Once upon a time in Indonesia – by Flank

I am back in Perth after my BKK stint. The QV 1 is winding down and we are doing curtain walls and internal services.

I grab a chance to go to Batam Island in Indonesia (about 40 min off Singapore). We were building the jacket and the modules for the Chevron Nugini Kutubu project. This was to be followed up with a hook up off Kutubu and I was to spend 12 weeks at sea on the BOS 355 down the track.

Board the plane Perth-Singapore. Easy, relatively short flight, a few brewskies and we’re good. In these days, Singapore was still under Lee Quan Yu so they gave you a hard time when your hair was too long…mine wasn’t.

Got to Changi, walked off the plane and the humidity hit me like a warm wet towel across the face.
I was met by a local employee from Bouyges Offshore and dropped to the hotel for the night..

Too knackered to go to the hotel bar….sleep…at 7 am off to Finger Pier (stupid name) to take the Ferry to Batam.

This was the beginning of an awesome time where eventually I met my now ex…

So in Batam, it is a tax free island, cheap booze…worked for me. The main town is called Nagoya but most of the Island was used for offshore construction yards.

At the first I was in a hotel until the company could secure me a house.

Next to the hotel was a “Coffee Shop”…hmmm….since I am not a Coffee drinker, I went anyway to check it out, acting on a tip off from the hotel doorman.

OK. it is called ‘Mega’…interesting name for a coffee shop. Had to walk through heavy curtains and rock music inside (Indo being Muslim, all these places were kind of disguised but every one knew anyway)…guys you know where this is going right.

Dark inside, local girls some pretty some rough…ok Chinese Singaporeans sneaking around…spineless pricks.

I grab a beer. I meet Ida. Cute as….I didn’t speak Indonesian then but somehow we managed to have a good time and we hooked up. After Thailand, this was a totally different experience. I don’t think she drank a lot but I managed to get her shit faced to a degree I had to carry her to the taxi and my mate, the doorman had to help me to get her to the room…some coffee shop right. I wasn’t too fresh either so we both slept it off and both looked like shit in the morning…Selamat Datang Indonesia!

We were hitting site hard…work sun up to sun down, which is basically from 6am to 6pm. We all went through several litres of water a day to stay hydrated. The Project Manager was a nice guy but he was pushing the project hard. The 355 was booked for the hook up and shit had to be out there in Kutubu in one years time. Everytime a Manitou crane used for the roll over stood idle shit hit the fan…..

But with all this going on, we used to leave site around 6.30 at night, straight to meet at the Mega.

Still in work clothes, covered in dust and shit…no worries. The girls knew we were coming. A mix of thirsty Aussies and French guys…We hit the Heinekens and it was on.

Ida was there most of the time waiting and we had some top times and I slowly started to learn the Indonesian language which is a shit load easier than Thai.

Eventually I met a girl called Rosa…she took me for lunch to a traditional Indonesian restaurant which is a bit like Dim Sum…so lots of little plates of stuff (padang food). I was not used to this shit and I tell you, fucked if I know what most of it was. I soldiered on, not wanting to appear like a pussy, washing it down with Bourbon and Coke.

Long story short, Rosa and me didn’t do much that night as she was in bed and I was in the toilet
spraying from every orifice in my body. She thought that was hilarious….I did not agree…

3 mad nights in Jakarta… by WFTM

Last trip to the big mango was pretty hectic with the Big Mango party, the world cup stuff and just trying to get laid. With all the work I had to do get done it was just easier hitting up Angels than trying to organize hookups or barfining. Besides there are some hotties at Angels at what’s funny is to see them show up on facebook trying to pretend they are just normal party girls. Yeah right.

The highlight of the trip was watching the world cup final with the gang at Sky club. Tons of booze, hotties and a big screen but the game went on so long that by the time we wrapped up I was well – slightly intoxicated. I leave the club to see one the girls I used to hang with who got kind of pissy seeming me chatting up a new girl and getting the digits. Rather than have a faceoff out front we made for the taxi figuring I would call either of them later. Of course coming back to Suk from cambodia at 5 in the morning looking the way we did meant that we were stopped by the BIB using their magically powers of profiling to determine we were harmless. These guys need to to Tel Aviv or something for some proper training. Just pathetic.

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After the celebs… by WFTM

Life can be strange in Asia. One moment you could be in a hotel bar with colleagues, the next you could be in another hotel bar with some slappers and the next you could be at a VIP event with models and actresses. Problem is that I am not the kind to be able to pull models and actresses, I did try, but after being in close proximity with them for hours I was forced to resort to more normal methods for satisfaction.

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YP in Jakarta – The rest of Day 2 and Day 3

After the traumatic incident in the M Blok toilet with the balding smackhead, BB suggested a change of pace. It was welcomed

BATS @ Shangri-La Hotel – Much like Red Square, this place had a swish decor, good music, Oliver Reid approved pours, but was a very weak crowd. Number-crunching looking types in suits, Arabs, and a lot of unappealing hookers. There was one lady-of-the-night who was passable, so we called her over for a drink. Tight body. Full head of hair. No visible signs of heroin withdrawal. A vast Improvement on the last girl. Possible score. Until she smiled. Deary me. No score. Looked like she had swallowed a fucking grenade. A truly horrendous set of gnashers. Pounded 2 Vodka Cranberrys each, gave her a whisky n coke, and the number of a decent dentist, made our excuses and left
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YP in Jakarta – Day 2

Arose at midday, feeling like shit on a stick. Hot sweats, Columbian flu, and liver aches. Polished off 6 paracetemol with 2 litres of water, then soaked in the shower for 30minutes, which did nothing to rescue me from my world of grief

When your this hungover, and in this much pain, the only sensible solution, is to keep on drinking. Keep drinking until the pain subsides, or your liver bursts into flames.
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YP in Jakarta – Day 1

I got a call on Friday night, from contact in Jakarta, Bourgeoisie Barry who I run Tagged/DIA profiles for, asking if I fancied hanging out in Jakarta for the weekend. He would cover flights, accommodation, booze, whores, drugs (I mean medicine – like Night Nurse, Tylenol and stuff), food, and anything else. All I had to go was get to Suvarnabhumi tomorrow morning, in time for the 14:10 Garduda flight to JKT. Score

Saturday morning, I rolled out of bed, nursing the motherfucker of all hangovers, packed my skin tight tshirts, various skin lotions and my passport, skipped out of my front door (which has ladyboy high heel shoes dents in it) and into a yellow and green limousine to the airport.
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Spas, clubs and XXXXX…

I have been having to spend an in-ordinate amount of time in Jakarta as of late. Compared to Singapore, Malaysia or Vietnam – I will take Jakarta. Most people who have not explored Jakarta probably don’t know all it has to offer – it took me a while to sort it out but it is growing on me slightly. Overall the “service” level is not what it is in Bangkok – but I think nothing can match Bangkok when it comes to service. However Jakarta has some things going for it – clubs that stay open all night, spas with a twist and lots of nationalities represented.
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Dodgy Soapy by WFTM

Written about Jakarta a few times. It ain’t Bangkok but compared to the rest of the region it is my number 2 pick. Great vibes, cool food, good clubbing, fun girls and lots of options – since apart from the go-gos about everything else is available. This last trip I decided to explore a little bit more. I had one free evening to myself and wanted to walk around a bit but I was pretty far off from the area I wanted to be in. This area would be the side streets around The Stadium. I will write more about The Stadium on some subsequent post since that is a post in and of itself. Suffice to say Stadium is one of a kind and Bkk has nothing that even partially compares. Imagine a massage joint, club, restaurant, short time hotel and circus all rolled into one. Open until the wee hours of the morning, overlooked by the police and gently cared for by the mafia. Awesome.

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Jakarta in a Nutshell by WFTM

evolution-platypusSome of the geeks out there will know about the O’Reilly Nutshell books. For me anytime I try to tackle a new programming language or some spec I would normally look for the nutshell book on the appropriate subject. Clear, concise and lots of pointers. Hence I will try to do the same. For the record I did SMS and Email the Crazy Kiwi – AKA The Athelete who did get back to me with a list – on my last day of course.

FYI all nutshell series books come with an animal to represent the subject matter. I chose the Platypus – a seemingly strange but cute looking creature that appears to be perfectly harmless but the male of the species has poison spurs and can almost kill you. It is the way I feel about Jakarta. At first glance the seemingly tame Muslim country looks like it does not have much to offer in the way of nightlife but dig a little and you will find a dangerous(in a good way) city that apart from the go-go scene – can be a nice alternative party city to Bangkok.

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My Friend In Jakarta Needs Advice


I have a buddy currently in Jakarta looking for advice on the latest places to go. P4P, partying, clubs, whatever. If you have information to share, please leave a Reply below.


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