?  No one giving a rats about the Ambulance with it’s lights on and going nowhere because no one lets them through.  Now imagine they are in the back of it suffering a heart attack.  Or worse – it’s on it’s way to you having suffered a heart attack.

Tourists only see the all the nice things Thailand has to offer.  Short-term expats ignore all the problems that come with living in Thailand and the long-term expats try and convince everyone they have adapted to Thai life and they embrace it.  They may even wear a little Buddha around their necks to convince you.

Let’s be honest – if you live here for more than 10 years and you accept the Thai way of life – then you’re an idiot.  You have sub-standards and hang around in crappy bars waiting for them to bring out the balloons so you can get a free feeding of deep fried shite.   Most probably the bar is called ‘Lek Bar’.

These are the people I am seeing a lot of.

One of the bar owners was trying to convince me that he was living the dream – running a bar – when in actual fact, all he had done was financed his wife’s little business and sits at a table each night drinking beer with other old cronies.

Trying to impress – the guy boasts how he came to Thailand a few years ago  to open a bar in his mid-60’s.    Yes pal, been there, done that.  Did that in Bangkok when I was 30.  What else you got?

So it’s safe to say I don’t mix well with others.    When you are a Tourist, you like mixing with residents – to gain a little of their knowledge.  I personally prefer to mix with tourists who have not yet realised that Thailand isn’t the best place on the planet and sure as shit isn’t the Land of Smiles they think it is.

Why am I being so grumpy today?  Well, apart from it pissing down with rain, last night we were at a restaurant where once again, as soon as I had put my knife and fork down, they tried to take away my plate – still with food on it.  It didn’t matter that Miss Tim was still half-way through her food.

The previous night our Appetisers arrived 30 minutes AFTER our main course?!  And just a (fake) smile and an apology.

On the way home – I had to stop on the main road as a sea of traffic was crossing.  It was my right of way and there was no traffic behind me.  The vehicles didn’t think to let the person who has right of way pass – as there was nothing behind me anyway, so they’d not have been slowed down.

And then there was the roundabout which people had stopped on to let traffic enter.  I found myself shouting at these idiots to keep moving and stop being fucking idiots.  Only to get a slap from Miss Tim for being so angry.   Does she not realise it’s twats like these who don’t know how to drive that cause accidents.   And as we know, the Ambulance will not be able to get to the scene of that accident as no drivers give way to them.

Miss Tim has a friend who saved up a bit of cash.  Not a lot… about 50k (bht).   As this is a good chunk of change to a Thai – they’d get the urge too gamble or drink it.  So she did what she thought was right and put a down payment on a car – with monthly payments for the rest of her life.

All well and good, but in the first 2 weeks of ownership she has crashed it twice.  Only minor – but still crashes.  Front a rear are dented and the car she hit was paid off with 10k.  The person she crashed into preferring to keep the money and the dents.

Why am I talking about this?  Well, her pal can’t drive.  She has never driven before.  She has no licence.  She has insurance – but I would question the validity of that – seeing as she can’t drive.   According to her, if you crash, you just give your friends name as the driver and everything is fine.   And this is how Thai’s think.

So if she runs some poor bastard (like me) over – with my spine wrapped around the rear axle, I am sure everything will be fine.  She’ll just phone a friend and her insurance will pay for my new wheelchair.

I am sure that insurance companies here could get out of 99% of their claims if they were to investigate.  Shit, in the UK, I pay 1000’s a year on vehicles which are kept in storage, have to have CCTV, fixed mileage, alarmed, tracked and big heavy chains securing them.  And have to prove all of this before they would even entertain paying out if one were stolen or exploded.

Here in Thailand.. you can walk into a showroom, put a 1000 bucks down on a new car and drive it off.  No license, no problem!

Of course, if you’re a Tourist, you’d never think about it.  If you’re a short-term expat, you’d pretend it doesn’t happen that often.  If you’re a long-term expat, you are probably paying the money for your girl to go and do the same.

I was supposed to be heading off to Pattaya this week – but it’s going to be pissing down until next week.  Which means the Ferry won’t be operating.  Of course, they’ll still take your money – but wont set sail.

No,  I’ll just sit here… and wish I was back at work with most other people.  Thailand right now, in the rain, people are assholes….  it’s shit.

Should have stayed a tourist.





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