The Twilight Zone

Sometimes I refer to Thailand/Bangkok as the Twilight Zone. Meaning the normal rules of the world just don’t apply sometimes. Let me highlight for you a few examples to justify my position on this.

Elivs. In any other part of the world if someone were to walk around dressed like a non-performing Elvis look a like he would usually attract some level of attention. In fact the Lan Kwai Fong (the famous nightlife spot for expats with too much money and arrogant Chinese girls looking for rich boyfriends) area of Central Hong Kong is home to an Elvis impersonator who makes his living by singing off-key Elvis songs using the same melody coupled with 3-4 different lyrics from famous Elvis songs. Both the locals and the expats always get a kick when he walks by. I usually paid him just to go away since I truly loved Elvis and cannot handle a HK Chinese pretending to look like my idol. Back to my point. I was hanging in the Soi 7 beergarden yesterday reading the IHT and nursing my diet coke when I spotted him – an Elvis impersonator not in an Elvis outfit but dressed to kill none the less. You can picture it. Jet black hair with the big scoop in the front married to a huge set of lambchops that seemed to reach down to his ankles. He was wearing some sort of white alligator skin half boot/half dress shoe shoe. Hell if I know what to call them-sansaboots? He was wearing black polyester sansabelt pants – yes you know the kind but it was the shirt that really got me. It was a polyester, somewhat see through, white shirt with a black leopard print pattern. Yes – long sleeve with a big collar. Remember it is hot in Bangkok right now and Soi 7 beergarden only has fans. Just the hint of seeing his naked torso underneath was enough to remind me that today was not the day to have my first meal at Soi 7. Ever been to Vegas? You know those cheap ass big black goldrimmed glasses you can pick up on the street so you too can look like Elvis – he was wearing those. Indoors. What a sight. But given that Bkk is the Twilight Zone and even further to the point that the Soi 7 beergarden is the heart of it – no one gave the guy a second glance. In fact he was getting so little attention that he started talking like Elvis and even waving to the disinterested crowd like he was greeting his fan base before a concert. I almost fell off my stool. Elvis gets no love. 😉

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Day 5-6 by ~h

Last day in Pattaya.

As I sit down to write, there is a 24 year old beauty I barfined last night from a place called Heavan Above splayed out and snoring in my bed. Let’s call her Heavan 1. I am leaving Pattaya today and I have mixed feelings about it. First of all if I don’t leave today I think my dick just might fall off. I’ve never been so sore in my life. If it wasn’t for this fact I would consider extending my Pattya tour at least a day but junior needs a forced rest. I can’t believe this is a problem.

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Pattaya Road Trip

I had to do some business in Chonburi on Saturday and there was not point in getting that close to Pattaya and not stopping in. Always seems to be easy to find a cheap hotel so I never really worry about making reservations. I tend to check out Soi 13/1 off of Beach Road when I am looking for some cheap digs. So far it has never let me down.

I will say up front that one of my bad habits about visiting Pattaya is I tend to go to the same places. I will try to do better in the future about hitting new spots and exploring some more but sometimes I just enjoy going to the places I already know. Moving on.

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Day 2 by ~h

Day 2 in Thailand:

I figured it out. Once a building in Bangkok is built it is painted and never painted again.
The whole city has that worn down look about it except of course the super malls and all the temples. Built but never maintained. Anyways where was I oh yeah. You all probably want me to get right to the juicy stuff this time. I’ll spare the Tuk Tuk and the ATM that ate my card experiences. You see, if an ATM eats your card you are no longer the walking and talking ATM that the Yings are looking for.

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Korat Bargirls circa 1966-67

Wow. This takes u back. Some great photos of the Playboy bar in Korat during the 60’s.

I hear some good stories from time to time and none of them make me more jealous than hearing about the Thailand bar scene back in the day. Some of the guys who happened to be there back then constantly remind me that they had it much better than then we think we have it now. I tend to believe them. The girls were beautiful, look at the pictures, and the scene must have been so much fresher, but I won’t complain too much since at least I am here to enjoy it.

I have heard stories about the Petchaburi road bars back in the 60’s where the entire bargirl staff walked around the bar in nothing but heels, the indoor swimming pool was full of naked girls and the word barfine was not invented yet. Oh my. Well we cannot go backwards but these photos might help to stir the senses.

Thanks to our loyal reader for the link. enjoy.

Part 1 of Many from ~h

Here is out first reader contribution. I love the writing. Dig the content and appreciate the candidness.

here we go:

BKK trip report. Take off from SFO China Air Midnight bridging Sat and Sun. Check in two hours early. I have the last window seat in the back of the plane. Take my seat and were off. Thirteen and a half hours straight, sitting next to an older Indian guy who speaks no English and is wearing a turban while exuding some colorful odors. It is a long flight into a never-ending evening as we are chasing the night the whole time. Two meals, three movies and many hours later we land in Taipei Taiwan. Three and a half hour layover and I’m starting to get a little bleary eyed. Continued reading a Million Pieces to pass the time. Board the plane and I’m in another capsule for four hours. This time I have a little more room to stretch out, close my eyes and rest a little. And I’m starting to get very excited.

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More 101 – Try Tulip…

Total newbies stare off the Balcony into Nana Plaza and sometimes ask a very simple question – tell me how it all work. Sounds generic enough but I get what they mean – they need to have the scene broken down for them in simple terms. I usually try to do my best and frankly always enjoy giving this answer since it helps me to remember how amazing it all really is.

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So many questions…

I know. There are countless columns, blogs, and websites devoted to talking about Thailand, the nightlife, the women, the food and so on. I am not here to say that one more is needed but hey – I am in Thailand, I have some experiences, I run a business in Thailand(you could say right in ground zero), I like to write and I am tethered to the net. So I guess what I am saying is – I just have to do this.

There are lots of sites out there that I read and use to keep myself up to date but I usually do not find them written in such a way that I enjoy, written in a condescending tone or I find the information to be totally second-hand, meaning – the writer is consolidating information from multiple sources. I tend to find some of the best written to stuff to be in forums – here is one example of some candid but interested writing. Sf Redbook International Forums. This is straight from the hip confessions of experiences written but someone who knows how to write and is not afraid of saying what he really is feeling. Great stuff.

So here we go. Read it, condemn it, comment on it – whatever u feel like doing since that is the purpose of it all anyway.