Typical bloody Thai…

Last night I went to Bangkok to watch Jim Jefferies stand up show. He is one of the few comedians I like these days.

I left Hua Hin around 1pm – straight to soi 4 to wait for some pals.

I had an hour to kill so went to HOOTERS – hoping I would see one of the shoe-shine people as I wanted my trainers cleaned. This is the 3rd time I have been to soi 4 now and not seen the shoe-shine people. Plenty of flowers, fake iPhones and sunglasses – but no shoe-shines. What’s the world coming to?

While in HOOTERS I had a bit of chicken which what absolute shite. They also missed off one of my orders. The service in there is really crap. The food is horrid and the drinks are way over-priced. The only reason I go in there is because of the location. Not anymore. You’d have to pay me to go in there now. Utter shite.

Off we went to Big Dogs. It’s so much better now they’ve renovated. I had a vodka and as per usual, had it served in a pathetic lady-drink tumbler. After 30 seconds it was gone – so ordered another but asked for a tall glass. When the fat ugly trog delivered the drink, it was Bacardi and coke. Even though the previous drink on the bill showed Vodka, for some reason the thick cow gave me Bacardi.

I told her I wanted Vodka. She started gobbing off saying she’d go get me a new drink but could she have the Bacardi?!! So she gets my drink wrong and then thinks I should pay for it and give it to her as some kind of reward? I told her to ram it – but one of the lads just said if you drink that – make sure you drink it on another table and stay away from us. I had to find my happy place, as I was getting mad.

Off to Siam Square to see the show. It was pretty good. He is funny. As with all Comedians, there are Hecklers. For some reason Hecklers thing they’re funny but rarely get a laugh and just embarrass themselves.

There was one girl who shouted something out at Jim – so he engaged is a bit of dialog. He asked why she wasn’t at work shooting ping-pong balls out of her box – to which she replied ‘its my night off’.

This did managed to raise a laugh… so Jim went further.. ‘What is it you do for a living’. Fair enough question. She replied ‘pay me and I will tell you’. “PAY ME”? Bloody PAY ME? I actually felt embarrassed. A theater full of expats and this Thai basically just confirmed the stereo-type of all Thai girls. ‘Pay me and I will tell you’? What on earth was she thinking?

By 10pm it was over – and back to Nana for a few drinks before going home to HH.

Forget Sickmans reports from afar that the bars are empty – the place was heaving. Couldn’t be arsed with walking all down the soi looking for a table so ducked into Melody UK (now called Golden Bar)

There was a few tables available, probably because all the staff were absolute monsters. Some were playing pool with various punters. Each time a girl potted a ball, they’d all scream. That was enough to get us to pay up and leave.

The lads went onto Soi 31 area. I called my driver and asked him to meet me 2 hours earlier than arranged. I had my fill of Bangkok/Soi 4 / Thai girls.

Whilst waiting at the entrance of Nana Carpark for my driver, I found myself surrounded my middle-eastern wankers. A group of about 6 sweaty, smelly bearded assholes. They were generally making a nuisance of themselves, not moving out the way when people were trying to walk past. They were not trying to do a ‘deal’ with some girls in Nana. It was obvious they were not making the best pitch to the girls as they kept walking away – leaving these scumbags getting more annoyed.

If I had Jonas with me – I’d have gladly picked a fight with all of them. As I was on my own and didn’t want to get anymore dirt (blood) on my shoes I just got in the car and left my woes behind.

Screw this place.

I have 2 large suitcases packed…heading to the UK soon.

2 thoughts on “Typical bloody Thai…”

  1. Jim Jeffries was a quality venomous comedian “back in the day” who only wanted to make people laugh while they felt awful for doing it, nothing was taboo his act was dark, and painful to watch and pressed peoples buttons like only a british convict ever could.

    These days however he lives in Malibu in a beach front mansion and has the big synidicates like NBC and HBO licking his twanger, and since he got that cunting dreadful sit com and then the following AIDS inducing chat show, he is now completely sterile, a lobotomised, safe, snuggly comfy womfy “Hey what is the deal with airline food” luvvy and his fans truly hate him for it. No one could say they wouldnt do the same if someone drove a lorry filled with gold up to your house, but Jims whole act was to get under peoples skin and make you chuckle and make you think, those days are long gone, Gunta would be ashamed 🙂 up Gunta UP 🙂

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