It’s been a month….

Wow!  A month has passe. Times flies when you’re having fun. Not been posting anything as, well, I just can’t be arsed. So what’s been going on then?   Well, not too much. 

A few times a year Miss Tim and I head to the UK to shop, eat and drink.   Turns out that it’s cheaper drinking in the UK now than it is in Thailand.  Lots of things are cheaper in the UK than Thailand these days.  Gloss over the expensive flights – but it’s probably cheaper to spend time in the UK than HH.

When I fly on my own.. I hate it. Everything and everyone pisses me off at the airport or on the plane. Miss Tim calms me down and the flight is fun, and we laugh a lot.    Food isn’t bad either.  Whatever it was?

The food in the UK is great.  I am not talking ‘Fish n Chips’  – but Chinese, Indian, Italian and of course Doner Kebabs.

A few minutes walk from my place is a bar which offers 2 for 1 cocktails.  Can’t turn that down right?

After a few hours on the cocktails – we’re ready for food.  There is so much available in the City that we have a tough time choosing.      

Although, when drunk, the only food worth tucking into is a Doner Kebab.  It has to be done.

After a night’s drinking and eating… it we head out each morning before the sun comes up and walk through the city.  We love the peace and quite of the early mornings.  

A few weeks of abusing ourselves, eating, drinking and shopping too much – it was time to head back to Thailand, stopping off in Bangkok for a few days before returning to Hua Hin.

I like the UK more and more these days.  It’s a pity the weather was crap – as we would have liked to take the bikes and cars out – and drive on roads without the fear of imminent death or kamikaze bikers nosediving towards us.

All in all.. a good time was had.  Looking forward to my next trip back.

1st Day back in Thailand – and a few days in Bangkok was on the agenda. 

 Miss Tim wanted some (Thai) food, so we headed to an old fave ‘Have a Zeed’ in T21.

The problem is – not matter what time of day, there is a queue out the door.  So much so now, they have seating, tickets, a screen and a speaker to call you when your table is ready!

One you’re in, the food comes as and when it’s ready. There was a 10 minute gap between us getting our meals.   Yes, the food is good, but I am over it.  The restaurant is rammed full of Chinese people.  There must be some Chinese trip adviser that had this place as the no.1 place to go.   Not that it’s a problem… but have you ever sat next to a hungry Chinese man with a bowl of noodles?  Say no more.

A night out on the town (soi 4) – it’s hard to find a bar that I like much.  There are maybe 3?

Opposite the Raj Hotel Carpark is a nice-looking bar called Red Zone.  It’s clean and the few staff are really good.  It is a great location, great for people watching and oddly enough – empty?

The only problem is…. The people that do seem to enter – are from the middle east.  I’ll let you guess which country.   As soon as they spot the pool table, they ask if it’s free.  They then ask for the cheapest drink on the menu to share between 4 of them.   That’s my cue to leave.   Peasants.

If I were a bar owner, I’d hoof them out.  Then again, I’d hoof most people out.  Balloon chasers, happy hour hunters, leaches and plain cheap fucking arseholes (you know who you are) – the lot of them. 

When I think back to the Mango days, I can’t help but think of all the cheap bastards that were lurking around.  Didn’t notice at the time as I was enjoying myself.  But looking back, jeeez…..

Speaking of peasants…. 

That reminds me.. the Indian Lounge & Club on the top floor of the building opposite has now closed down.. . wonder why?

Fancy a spot of people watching?    The little corner bar next to what was once Liquid, opposite Blanket and Bean.. great place to watch the weird world go by.   Just how tall is this dude?  Surely the girls must run when they see him approaching and licking his lips

A few days in Bangkok was o.k. Any longer and I’d go nuts. Soi 4 is just like a street in the Middle East now. Lots of smelly, hairy people in groups, dragging their flip-flops along the ground.

Can’t say I care for the place or the people.

Next off to Hua Hin.. I am starting to like Hua Hin more these days, that’s because it’s nothing like Bangkok.

More later.

When to Pull-Out?

No, I am not talking about when you and your girlfriend got frisky and didn’t have a condom to hand. I am talking about these Thai fucking idiots on bikes who just pull out of a side road – onto a main road without looking or even slowing down. DICKS. I see this on a daily basis when riding in Hua Hin.

I don’t even notice all the idiots not wearing helmets anymore. That is almost as common as riding around at night with no working lights. At the risk of offending the Thai authorities… THESE THAI PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS.

I arrived back in HH last week. After being away for 4 weeks, the 1st thing I did was head into town, say hello to some people and have a few drinks.

I should have pulled the plug when I got my buzz on. I didn’t. I kept going, and had various bar owners buy me drinks. I don’t remember leaving the town. I do remember the next morning feeling like hammered dog shit.

Hua Hin right now is pretty busy. The start of the high season?

Trying to stay away from the bars each night – we headed to the Cinema to watch some gratuitous mindless violence. Rambo Last Blood.

Why am I telling you this? Well, sat a few seats away from me were a Chinese Family. Mum and her 3 kids. THREE kids. I can only guess at the ages – from 6-9. Really not the age group to be watching people get an axe in the face or a sawn-off shotgun in the ball sack.

After 15 mins, they left, but what I didn’t understand is what on earth possessed them to come into the Theater in the first place? Maybe you can forgive them, thinking Rambo was a cousin of Dumbo? But that’s no excuse for the Thai people on the door selling the tickets. Is there no duty of care here? No morals? Certainly no fucking brains.

After the movie – we headed to Prime for a bit of Steak. The Waiter greeted us and said he’d not seen us for a while. Well, there is a reason for that.

The food in Prime is good. Really good. The service though – is shite. I am sure the owners and staff think they are doing great – but as a seasoned diner – let me tell you a few things about the general public…

  • Don’t stand 3 feet from me – and watch me eat.
  • You don’t have to refill my glass after each sip I take.
  • You don’t have to ask me 3 times if my meal is o.k.
  • Don’t stand over me once you present the bill.

Or am I just being a grumpy old bastard? All I ask is that you leave me the fook alone so I can eat my dinner and talk to my gf in peace.

Luckily for me – I am off back to the UK again in a few days. A week here is about as much as I can take without wanting to go all Rambo myself.

Two weeks in the UK. Driving my cars, riding my bikes, shopping for clothes which are not made for Asians and more excitingly, eating food which is not deep fried.

Can’t wait.

When did ‘crazy’ become normal?

I’ve been asked why I’ve not been posting much these past few months.  Reason is, I have nothing nice to say about much these days.

The world sucks.   Each day I find myself getting wound up about something.

In the UK.. there are now footpath’s dedicated to people using their mobile phones.  The phone zombies can walk along in a world of their own and not worry about holding others up or bumping into people.   Assholes.  

The only good thing I see in that – is that robbers on motorcycles now have the ideal place to go and snatch phones.  Good.

Over in America…. everyone seems to think ‘Gender Neutral’ is a real thing.  Well let me tell you..  it’s not.  You are either male or female.  End of.  That’s like me saying I don’t want to be known as border-line midget.. I want to now be called a tall person.

And what the fook is it with Thai’s and their fashions?   I am still yet to understand the teeth braces girls wear ‘for fashion’.   When was this a good look?  I remember being at school and making fun out of all the ‘cheese grater faces’.    Do women (and men) think this is attractive?   What is wrong with this world?

But this one makes me really mad.   Girls wearing Glasses with clear lenses because it’s fashionable.  I don’t get it?  I thought glasses are an aid to help people see.?   

One girl I saw, was wearing a pair which didn’t even have clear lenses?!  WTF?

Again, at school.. we’d go pick on ‘four-eyes Edwards’ just because of his face furniture.  And now it’s a fashion?   What’s next,  are we going to start wheeling around in wheel-chairs – before going for a jog?    Why not get ourselves a guide dog even though we can see. Don’t stop there, let’s all head to the hospital and get some Chemo… as we don’t need that either.
I could go on.. but I get mad.  The world is a fucked up place right now.  

People are idiots.

If ever there is a plan to send people to Mars – but it’s only a one way ticket – then put my name down.  I have only 1 condition though……..

I’d like to go on my own. please.