Up in the air again..

I am on my travels again.  Heading to the UK via Dubai and Amsterdam.    I HATE traveling.    I hate airports and I hate the people who travel around me.

When I arrived at Swampy last night, I thought I had walked into a Surgeons convention.  99% of people were wearing face masks – which is great, as I don’t have to.  They are keeping their germs to themselves.

What on earth is it with these people? Do they not have an immune system?  Do they any idea of what the odds are of catching the virus – let alone dying from it?  I really can’t stand these people. 

I am sure the Chinese government could have stopped this (and all other) viruses from spreading in China by simply telling people that gobbing everywhere – really is a dirty fucking habit.   Whilst they’re at it, the Middle East could tell their people that it’s also fucking revolting to remove your sandals at every opportunity and put your dirty, smelly, sweaty fucking feet on chairs, tables…     Seriously.. what the fuck is wrong with people?

And if the Chinese ever do accept that spitting everywhere is fucking disgusting – maybe we could also teach them to talk instead of shout?   And that you don’t need the loud-speaker for calls made in public areas.

As a frequent traveller.. there is certain etiquette that is expected of folk.  

  • Do not queue jump.  Ever.
  • Fill out your immigration card BEFORE you get to immigration
  • Empty your pockets BEFORE going through the X-Ray machines
  • Escalators – Stand on the right.. walk on the left. 
  • Travelators – you are allowed to walk.  You’ve spent god knows how many hours sitting on your lazy fucking arses – and as soon as you see a traveling floor – you stand still?
  • When disembarking the plane – let the people  in front of you – out.
  • Coach / Train / Plane – DO NOT watch your shitty videos on loud-speaker. Ever.
  • Window seat?  Night flight?  LEAVE THE WINDOW BLIND DOWN.
  • Do not go into the plane toilets wearing only socks on your feet. Or even bare feet – you revolting fucking pig.
  • Do not recline your seat until the plane is up in the air.
  • If you want to get out of your seat – for the toilet or whatever – DO NOT climb over me.  I will happily get up and let you out – you fucking rude twats.
  • Stay in your seat until the plane has at least lowered it’s speed to under 150mph when landing.
  • When getting your luggage – see that line? Stand behind it.. that way everyone else can get to their bags also.
  • Airport lounge?  Old man on his way home after visiting his young bar girl.. DO NOT FACETIME her, speaking pigeon English at the top of your voice and call her Tilac.  Wanker.

There are so many of these ‘rules’ which I can honestly say that I adhere to.  So do my colleagues and friends.   But Chinese Tourists?  The Middle Eastern tourists?   Fuck no.

Traveling for me has now reached such unpleasant levels that I really want to kick off and punch people in the face.  Or face-mask.

I am now watching the news with a different interest than others.  I hope Chinese Government decides to stop all Chinese leaving China.  Ever.

Currently I am sitting in Schiphol airport.   It’s rather pleasant.   This has to be one of my favorite airports in the world.   Dubai is horrid.   This morning I walked into the Emirates Lounge – only to see a ‘Middle Eastern’ man with his finger so far up his nostril I thought he was tickling his eyeballs.  Revolting arseholes everywhere.

I am in the UK for 2 weeks – and already I am dreading the journey back to Thailand.

Apart from that.. all is good!

5 thoughts on “Up in the air again..”

  1. I travel quite a bit and I too recognize quite a few of the things you pointed out. However, I don’t let it get to me to the point that I have to swear in nearly every sentence I use or where I can feel my blood pressure rising and heart rate increasing . I think you may benefit from some anger management before things get out of hand. For your own sake: stay home so you just have to deal with what you can’t handle.

    1. Selma – I swear out of frustration – as I expect people to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for people to show a little respect or consideration to others?

      I would love to stay at home and not travel.. but the last time I looked, I am not a billionaire – so until I am, I will have to keep traveling as I do!

      One thing I must clarify though, when I travel with Miss Tim, the traveling is quite fun – as we laugh at how people are so odd.

      Above all else though – my little posts are not to be taken too seriously. It’s just a bit of fun.

  2. Love the rules as I travel for work and agree with 100% of them but I’d like to add one at the bottom, sort of a deny any firewall rule… if you break any of the rules above, it should be legal anywhere in the world to punch you in the face repeatedly. 🙂

    Regarding the Chinese – perhaps that virus gets out of control and wipes the lot of them out 1918 Spanish Flu style.

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